Seek Wisdom from Others

So, one should talk about the problem, not run away from it. The cornerstone of a quality partnership is the belief that their partner is worthy of respect and appreciation. Does affective attachment style affect the quality of the partnership? Philosophers, psychologists, and writers have all tried their hand at addressing the question of what people want in a partnership. Nietzsche claimed that a man wants two things--danger and play. Freud concluded that women do not know what they want, but these explanations do not answer the question. There should be moments in each person's life to contemplate what they want in a partner, and what level of emotional connection is the ideal. Natural moisturising ingredient from the jojoba plant, hydrating, packed with vitamins and minerals, perfect for really, really sensitive skins Evening primrose oil Fabulous for inflammation and acts as an emollient to trap moisture into the skin so it is beneficial to those with drier skin, eczema and psoriasis. It also contains essential fatty acids (EFAs)! Great hydrator and highly soothing Healing and energising but can be sensitising An overview of skincare products to avoid: The black charcoal masks are a no-no. They don't resolve the skin problems, so your blackheads will be back sooner than you can spell `blackhead'. The best way to avoid blackheads is through exfoliation and consistency in your routine. The qualities of a partnership depend on many factors, such as intimate interactions, loyalty, communication, relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, support, etc An emotional partner is concurrently the primary provider and recipient of emotional support, a sexual partner, and an affective figure, meaning that depending on the affective pattern formed, the partners will exhibit a degree of care and sexuality. Affective attachment is manifested differently in codependent people, so in a partner relationship, there are individual differences that are determined by the pattern of affective attachment. Kim Bartolomeu talked about four styles of attachment, 1) safe, 2) preoccupied, 3) timid, and 4) dismissive.

Safe individuals build open and authentic partnerships, have high self-confidence, easily achieve intimacy in relationships, and constructively resolve conflicts. For people with this pattern of affective attachment, emotional intercourse with others is very important, and in the partnership, they are securely attached because, in addition to feeling self-worth, they enjoy the closeness and intimacy. On the other hand, codependent persons are dependent on partners, invest too much in a partnership, and have the belief that they must be loved. These persons are territorial in representing their love and idealizing their partner. Afflicted persons have a conflict of motives, seek affirmation of their personal values from their partners, and they are passive and dependent. Chaos is the major feature of their relationships. The avoid bonding with people that are compulsively self-reliant, superior, and have an increased need for autonomy. If a moisturiser feels really thick and heavy on your fingers and on your face, it can't properly penetrate your skin. If it stays on your skin after a few minutes and you're left with a sheen of oil or grease, it's too heavy of a moisturiser. Opt for serums that can actually get into your skin due to their smaller molecular size. If a brand has an acne range, often it means that every single product contains salicylic acid or tea tree oil. This is no good because as you probably know by now, your skin benefits much more from multiple ingredients to do multiple jobs! This is why I'm fond of the mix and match approach - it means that your skin gets something to treat spots, something to hydrate it, something to protect it from free radical damage and more . Skin Diary Check-in: Take a look at the above list of ingredients and make note of the ones you think will address your current concerns. Check the ingredients lists on the products you currently use - the one on the back, not the front. Ingredient potency is listed from the top, left to right. They build short-term and superficial connections. Lack of closeness, intimacy, and expression of emotions are their characteristics. They have the conviction that the relationship suffocates, but the root of the fear is rejection.

