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"I like this guy."
"Huh?"
"The handsome guy on this poster. He's one of the good guys, right?"
"Obi-Wan Kenobi? Yeah, he's a Jedi."
"Blue sword. The evil guys have red swords, right?"
"Right, but they're called lightsabers."
"The swords?"
"Yes."
"I wouldn't know."
"Sure... I'll pretend you asked me and say I like R2-D2. The rebellion wouldn't have survived without him. Nice design, avoids the uncanny valley."
"You like the trash can?"
"He's not a trash can. I'm sorry he's not as handsome to you as Obi-Wan without blue eyes and a goatee."
"What about the gold robot?"
"You mean the droid C-3PO? What about him?"
"I don't know their names."
"Everyone knows their names. It's pop culture."
"I don't do pop culture. I read Proust."
"You read Lee Child."
"The gold one's not your favorite?"
"They're a good duo, you need C-3PO to understand R2-D2, but I prefer R2."
"But you're always like, Beep boop, oh no, the danger levels are at a thousand percent!"
"Incorrect. Percentage values never exceed one hundred."
"See? You're the gold robot."
"I was kidding. I know what hyperbole is. But how do you know what C-3PO's like if you don't do pop culture? You've seen the original trilogy?"
"No, I've never seen any of those kind of movies. They're for children."
"That's a shame. You might like Anakin Skywalker. He's got a blue sword too."
"You think I'm Darth Vader?"
"How do you know Anakin is Vader if you don't do pop—"
"I'm not Darth Vader. Maybe we should go to a different showroom so you can go kiss a trash can because you love them so much."
"Sure, then let's go buy a toilet. I love kissing things that are full of shit."
"IKEA doesn't sell toilets."
"Now who's the gold robot?"
"That's different. Han Solo knows about inventory because he's a trader, a risk-taking entrepreneur like me. C-3PO knows about percentages and getting scared the mission's gonna fail because he's a pedantic neurotic like you. And I know the difference because I know pop culture. Are you happy?"
"What if I'm the Chewbacca to your Han Solo?"
"Fine, you're my Chewie. Are you happy now?"
"Yes. Thank you for searching your feelings."
"Yeah, yeah, I know it to be true, are we done?"
"We're done."
"Good. Let's go to the restaurant section. I want köttbullar."
"You can just say meatballs."