17 Holiday Gifts for Your Stressed Best Friend
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A Pillow to SqueezeLurera Anti-Anxiety PillowRead more
Luxury Loungewear Dagsmejan Cardigan RobeRead more
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If They Have Sore MusclesLyric MassagerRead more
Life is hectic. Between work and bills, relationships, kids, and general anxiety that the world is crumbling, I'm fairly certain we could all use some time to relax. With the holidays coming up, it's a good time to show your loved ones that you care about them and their well-being.
We don't have anything here to help rebuild society, but we've tried a wide variety of products that might help with the relaxing part. And don't forget to treat yourself. For more advice, we have a guide on staying calm. We should note here that none of these gifts can cure anxiety or panic disorders. If someone you know is suffering, offer them an ear and see if they're comfortable speaking with a doctor.
Updated December 2021: We've added two more of our favorite bath accessories, Moon Bath's Bath Tea and Savannah Bee Company's Royal Jelly Body Butter.
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- Photograph: Lurera
A Pillow to Squeeze
Lurera Anti-Anxiety PillowWhen you're in the midst of a panic attack, there's a sensory exercise that might help bring you back down. Look around the room and list five things you see, four things you feel, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste. This pillow isn't a cure for anxiety, but it checks off at least two senses (three if you count sight!), and it offers soft support the rest of the time.
The outer shell is super soft—it's supposed to feel like petting a beloved animal—plus there's a gel-filled pack inside that heats up in the microwave, and a plastic beating heart that sits inside an interior pocket. So when you squeeze this pillow, it's almost as nice as a real, warm hug when you really need one. At first, I thought the heartbeat was a little too fake, but after a few minutes of lying with it, I felt a lot more at ease as I focused on the beating instead of my racing brain. I hate flying, and I could see myself packing this to squeeze on my next trip.
★ Cover options: There are two pillows available. I tried the luxuriously soft faux fur cover ($70). There's also one with a shaggy cover ($60).
Photograph: BearabyAnd a Blanket to Snuggle Under
Weighted BlanketsPeople either love or hate weighted blankets. If you love them like I do, lying under one feels like being held. They make great gifts because they tend to be too pricey to purchase for yourself. The following are some of our favorites, but we have a guide with more options at different price points.
Yaasa's blanket ($249) is chunky, gorgeous, and rigid (in a good way!), so it stays put. Bearaby's Tree Napper ($269) looks similar to Yaasa's, with a big, open-knit design, but it drapes more and comes in a few stunning colors.
Luna has the most size and weight options, and it's much cheaper, starting at $70. Luna also has kids' options ($50). The Baloo Weighted Throw ($159) is perfect for people who need something smaller, like those of us who share a bed with weighted-blanket-averse people. It's thin and cool—I use it all summer without breaking a sweat.
- Photograph: Dagsmejan
Luxury Loungewear
Dagsmejan Cardigan RobeI've tried a lot of robes, nearly all of them great for relaxing, but none made me as giddy the moment it touched my skin as the Dagsmejan Cardigan Robe (I literally squealed). It's made from micromodal fabric, a type of rayon popular in loungewear because it's breathable, stretchy, and cool. This robe feels luxurious and clingy in the best way, with slits to the knee that add to its flowy allure—this is the most I've ever felt like Olivia Crain from Haunting of Hill House. She has the best robe collection next to Tony Soprano. His were comfy, while hers were downright beautiful.
Dagsmejan has a few pajama lines, from which I also tried the recovery Sleep T-shirt ($100) and Sleep Shorts ($100) (also available in men's sizes). The company says these are made from materials that aid in muscle recovery. I can't say for sure whether that happened (my muscles don't get too much work, if we're being honest), but they were extremely cooling and comfortable and didn't get all tangled up while I tossed around in bed.
★ More loungewear: Dagsmejan is a bit pricey, but we have a loungewear guide with other options that would also make great gifts.
