Work Text:
Riza remained lying flat on her back after jerking awake, hiding her face in her arm as she drew a shaky breath. There was something particularly nasty about tonight’s nightmares. In terms of content, it was the same as always. Ishval, the Promised Day — all were familiar demons she could swallow down and force herself to sleep in spite of — but not tonight.
The first thing that came to mind as the panic settled was to call Roy. He had told her to reach out to him if she ever needed anything when he first left to join the military all those years ago, and ever since the Promised Day, his offer was reaffirmed.
“Please don’t hesitate to tell me if you need anything,” he said to her the day they were discharged from the hospital. “Even if you just need someone to talk to, I’m always available. Day or night.”
She recalled the pleading look in his tired eyes. He has always been protective of her, but ever since both of them nearly lost their lives that terrible day, his determination to look out for her had become even more apparent. She would halfheartedly scold him for it, but after the night she was having, she was in need of some of that clingy protectiveness.
She stumbled out of bed and to her barren kitchen, the tiles icy and unwelcoming beneath her bare feet. Her hand gripped the phone’s receiver, but she found herself hesitating. To call him at such a late hour, it was unlike her. He would know something was wrong. The last thing she wanted was to worry him over something as silly as a bad dream.
Despite her reasoning, the thought of facing the horrors of the past alone in the dark pushed her to dial the number. With a clumsy and tingling hand, Riza brought the receiver to her ear. The kitchen was eerily silent as each tone dragged on for just a second too long. She became highly aware of her breathing and how ragged it sounded. Before she had time to steady it, a click.
Roy’s voice was thick with grogginess as he answered. “Hello?”
Riza straightened up. For some reason, her hands began to shake.
“Colonel, it’s me.”
“Lieutenant? Did something happen?”
A cold sweat broke out on her forehead and her body was wracked with an unexpected tremor. Her mouth opened, but no words came out. She leaned forward, clutching the corner of the table as a single distressed sigh escaped her lips.
“Lieutenant, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
His voice rapidly grew more urgent. She regretted calling him instantly. All she was managing to do was make him worry. Riza forced herself to speak before she could make things worse.
“I-it’s nothing. I’m sorry I woke you.”
“Are you sure?”
Her heart screamed to tell him everything right then, but she bit her tongue. This hesitation proved to be all the answer he needed.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Hang in there, okay?”
He hung up the phone before she could respond.
Feeling rather ill, she decided to make some tea in an attempt to calm herself down before he showed up. There was no point in trying to call him back — his mind was made up. She turned on the kitchen light and started a kettle.
Black Hayate stretched and yawned from his bed, nudging his master’s hand as she sat down at the table. The tips of her fingers barely brushed the top of the dog’s head as she rested her head on her arm and drifted into an uneasy doze.
A harsh knocking jolted her upright. Her stomach turned to ice and she was frozen in place until the second series of knocks brought her fully to her senses. Black Hayate took to barking relentlessly at the door, but backed up upon seeing Riza approach it. She cracked the door partway.
Roy was standing on her doormat, clothes disheveled and his overcoat crookedly buttoned, as if he dressed himself in the dark and as quickly as possible. His brows were furrowed but his eyes widened as soon as the door opened.
“Colonel, I —“
She was hugged tightly, sent wobbling back from the force of it. Several seconds passed for her to gather enough sense to return it.
“Don’t scare me like that,” he said, voice startling weak compared to how steady his body felt. “I was worried sick something happened.”
“Colonel. . . you didn’t have to. . .” was all she could managed to say.
“You expect me to fall back asleep after a call like that? You look like you haven’t slept in days.”
She tried to thank him for showing up, but felt suddenly faint. Her knees buckled without warning. Roy’s hold tightened just before she slipped. She dug her nails into his shoulder as she urged herself to stay conscious.
“Easy, easy,” he said calmly, though there was a startled hint in his tone. “Stay with me, now.”
Roy half-lead, half-carried Riza inside to have their privacy and not disturb her neighbors. He slumped just inside the door against the wall with her cradled in his arms.
“Tell me where it hurts, Lieutenant.”
“I’m fine. . . just a bit woozy,” she said, though it was unlikely he would believe her after collapsing like that. She was thankful being able to hide her face in his neck. The security of his coat collar concealed her embarrassment and brought her physically closer to him. An old wisp of cologne still stuck to the fabric, a familiar scent that has a history of soothing her.
She heard his quiet sigh as his hug over her stiffened. He gently rocked her back and forth as she clung to him, his cheek pressed to the side of her head.
“I’m so sorry, sir. . .” she began.
“There’s nothing to apologize for. I’m glad you called. You seemed out of it on the phone.”
“I can’t lie, sir. There’s a selfish part of me that’s glad you showed up at such an unreasonable hour.”
His soft laugh made her chest swell. “Now I know you’re not yourself.”
A shrill whistling interrupted them from the other room.
“The kettle, I forgot. . .” Riza said lamely.
“I’ll take care of it. Let’s just get you to the couch first.”
Riza felt his arm wrap securely around her torso while the other hooked her legs. She fell limply into him, her face half hidden in his shoulder as she loosely held the front of his shirt. If Roy had not carried her, she would have likely spent the night on the doormat.
Roy set her down carefully on the sofa. She felt the warmth of his coat being draped over her like a blanket.
“Try to warm up some. Your skin is like ice.”
His gaze lingered a moment as the back of his hand brushed the side of her face. She gave a small smile to which he returned, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“I’ll be right back,” he said. She watched his back as he disappeared into the kitchen to tend to the screaming kettle.
