Work Text:
It took more than a week for Magnus' and Cat's magic to make their way through Alec's blood and get rid of the poison, Cat fighting to save him between the sobs and whispered apologies to Magnus and the children.
She never, ever before had messed up with a healing potion. Never. She can't put her head around the fact that the balm she made for Alec's shoulder to seal the deep burning bite of a Shax demon, had somehow turned into a powerful poison, almost impossible to neutralize.
And so can't Magnus. Her friend of a lifetime. He's sure something happened to that potion from when Cat gave it to Alec, that's why he sent it straightaway to the Spiral labyrinth.
"I told you!" Magnus shouts through the corridors waving the fire message in his left hand, "Someone switched the potion with one made of ravenous demons poison."
"How could that be-"
"Possible? Cause my husband sometimes is oblivious even to the obvious," Magnus concludes slamming his palm on the infirmary's desk.
Cat can sense he's furious.
"He couldn't know, Magnus…," she tries but stops immediately when he glares at her and points his forefinger to her chest.
"Oh right, he couldn't have guessed that someone out there wanted him dead! After turning all the ShadowWorld upside down, after becoming the leader of the Downworld Alliance, changing the world little by little, marrying a warlock, who accidentally is the son of one of the greatest demons, and leading the hugest schism the Nephilims had ever witnessed inside their ranks and organization, he obviously couldn't see it coming!"
He slumps on the chair and breathes heavily.
"Sorry," he finally adds, "I needed to let it out. It's just that…," he inhales sharply, "...I almost, almost made my peace with the idea that he's a soldier and can die in battle. But not like this, Cat. Not like this."
"He took it from my very hands, Magnus. How could he think it was dangerous?"
"He absentmindedly left it somewhere! And he shouldn't have! I…, I…"
Cat hears it clearly the moment his voice cracks and turns from rage to terror, "I can't lose him. I can't…"
She steps closer and hugs him, "Go get some rest, Magnus. He should wake soon."
"You too," he whispers and Cat nods relieved as she walks out.
Magnus sighs and lays down on the bed beside the one where Alec is sleeping. He doesn't want to linger on the thought that someone really tried to kill him and almost succeeded. And that this someone could be among them.
His eyes close against his will and he drifts off into a light tormented sleep.
He startles and gasps when a hand shakes him awake.
"He's mumbling," Jace tells him, "thought you'd wanted to be looking at him when he opens his eyes."
Magnus sits and adjusts his shirt, flattening the rumpled fabric with his palms.
"So it's in here?" Jace asks, his anger and worry clearly evident in the way he's looking at Magnus.
"We need to talk to him to be sure. Know what he's done with that vial."
Jace hums and pats Magnus on his shoulder.
"I'd strangle him too sometimes," and in an instant he's gone.
Magnus sits on the left side of the bed and looks as Alec turns his head twice, extends his neck, then swallows and finally blinks his blue eyes open.
"Are you mad?" Alec wheezes, his voice hoarse and raspy and Magnus is, of course he is, mad. But he is also so madly happy to hear him talking again that he can't help but smile.
"Maybe tomorrow," he answers, skimming his fingers along Alec's jawline, "tomorrow when you're home and all the days after, until you've made it up to me. But right now, let me just savour the joy of having you back."
His voice lowers in the end, as it happens when Magnus is overwhelmed by emotions.
Alec smiles back at him, the way he does only to Magnus. The way no one else has ever seen him smiling and Magnus feels so incredibly blessed to have this.
"Ask me anything."
"Don't you dare make promises you are not able to keep, Shadowhunter." Magnus' tone seems a scolding one, but his gaze lands softly on Alec's features, caressing him the same way his fingers are now brushing his arms and wrists, as if he still can't believe Alec's alive
The next day Alec is lying on their bed, the children squashing him between their tiny arms.
"Anything?" Magnus asks casually as he joins them.
Alec's eyes get lost wandering on Magnus' shirt, open on his bare chest, the lilac color of the wisteria grape-like flowers on it, perfectly matching the glittery purple of his eyeshadow.
"My eyes are up here, husband."
"I'm aware."
The kids suddenly chuckle, tickling Alec on his chest.
"What are you two laughing at now?" he asks, trying to pull all them into a sitting position and failing.
"You always get distracted when Bapak is naked," Rafe states and Max giggles, nodding and rubbing Alec's ribs in the way.
Magnus laughs wholeheartedly as he witnesses to the crimson spread from the hollow of Alec's neck up to his temples.
"I said it and I meant it," Alec manages to say, "Anything."
Magnus hums as he settles beside Rafe, his long arm extending until it encircles his three treasures.
Next thing Alec feels is a soft warm breeze on his skin that gently coaxes him out of his sleep.
He looks up and sees a deep azure sky, he hears the gentle sound of rolling waves and rises up on his elbows.
The blue surface of the lake is quivering under the wind.
"Good morning my dear.*
"Where are we?"