- Photograph: Lyric
If They Have Sore Muscles
Lyric MassagerMost of us can't afford, and frankly don't have the time, to get a relaxing massage every week or see a chiropractor. Massage guns (also called percussive devices) are a nice alternative. As a physical therapist we spoke to explained, they help increase blood flow and release histamines to the area being worked on. This in turn decreases soreness and releases knots.
We've tried a ton, including the super-expensive Theraguns. Any will make a good gift for someone in need, but the Lyric is the most aesthetically pleasing. Instead of an ugly plastic contraption, it's thin, matte, and genuinely pretty. More importantly, it works well, with a small screen on the handle that walks you through guided massages. It also comes with a handle extender to tackle those hard-to-reach areas.
★ Hand and eye massaging alternatives: LifePro makes another of our favorite massage guns, and the company even has a hand massager ($100) and an eye massager ($115). It's a little strange to put your hand into this contraption, but it actually feels great, using heat and acupressure to release tension. There are five massage modes and as many intensity levels. The eye mask utilizes the same acupressure, vibrations, and heat and includes Bluetooth if you want to play music while you relax. After a full day of typing away at a computer, I was quite happy to lie down while my eyes and hands got pampered.
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- Photograph: Dame
Another Kind of Massage
Dame Pom Flexible VibratorYou need to have a very specific relationship with someone to be able to gift them a sex toy, but spending quality time with yourself is quite relaxing.
We found many different options we liked, but WIRED writer Jess Grey calls the Dame Pom approachable, so newbies have nothing to be intimidated by. And importantly, it's great for all bodies and body parts. As Grey notes in her review, most sex toys are a motor wrapped in plastic with thin silicone over the whole thing; often it seems not much thought was given to the actual body that will use it. The Pom, on the other hand, conforms to your hands and body, thanks to its soft, pliable silicone. It's also powerful enough to stimulate properly even on its lowest setting.
★ A cheaper alternative: The Satisfyer Curvy 3+ ($42) is much cheaper but is still a WIRED favorite. It combines vibration and suction, which means it's as good for couples as it is for solo use.
- Photograph: LectroFan
If They Need to Sleep
LectroFan ClassicIf you don't sleep well at night, you aren't going to function well the next day. So if someone in your life is struggling, try gifting them a sound machine. There are many reasons why someone might have trouble sleeping, but this is a good place to start.
Sound machines help, in part, by providing a steady stream of relaxing sounds that block out those disrupting noises that cut through silence: a dripping faucet, a loud neighbor, a zooming cat. The LectroFan Classic is a WIRED staff favorite. It has 10 fan sounds, plus another 10 options that cycle through the spectrum of pink, brown, and white noise. (See our full guide for a note on what white noise actually is.) It also gets very loud, reaching 85 decibels.
★ A note on safety: Most people probably don't want a sound machine blaring that loud, but especially if you're giving it to a child, it's important to keep it quiet. As we note in our guide, the American Academy of Pediatrics says to consider 50 decibels a maximum volume and to place it more than 200 centimeters (6.5 feet) away from where kids sleep.
Photograph: WalmartBuild an Outdoor Oasis
Hammock with StandI have a hard time relaxing outside. It's too easy to think about all the bugs lying in wait to get me. That is, until I moved to an apartment with a balcony and bought a hammock; now I don't want to go inside. If you know someone with outdoor access, a hammock with a sturdy stand is a great gift for relaxing in the sun.
I have this one from Best Choice Products (also available from Target). It is usually only $80, and it's incredibly comfy—I've fallen asleep on it, despite overlooking a loud, busy road. I've only owned it a few months, but it has held up well even when two of us lie in it together. It's also super easy to put together alone. You can find more luxurious hammocks with pillows and cushions, too (this is similar to one my siblings and I gave my parents a few years ago). If you think your giftee would prefer a hammock that can be tied between two trees, you have your pick of options.