He returned a few minutes later with a steaming teacup in each hand. Now that the tea was taken care of, Roy asked her a question she was afraid to answer.
“Nobody calls in the middle of the night when everything’s fine,” he said, handing her a cup as he sat down next to her. “Especially not you, Hawkeye. Care to tell me what’s shaken you so badly?”
Riza did not immediately respond. She stared down at her cup as she gathered her thoughts, unsure how to tell him what happened. It seemed almost dumb to talk about. But this was Roy, she reminded herself. He would be the last person to dismiss this, or anything that troubled her, as something trivial or a waste of his time.
“I’ve been having trouble sleeping,” she said into her cup.
Roy watched her fixedly as she spoke, as if having waited for this moment the entire time. “Oh?”
She sipped on her tea as he waited for her to continue.
“I’m not sure if I want to go into more detail than that,” she added nervously.
Roy’s searching gaze pierced her for a long moment, a loose fist resting against his mouth as he attempted to see into her mind. Finally, he simply nodded. “I understand.”
All the emotions stirring inside Riza were expressed simply by a resigned sigh.
“Lieutenant, you’re trembling.”
She looked down at her hands. Sure enough, the insuppressible tremors caused miniature waves to form in her cup. Roy’s hands slid over both of hers, pressing them to ease their shaking.
“Would you like me to stay a bit longer?” he asked quietly.
As she met his kind and somber gaze, her eyes welled up against her will. Gentle and warm, his hand reached out for her face. He caressed her cheek, rubbing away the rogue tear below her eye with a careful thumb. She found herself leaning into his palm, relaxing at his touch.
“Get into bed while I clean up,” he said. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
She nodded again. Fear ebbed into simple exhaustion and she longed to curl up beneath her blanket, but was reluctant to pull away from the warmth of Roy’s side.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere,” he assured her. He paused, then gave her a gentle peck on the cheek. He quickly hid his face as he headed into the kitchen with the empty cups. Riza couldn’t help but grin to herself as her finger stroked the ghost of the kiss. Perhaps the call really was worthwhile.
Riza left her bedroom door open behind her to let the light from the other room pour in. Her bed was still a mess from her earlier tossing and turning, but she straightened it enough to at least be acceptable.
Roy entered her room moments later. Dark circles beneath his eyes, his exhaustion was starting to show, but he kept his focus on her regardless. He moved next to her on the bed as he stifled a yawn.
“Sorry, tea always makes me sleepy,” he said. “How are you feeling now? And please, be honest with me this time.”
“Part of me is scared to fall asleep, if I’m honest,” she said, wincing inwardly at her own words. “It’s dumb, I know, being kept up by a bad dream. . .”
“I could rub your shoulders for you,” he said. He seemed suddenly bashful at what he just suggested. “When you’ve done it for me. . . it really helped me calm down.”
She knew the instance he was referring to. He was newly a colonel back then. Worn out and unwell, he had spent several all-nighters preparing for an important meeting out west. When leaving the train station and they were finally alone, nerves got to him. She started to wordlessly massage the tension from his muscles as he huddled in a corner of the booth. He went from near blind panic to falling asleep within half an hour.
Riza smiled as he scooted in behind her. “I’m surprised you remembered.”
“Heh, well, it’s hard to forget something like that.”
He kissed lightly the ridge of her ear, more emboldened than last time. It was a delicate brush that nonetheless sent heat shooting to her face.
She moved forward so he could better sit behind her. Coat now folded in her lap, she idly toyed with the sleeve as he began to rub her shoulders. He started with small, light circles, gradually working to a harder push with his thumbs. Her head bowed forward as he went on. As he crossed over a particularly nasty knot, a groan forced its way from her lips.
“Sorry,” Roy murmured. “I’ve never seen anyone with such tight shoulders.”
The pain, though welcomed, was too intense to say anything. She could feel the tension stretching from her shoulder to the front of her chest like a taut rubber band.
As he lightened again, she felt like she was able to resume breathing. He proceeded to simply trace her back lightly with the tips of his fingers. She leaned back into his touch, finally beginning to feel at ease. She gradually lied all the way down, her tired head far too heavy to keep up now resting in Roy’s lap. Without a word, he began massaging her head. She savored every bit of his touch, longing to stay in that moment forever. It was almost like she had, for she drifted off before he had even finished.
Roy continued his light message even a few minutes after he was sure she had fallen asleep. He was relieved she had. The fear and pain she was going through. . . it made an anger dormant since the Promised Day come bubbling back to the surface.
As carefully as he could, he tucked Riza under the tossed sheets. She must have regained some consciousness, for she refused to let go of his arm. Smiling to himself, Roy pulled the blankets over the both of them as Riza clung to his shirt sleeve. She nuzzled the pillow in search of warmth.
“Nnn . . .Colonel?”
Apprehension laced her sleepy voice. Even this soon after falling asleep, she was unable to assure herself of his presence in her half formed nightmares. His heart stopped as a single tear ran down her pale cheek. He pulled her close, pressing a tender kiss to her tightly shut eye.
“I’m right here,” he whispered, cradling her back. “There’s nothing to worry about. Get some rest.”
Roy felt Riza fall into him, sound asleep almost instantly. That quiet reassurance was all she needed to feel safe in her surroundings. His arms remained wrapped over her as he kissed the top of her head. Her hair was a gentle kind of sweet, like a rose after the rain. She clung to his torso, groaning quietly as she nestled into him. He stayed close to her the whole night, quelling any of her trembling as she rested securely beneath his protective arms.