"Somewhere you can recover properly. That poison almost ate you alive from the inside."
Alec remains still and silent.
"You said anything," Magnus adds and Alec notices the slightest hint of insecurity in his tone, as if he's worried of having pushed things too far.
"Thank you," he answers quietly, "for seeing my needs when I am too blind to."
Magnus turns toward the water, always unprepared for the immensity of Alec's feelings and for the way his man always notices, always knows, always senses and always reassures.
"How are you feeling?" he eventually asks, as he lays a cotton colored cloth on the beach bed beside Alec.
"Exhausted," Alec admits, grateful he has no need to hide anything from him.
"Guessed so," Magnus affirms and closes his eyes.
Alec looks up again and sees the wind move the leaves of a huge cottonwood tree. They're beautiful, he thinks, the underside almost silver.
"I'm getting older," he blurts out.
"You've been since you were born," Magnus answers, trying to steer the conversation away from whatever connection it could have with death and immortality. He cannot have this. Not now. Not after he's been that close to losing him.
"I'm serious, Magnus. It took me a week to come back to life. When I was you-"
Magnus surges and pushes him down hard on the cushion.
"You drank the equivalent of the blood of ten ravenous demons." His voice is louder than he intended and he's shaking in the effort of not losing his temper completely. He pulls back and lays down again, breathing through his nose. "You shouldn't have left that glass bottle unattended. Age has nothing to do with that."
Alec hears it for what it exactly is. A burst of anger that Magnus has been holding back probably since he found Alec unconscious on the floor.
"I know," he says quietly, "I'm still not used to believe I can be the center of someone else's attention. Even if it's about murdering me."
Magnus stays silent, because he knows. And this is the reason why he's so worried.
"Anyway one day I will be," Alec resumes, not really sure why he keeps pushing.
"Will be…?"
"Older."
"Ah, you're back there again. Then what?"
"Then I will be gone."
He can hear Magnus' breath itching and he feels sorry for always being incapable of keeping his overthinking private, whenever he is around Magnus.
"So?" Magnus forces another question out, just to let Alec aware that it's no use going down that path. They both know it.
The leaves flutter again, catching Alec's attention.
"This could be a good way to be next to you when I'm gone."
"Uhm?" Magnus fakes not to be listening, stubbornly refusing to follow Alec's mind where it's gone now.
"Through the wind whispering in the trees, or the sun touching your skin in the morning, or the waves caressing your feet when you walk along the beach. I might ask the angels for it."
Magnus' eyes are heavy now, filled with tears. It's beautiful and terrifying at the same time, thinking about what Alec has just said. It speaks of a love that somehow finds a way to win death and overcome it but it also hides a story of desperate longing.
Pain is silent sometimes, Alec thinks as he stares at him. It spreads inside you just like a poison in little bits.
"Can we stay in the here and now?" Magnus eventually chokes out and Alec hugs him, despite the fact that his husband is fighting him, as he does when he's hurt.
Alec tightens his embrace and the light struggle goes on for a little while, until Magnus surrenders.
Alec squeezes Magnus' shoulders and kisses his forehead, tenderly, then the wrinkle between his brows, and his eyelids and jaws, each press of his lips a silent apology for having tainted their recent victory against fate and time.
It's something they usually celebrate.
But Alec is not really in the mood this time.
Maybe he's been too close to dying, maybe it's because it'll be his birthday in less than two months, maybe it's because of the melancholy of the place that spreads over everything.
Until Max shakes him out from his daze and brings him back forcefully to what truly counts, to that present that is so incredibly full of love and somehow still at his disposal.
Despite everything.
And this is something he never wants to loose focus on.
His youngest boy is running toward him with a tiny cake, Rafe following him right behind, smiling.
"We forgot to celebrate you're back and safe," Max shouts.
"Blow the candle, dad," Rafael tells him, "and don't forget your wish."
"What wish?" Max asks, tugging Alec's shorts.
"He can't tell you, otherwise it won't happen."
Max pouts as Alec blows the flame, closing his eyes.
It's deep into the night when Alec feels Magnus rolling for what it's like the hundredth time in a few hours.
He can't sleep.
He keeps thinking about the wish.
It's something that never bothered him this much.
He's just curious.
Or maybe he's jealous of what Alec could have asked for.
Or he's only still a bit shaken and angry at his reckless husband and at himself for loving him so deeply that sometimes he feels like crawling out of his skin.
But Alec knows him from the heart.
Knows him better than he knows himself and loves him more than he'll ever be able to explain in words.
He scoots closer and spoons Magnus from behind,his chest pressed against Magnus' back.
"I ask for time to be generous, each and every time I blow a candle," he whispers.
Magnus stops breathing all at once before turning to face him.
His eyes are shining wet but he's smiling when he slaps Alec on his butt.
"You're the worst, you know that?"
"Yeah, yeah. I know," Alec breathes out.