Photograph: AmazonFor Avian Enthusiasts
Bird Feeders and BathsWatching and listening to birds is my ideal relaxation activity. If someone on your list is always five minutes away from ditching it all to be like the Pigeon Lady in Home Alone 2, maybe get them a bird feeder. Depending on their setup, they can hang one in the backyard—this one comes with a bird bath ($16)—or you can opt for a window-mounted feeder ($29) so their friends can visit all the time.
If you have a feeder, a birding book is also useful. Your giftee might really like the new Field Guide to Dumb Birds of the Whole Stupid World ($16) or the older Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America ($12). Despite the title, author Matt Kracht thinks quite fondly of birds, but as he says, he keeps them at arm's length: “While I have enjoyed and been intrigued by watching and learning about birds,” he writes, "I have also learned to enjoy taking the little fuckers down a notch when I can.”
★ A note of caution: If you decide to give someone a feeder, make sure they're able to keep it clean. Disease and bacteria can transfer from bird to bird, often leading to fatal outcomes. And although people might think hummingbirds need red nectar, red dye is actually harmful. Just go for hummingbird feeders with red parts to attract them.
Photograph: Medea GiordanoHelp Them Find Their Inner Witch
Tarot DecksVenturing into the metaphysical world can be great for recentering. I typically book professional tarot sessions when I'm in the midst of a major dilemma. They can't tell you the future, but it gives you the tools to look at what's happening in a new light.
The classic Rider Waite Tarot Deck ($20) is beginner-friendly, and it is the one that most guidebooks tend to reference. However, there are a ton of beautiful decks that might fit your loved one's aesthetic more, like the stunning iconography on Uusi's Pagan Otherworlds Deck ($58). The Golden Thread Deck ($49) comes from the creator of our favorite tarot app. Pairing a deck with a tarot guidebook is another good option. I like The Modern Witchcraft Book of Tarot ($14).
Crystals make great gifts because they're beautiful to display, but try to find reputable shops in your area so you don't get scammed by overpriced look-alikes. However, you can find a ton of books online, like the affordable Crystals for Beginners ($9), as well as crystal decks. I like Crystals: The Stone Deck ($13) and Mystic Mondays Crystal Grid Deck ($22).
If they're into astrology, they might like a Zodiac Affirmation Deck ($45). Each deck comes with 100 cards tailored to that specific zodiac sign. Daily affirmations can help bring positivity into your life by way of manifestation—if you think it, you can make it happen. The company also sells day planners organized specifically around each sign, but we haven't tried those.
- Photograph: Amazon
If They Analyze Dreams
The Dreams Box: Tools for Harnessing the Power of the SubconsciousDreams are magical and mysterious. We fall asleep and a weird movie plays in our head? And sometimes it plays night after night? Sometimes dreams seem random and pointless, but they can also be affected by increased anxiety or isolation.
The Dreams Box breaks it all down. It comes with a deck of dream cards and a guidebook to interpreting, and even possibly controlling, your dreams. It's written in a way that's easy to understand, with beautiful illustrations sprinkled throughout the pages. If you have lots of vivid dreams, it might be interesting to try and figure out why. It was written by Fiona Starr, a clinical psychologist who has written a few other books on the topic.
- Photograph: Lovebox
For the One Who’s Far Away
Lovebox Color and PhotoSometimes when you're stressed or having a bout of anxiety, a hug and conversation from someone you love helps the most. Unfortunately, it's not always possible to have them with you at a moment's notice—the pandemic showed us that. There are a few products designed to keep two people close in ways that go beyond a text; most are nice, but expensive. I recently tried the Lovebox, and while it still isn't completely necessary, given the existence of cell phones, I think it could make a great gift to someone you really care about who occasionally needs your words of encouragement.
It's simple to use. Gift your loved one the box, and you, and anyone else they choose, can send messages from a free app directly to their Lovebox. When they have a message, the heart spins, and when they open the box, they can see a message on a screen inside. This model allows for texts, color photos, drawings, or stickers. For $20 less, there's a black-and-white version ($100) that can do everything but share photos. There are more expensive versions designed for parents, grandparents, or romantic partners, but we think either of the original ones works just fine.
