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39 Offensive Things Straight People Have Legitimately Said To People In The LGBTQ Community

"[He] said when we were ready to have kids, there was a cup in his fridge with our name on it."

Recently, we asked LGBTQ members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the ridiculous and offensive things straight people have said to them. Here are some of their responses!

Note: Some submissions include topics of rape and pedophilia.

1. "'You don't look gay.'"

2. "'This is a phase. Just look to Jesus.'"

3. "If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me how two girls could have sex..."

4. "When we were in college, my wife (then girlfriend) and I worked together at the dining hall on campus. There was a guy that worked there who said when we were ready to have kids, there was a cup in his fridge with our name on it."

5. "[The] first time my best friend left me alone with her new boyfriend (she had to go up to her room), he told her that he was uncomfortable that she left him alone with me cause I'm gay and he didn't want me to make a move on him."

6. "My best friend's ex-boyfriend decided it was a great idea to say, 'If you kiss your girlfriend where I can watch, I’ll give you $20.'"

7. “Queer and trans man here ... 'Have you had…~the surgery~?'”

8. "'Who's the man and who's the woman?'"

9. "To me and my girlfriend on vacation: 'Are you sisters?!'"

10. "When I met my now-husband and told him I'm bi, he said, 'I can change that.'"

11. “It’s only a microaggression if you let it be.”

12. "If ONE MORE PERSON tells me it’s wrong to use 'they/their' for a single individual, I swear I’ll go bonkers on the spot."

13. "I'm pan and I constantly get stuff that’s like, 'Oh, so you’re just bi.' NO, I'M NOT."

14. "When I finally came out to a roommate ... she always asked me to look away when she was changing. (First of all, she knew I was and am in a happy relationship; second of all, it’s not like I was looking anyways!! Thanks for making me feel gross.)"

15. "When I changed my pronouns to she/they, almost everyone said, 'Okay, but you’re just doing it for attention / you’re just a cis girl trying to be quirky.'"

16. "You're actually not a lesbian. You're just afraid of men."

17. “'Wait, so you’re pan? Doesn’t that mean you f**k pans?'"

18. “'Are you a boy or a girl? No, no, I mean were you bOrN a BoY oR a GiRl?' I was born a baby, you old-fashioned piece of trash."

19. "Something that makes me cringe is when someone comes out as non binary and people purposely misgender them with their dead name and pronouns and justify it with 'it’s confusing' or 'it just doesn’t make sense to me.'"

20. "I'm agender and the number of times I've been asked, 'But what bathroom do you use?' is wild."

21. “You just haven’t had the right penis yet."

22. "'Can you tone down your gay?'"

23. "I’m asexual and I hate hearing, 'Well, how can you know you’re asexual if you’re a virgin?'”

24. "My middle school principal told me I ‘wasn’t allowed’ to come out as nonbinary because it would ‘set me apart from the other students.'"

25. "When I came out, my father told me that I was doing it because I was angry at him and I was just trying to get back at him."

26. "'Hey, it's okay that I wear leggings, right? You're not going to look at my butt?' —A female 'friend' who knows I'm a lesbian."

27. “'I don’t care if you’re gay. Just don’t shove it down my throat.'"

28. "I’ve also been told that I couldn’t be a lesbian because I like dresses, makeup, and the color pink."

29. "You look like a girl, so you can't be nonbinary."

30. “'You probably have HIV.'”

31. "I'm asexual and the worst comment to me is always something along the lines of, 'Sex can fix that.'"

32. “'Well, you chose that lifestyle so you have to accept how people feel about it.'”

33. "My Christian friend when I came out to her: 'I love you and support you. But it makes me sad to know you'll end up in hell.'"

34. "That being ace isn't a sexuality. It's a health condition and I should see a doctor to try to 'cure' it with medication and therapy."

35. “'I don’t think we can be friends anymore... I’m just worried you will try to turn me gay.'"

36. "As an openly gay woman in the military, I once had a guy in my unit ask me if because I was gay, I felt that pedophiles deserved rights."

37. "I came out to my grandparents as a lesbian and the first thing my grandmother said was, 'So are you going to be more Ellen or Portia?'"

38. "I’m a pansexual woman engaged to a straight man. I get lots of comments about how I 'chose men.'”

39. And finally..."That saying 'that’s gay' to things that were 'dumb' or 'stupid' shouldn’t offend me."

Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.

Looking for more ways to get involved? Check out all of BuzzFeed's posts celebrating Pride 2021.