Chapter Text
Jyn Erso had to leave this meeting immediately.
It was bad enough they started by talking about a mission in which they had lost several rebel fighters, bringing back memories, memories she would rather not have to deal with during this briefing. But they flashed in her mind anyways, visions of a beach, of climbing, of facing off against the man in white.
And, as if that wasn’t bad enough, someone brought up Saw Gerrera. She felt eyes drift to her as they talked about whether they should pick up some of his tactics. They looked at her like she should have an opinion. She didn’t. Or at least not one she wanted to share with them.
Usually Cassian was here. When he was here, all of this didn’t feel so overwhelming. His presence grounded her. But he was currently on a mission. One of his first major missions since recovering from his injuries. And that made her afraid in a way she couldn’t deal with, in a way that was mixing very badly with all the other thoughts bouncing around in her brain.
She was in the back of the room, so as calmly and slowly as she could manage, she started to inch toward the door. She was vaguely aware of Mon Mothma’s eyes following her.
As soon as she was out of the briefing room, she ran toward the hanger. Bodhi. She needed Bodhi, who would understand, who would listen, and let her put her head on his shoulder while she just took a moment.
She couldn’t find him. He wasn’t working on any of the ships or talking with any of the other pilots or mechanics. A couple of them looked at her with concern when she asked where Bodhi was. The panic kept rising in her chest.
Finally, Jyn found herself in a corner of the hanger, where she collapsed against the landing gear of some piece of junk freighter. She shoved her head between her knees and focused on taking deep breaths. Focused on not letting out the sob building inside her.
Above the roaring in her ears and her heavy breathing, she didn’t hear footsteps come down the ramp of what was apparently the occupied ship and approach her. She didn’t know someone was there until she heard a throat being cleared and a voice saying, “Can I help you?”
She took a deep breath, kept her head down and swiped at her cheeks. “I was looking for Bodhi Rook.”
“Rook left for a supply run about an hour ago,” the voice replied. “He wasn't going far, sure I’ll still be around when he gets back if you want me to let him know you were looking for him.”
Karabast. She had completely forgotten Bodhi would be gone today.
“No, it’s fine. I’ll find him when he comes back.” Jyn finally lifted her head. As she did, she took in a pair of black boots, a standard pair of pants, and a blue jacket, and finally, oh kriff.
She saw the recognition flash on his face at the same time it did on hers.
“You’re… you’re Jyn Erso” the man standing in front of her said.
“And you are Han Solo,” Jyn said in response.
Han shook his head in disbelief, probably because the hero of Scarif was currently having a breakdown in front of his ship. She had seen Han before. First during the meeting before the destruction of the Death Star, then at the medal ceremony after, when he, along with Luke Skywalker and the Rogue One crew, had been rewarded for their efforts. Now she occasionally saw him around base, where he was usually accompanied by a Wookie, Skywalker, or General Organa.
Han squatted down so they were eye level with each other.
“Kriff, you're young. I mean, I’ve seen you before and I figured since Rook is also pretty young, but you can’t be much older than Luke or Leia.”
Jyn stared at him, unsure how to respond to that comment. Han blew past it.
“So,” he said with a slight smirk forming on his lips, “what is the notorious Jyn Erso doing by my ship?”
“I was looking for Bodhi. I just needed some… space.” That was as much as she was willing to reveal to this stranger.
Han studied her. Jyn knew he would notice her red eyes and tear-stained cheeks, but didn’t back down. She dared him to say anything about it.
“Those meetings sure can be a drain,” was all he said.
Jyn simply nodded. Han stuck his hand out and she stared at it for a second before accepting it. She dropped the hand as soon as she was on her feet.
They stood there for a moment, and it seemed like neither knew what to say nor do. Jyn knew she should walk away, go back to the meeting, and she was just about to move to do that when Han opened his mouth again.
“You know what you did, getting the plans, it was impressive. I mean, Luke wouldn’t have been able to do what he did without you.”
Jyn could feel herself freeze up. She hated talking about Scarif, she hated the praise she got. So, she shifted gears.
“You were up there too, right?”
“Yep. Me and Chewie we're in the Falcon” he said, gesturing behind them at the ship Jyn had been leaning on.
She looked back. She had heard of the Millennium Falcon, but seeing it up close, she couldn’t say she was impressed. Honestly, Jyn was surprised the thing made it off planet.
She turned back to Han and saw the proud look on his face. Jyn shook her head and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Pilots and their ships. They stood in silence for another beat.
“Well, I should probably get back,” she declared.
Han nodded and turned his body to let her pass.
“I’ll see you around, Han Solo.” Jyn said, and started to walk towards the exit of the hanger.
“You know,” Han said to her back. Jyn stopped in her tracks and looked over her shoulder. “If you ever need more space, I could always use some more hands on the Falcon.”
Jyn didn’t know what to make of that offer. She simply nodded.
“See you around, Erso,” he said. And then Han turned and walked up the ramp back into the Falcon.
———
Han was not sure why he told Jyn Erso she could come on the Falcon.
Except when he looked at her, he saw the same pain and loss he saw in Leia and Luke.
Everyone in this place praised her and her crew for what they did to get the Death Star plans. But people also whispered about Erso. Through the grapevine, he picked up the basic idea that the girl had not had it easy. Her father worked for the Empire building the Death Star, and she was raised in part by Saw Gerrera, a rebel cell leader who perished on Jedha, but whom Jyn had not spoken with for years before. The rebellion picked her up from an imperial labor camp. She had a rap sheet shorter than Han’s but impressive nonetheless.
And Han saw a whole lot of hurt in her eyes as she sat against the landing gear of his ship. And well, working on the Falcon had helped Luke, and she seemed like a good kid who just needed a friend.
To be fair, she had some friends. She mainly stuck with the other Rogue One crew members. Han had seen her sitting with Rook as he fixed ships, in the mess hall with two older men who never seemed to leave each other’s side, one a blind monk who Luke had talked to about the force and one larger, with long hair, who could often be found at the shooting range with a repeating cannon strapped to his back. And most often she was with a stoic rebel intelligence captain he had seen Leia talk with a few times.
But maybe she needed another. Who knew? Han doubted she would come back.