Photograph: Getty ImagesUpgrade Bath Time
Bath AccessoriesThere's not much that beats a hot bath after a stressful day, but there are some things you can add to make the entire experience even more relaxing. Most are inexpensive, so you might put a few things together as a nice bath gift basket.
Bath pillows adhere to the tub with suction cups so you can relax your head comfortably as you soak. I have this pillow from Amazon ($25). It gives me adequate cushioning and easily hangs up afterward to dry, thanks to the included hook at the top. It's also machine washable. Although I haven't tried any others, there are more luxurious ones available. I also recommend adding a bath tray ($30) for holding drinks, phones, and tablets. Amazon has a ton of options.
Bubble bath and other soaks are also great. Many have added scents and skin-soothing ingredients. If there are boutiques or independent sellers near you that make homemade bath bombs, that's a nice way to support small businesses in the process. If not, I love Dr. Teal's, which you can find in nearly any grocery store, as well as Target, Walmart, and CVS. If you can spend a little more, Mixture's Spa Bubble Bath ($29) smells amazing and looks like a wine bottle. I've also tried and like Moon Bath's Bath Tea ($20) for decompressing. For moisturizing after a bath, Savannah Bee Company's Royal Jelly Body Butter ($30) smells and feels luxurious—there's a bunch of scents you can choose from.
Finally, the last step in making a bathroom a full spa oasis is to add candles and dim the lights. Throw a few white candles into your gift basket or opt for nice scents—we love Yankee Candles, DW Home, and Otherland.
- Photograph: Amazon
For Anxious Pets
PetFusion Calming Cuddler BedIf your dog or cat needs a relaxing gift, try this bed. I was already a fan of PetFusion products because they're thoughtfully designed and tend to hold up to the wear and tear that animals put them through. I'd never seen a bed like this before—it's made for kneading and burrowing, with a soft blanket-like cover that's bigger than the memory foam core it's protecting. Pets can relieve some stress and cuddle up.
There are two sizes available, and it should appeal to both cats and dogs, but that will depend on your specific pet. If you often find your animal burrowed underneath your blankets, they'd probably like this.
Photograph: HortiMore Relaxing Gift Ideas
Honorable MentionsNone of the previous products seem to cater to your gift list? We're also fans of the following items.
- Bed of Nails Acupressure Mat and Pillow for $120: You may have seen performers lie on pallets of actual nails—this isn't that. These mats use acupressure, which is similar to acupuncture but trades needles for plastic plates to create gentle pressure on your body that supposedly releases endorphins, those nice stress-relieving chemicals. It feels strangely great and relaxing.
- Horti Plant Gift Subscription for $120 (3-month subscription): Filling a space with greenery makes it feel more peaceful. If you can't bring your loved one a plant in person (or just don't know where to start), you can sign them up for a plant subscription for as many months as you choose. Horti sends a plant out each month, with a terra-cotta pot and puck of potting soil (a quick soak in water makes it usable). There are beginner plants, as well as pet-safe ones. Its gift option costs more but doesn't automatically renew. You can gift one month for $22, instead of the minimum three in the gift section, but just remember to cancel it. The non-gift options don't include shipping costs.
- Pura Smart Diffuser for $44: Like adding plants, fresh scents can make being at home more enjoyable. Pura gives you a whole lot more control than, say, a Glade plug-in. The diffuser holds two scent bottles, and an app lets you switch between them, customize how intense they are, set schedules, and even turn on a nightlight. Now all you have to do is figure out what scents your loved one likes.
- Core Meditation Trainer for $179: The price of this always makes me queasy, but I add it for those who can spend this much on a gift. You don't need anything to meditate except yourself, but this little orb helps the distracted among us focus on the task at hand. A companion app walks you through meditations, and vibrations show you exactly how you should be breathing. It's unnecessary, but I loved every minute of using it.
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