Work Text:
Dear Steve,
I'm getting older, I think I'm aging well, emphasis on I think. 106th huh? Damn. I'm still kicking but I wish that someone had told me I'd be doing it alone. I mean I'm not necessarily alone I'm just without you. I'm plenty grateful for all the people around me it's just the fact that they aren't you. I want you. Please goddamnit PLEASE COME BACK
there's a stop to the writing and part of it is messily scribbled out along with the paper being tear stained slightly.
It's just that everything is so different without you and I'm not sure if I can take it. That sounds pitiful, truly, but maybe I'm just bad at healing without you or brainwashing haha. The things I once enjoyed just bring me grief now they just remind me of you and how you ran off and forgot about me. Oh, don't worry I'm plenty bitter even though you did it for the greater good. you didn't even think about how it would affect me.
once again there is a pause in the writing and part of it is scribbled out so his therapist can't see.
But I'm getting less stubborn in some ways so I guess that's good. I'm supposed to be happier than ever can you believe that? that's what Pepper said to me the other day which didn't make much sense but I'm too exhausted to think about it. I can't sleep unless I'm on the floor or next to you like how we were in that apartment. So floor it is ha. Anyway I got off track she told me that I should be happy and grateful that I'm not back in the 40s or still stuck as him and I just didn't know what to say. what the hell are you supposed to say to that? Sam stepped in though so I guess that's good. I would like to be the happiest I've ever been however I just can't see that without you.
you is hesitantly underlined.
But next week, I hope I'm somewhere laughing,I promise I'll be fine. I've had some trauma, did things I didn't want to. I was too afraid to tell you, but now, I think it's time I do.
I Loved you.