Various world-wide studies show that securely bonded couples work better together, are more satisfied in the relationship, and constructively resolve conflicts. According to behavioral theory, compatible partner behaviors lead to higher quality partnerships. Same or different styles of attachment Research shows that dyads, in which both members have a secure attachment style, are of better quality. The same behavioral system and emotional response, the experience of acceptance, support, availability, and sensitivity of the partners lead to these couples having a good relationship. Couples in which the dyad members are differently related, are likely to rate their relationship as lower quality, due to differences in the behavioral, cognitive, and emotional systems. One member who suffers from codependency may have a high level of anxiety accompanied by fear of abandonment, while the other may have a low level of anxiety accompanied by an experience of self-worth. Are your products truly doing what you need them to do? Cosmeceutical Versus Over-the-counter Products Understanding the difference between cosmeceutical products and over-the-counter products (OTC) is key when it comes to choosing the right goodies for you and your skin. Cosmeceutical is a combination of the words `cosmetic' and `pharmaceutical'. It's kind of a marketing buzzword more than anything, but a great descriptor nonetheless. If a product is cosmeceutical, it contains enough active ingredients that penetrate into the lower layers of the skin to create changes, for example, tackling bacteria or stimulate collagen. A true cosmeceutical should only be retailed along with the right education and information so that you are aware of how to use it. This is why I am such an advocate of consultations. In a consultation, an expert can impart this knowledge to the client and offer follow-up support. An example of a cosmeceutical product would be one high in glycolic acid, such as IMAGE Skincare's Ageless Total Facial Cleanser. The same rule applies to the avoidance domain. One partner may express and accept trust, and closeness, the other may be distrustful and disinterested in expressing closeness. These differences lead to frequent marital conflicts, dissatisfaction, misunderstandings, and inconsistencies, which have detrimental effects on the quality of marriage.

Married couples who share the same levels of anxiety and avoidance, will have a higher quality relationship than couples having disparate levels of anxiety and avoidance. Relationship with a codependent person You have been in an emotional relationship for a long time and everything seems to be fine. Your partner is fully committed, and you feel loved. However, that doesn't make you happy. You have the feeling that you have lost yourself. You cannot distinguish your wants, from your partner's needs. Over-the-counter products do not contain the amounts of active ingredients that can cause change in the skin. They can be obtained sans consult and without advice. They soothe, pacify and calm the skin and can help boost the skin's barrier function, but it is important to note that not all OTC products are created equal and some can contain harsh and drying fragrances and preservatives. When buying OTC products, avoid: Large amounts of drying alcohols (listed as denatured alcohol, alcohol denat. It's not so much about individual ingredients - it's about the concentration of them, why they're being used and if the product as a whole is beneficial to the skin. My experience lies predominantly in the world of the cosmeceutical. I have trained and lectured with brands that began with a plastic surgeon or dermatologist with a dream to spread skin health, such as IMAGE Skincare and Murad. These brands blind test their products and have them tested independently to ensure that the results they are getting are real. For me, the cosmeceutical triumphs over the OTC. They result in long-term measurable changes to the skin. You are chronically dissatisfied, even depressed. You feel like you are in a cage, and as though you are no longer you. These signals can indicate that you are in a symbiotic emotional relationship.

What is a symbiotic emotional relationship? The term symbiotic relationship is commonly used to describe the type of relationship that occurs in an animal species. It is a relationship in which two individuals interact with each other for their common benefit. These individuals are functionally and physically connected, and operate as one organism. In humans, the symbiotic relationship is the fusion of two people into one, meaning they cannot function effectively without each other. Practically speaking, you and me become we, a new plane of existence in which both persons lose their individuality. This kind of relationship is not exclusive to partners in a relationship or marriage, it may also be present in relationships with friends, or parent-child relationships. That said, cosmeceuticals can cause initial irritation, which is why you will always be advised to start small and build up, and they will be more expensive. On top of that, because they are not owned by global beauty brands, they are less accessible (you won't find them in the local supermarket) and you should follow the advice of a consultation to obtain them. Similarly, there are pros and cons to OTCs. They are affordable, accessible and ideal for immediate effects, such as hydration. I see cosmeceutical skincare as the route for people looking to bring about change in their skin but OTC skincare is ideal for someone maintaining their skin, who wants it to be clean, moist and balanced, but who is not focused on correcting skin concerns. OTC products I recommend I like Avene's sunscreens and a bunch of their other products, Gallinee is probiotic skincare that I really like. Neostrata have loads of highly active products all over the counter too - it's a great brand. It is actually a cosmeceutical sold in an OTC manner - I believe this is the future for active skincare. Once education features, I feel it is ethical. What kinds of persons are inclined to build symbiotic relationships? Although relationships between partners imply equality, it is possible for one person to be drawn into a symbiotic relationship by the other. Usually, this happens under the guise of true love, that is to say, one of the partners involved is very happy, because they have received unconditional love and commitment from the other partner.