Please help! My father is cheating on my mother

Question: I am a 27-year-old man and it's been two years since I came to know about my father's extramarital affair. I came to know about it accidentally when he was talking on the phone. I cannot talk about my concern because I never had any issues with him since childhood. I mostly used to talk to my mother for everything and conversations with my father is rare and only when needed.
I cannot tell this to my mother because she is very emotional and I know how she would react.She would take emotional decisions. Due to various reasons, I resigned from my job three years ago and am preparing for an alternate career. I am moving on well with my preparations but once in a while, I get to see my father talking to his girlfriend and get disturbed and distracted for some days.So can you please suggest me how to proceed.-By Anonymous
Response by Kamna Chhibber: Navigating such a situation can be rather difficult for any child. Regardless of how old you may be the distress you would experience knowing this reality is understandable as is the dilemma that you face. It appears that you have chosen to not share this with your mother for the reasons shared by you which involve how it may impact her and her decisions may be very emotionally driven. Given this choice you have made, it puts you in the driving seat so to say as the burden of doing something or not doing something via a vis your father now falls on you.
You need to make a decision about your need to tackle this with your father and that starts by first deciding whether you want to even bring it up or not with him. If you are choosing to not bring it up then in your mind you need to create a mental distance from the activities he may be engaging in. This is going to be rather difficult though as it is likely that your mind may bring up this issue time and again, tempting you to ponder and perhaps do something for the situation. However, if you do not want to address it then your self-talk in such moments needs to be directed towards reminding yourself of the choice you have made and your reasons for doing so.
Trust yourself and the decision you have made. It would also be helpful that you confide in a friend so that when you do find yourself stuck with a particular thought you can utilize his or her help in getting yourself to move away from these ponderings. There is no right and wrong way to handle this situation. Trust yourself and go with what you feel may be right for you and your family currently.
Kamna Chhibber is the Head (Mental Health), Department of Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences at Fortis Healthcare