Doggo has a message!
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My dog thinks I'm a dick
Stop covering yourself with mayonnaise then
Jesus.!
He can't save you here.
Is mayo an instrument?
Yes I play it all the time
My dad said it was called a skin flute... I couldn't ever get it to make music though. All I managed to do was make dad pee foggy liquid stuff on my hands. :(
That escalated quickly.
Sure is! Mayonnaise? Unfortunately not.
Lmao I like this response
Because peanut butter works better....so I've heard.
My dog thinks I like being humped....and uh yeah I guess do
Right? My dogs just watch me say, "no, you can't have my food. You ate six hours ago" as I stuff my face with my eighth snack of the day at 3 in the afternoon. We all know I'm a hypocrite, but God dammit, you guys will be healthy, regardless of my mistakes!
My dog think I’m a cook, masseuse & groomer... 🙄
I don't know why you got down voted for that.
The emoji cause this is reddit
emoji bad!
That’s funny Bc I’m a little older and a newbie and that is THE FIRST THING my 21 year old son told me, don’t use emojis momma!
🙄
Emoji bad!
r/redditMoment this is so Keanu Chung is 100
My dog had a bone that he lost while wandering the house chewing on it. After a while he's laying on my bed and starts looking around for the bone. After a minute he looks at me, smells around my area, sits, and looks at me again. My dog thinks I'm a thief.
I’m the food giver, belly rub machine. It’s what she thinks I am, and I have achieved that.
It's fun being a philanthropist, and see others enjoy when you help them
Yeah, what’s the point of a dog if you’re trying to impress it? The best thing about dogs is the truly unconditional love. You can’t get that from humans. Like if I went on a killing spree, I’m comfortable with the fact that my partner would be disgusted and leave me, but it’s also kind of nice to know my dog would be right there with me.
I try, pupper, I try!
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It would have cost you $0 to not post that.
What’d he say?
My dog thinks im an asshole tho
No shortage of those in the world.
especially considering most people are born with one
Most? Might be in trouble if you're not.
4/5 doctors recommend having buttholes.
Comment deleted by user
My friends will get mad at me if I try to rub their bellies.
Get better friends
Exactly! I got fired from the preschool for this exact reason
Especially if you try the butt scratch.
I don’t have a dog help I can’t feel my legs
Use mine
Let's be real, my doggo knows all my secrets.. Kinda glad she can't talk tbh.
She loves you. She doesn't care.
I love you, too.
Wholesome Redditor
It strains credulity for me to believe that this dog possesses this level of penmanship. Probably 'shopped or staged.
Name checks out
The government wants you to think that he can't.
Thank you U/PhuckMeLongTime. Very sweet.
Glad I wasn’t the only one who noticed lmao
It gets worse when you click on their profile and see their wallpaper.
😏
Me: No one can be that good. We can only try. My dog: I wonder when that lazy hecker is going to get off Reddit and feed me... .. ........ hecking lazy hecker...
I guess I can share my peanut butter with a few more people...
I read this to my wife. Her first response "A pushover?"
I am the poop picker! No wait...
A provider of food and snacks?
Walking vending machine that sometimes forgets she’s under the covers so I squish her
I have a sign with that phrase on my wall. I do not have a dog. Suddenly the futility of life makes absolute sense. THERE IS NO DOG.
My dogs think I’m the baby talker that does funny dances in front of them, for the heck of it
Well my dog keeps humping my leg, but ok
A chronic masturbator?
Except the time you closed the
fridge bathroom cargarage door on him.My dog thinks I exist purely to take her down to the farm to run around the woods and chase rabbits and pheasants.
I can work with that.
Just a giant walking treat dispenser
Don't forget poop scooper.
I don't own a dog, does that mean I should disappear
So i should be a snack dispenser, gotcha
I have the cat version of this on a shirt!
This puppier will be the one to create world peace!
My dog probably thinks I'm a mess
I want to be the person my dog would be if he were a person.
I second this. Wouldn’t that be an amazing world to live in!
I would like to argue that that sets some VERY high expectations
Just found out today that my 7 year old morkie has an autoimmune and she’s never going to get better. We’re going to have to put her down and I’m devastated
Shane dawson looking at this 👁👄👁
What kinda pup? He looks exactly like mine, but I have a morkie!
Hey! That's what I have on my Twitter bio, I've had it for months now after my dog died.
My dog thinks I'm the only thing that can keep him safe when a thunder storm rolls threw and that's all I can ever ask for..
The lil smile!
This is just the sweetest cutest thing for me to see today ❤️
So I should always have cheese pockets...got it
Me: becomes a vending machine
Would be nice.
Me who don't have a dog
I have this on a hoody from Dogs Trust 😍
I'm already an asshole. What more do you want from me?
Look at that smile 😜😉
" Not the one your cat thinks you are" haha
What if my dog thinks I’m her personal belly scratcher?
So basically Adam from shuumatsu no valkyrie
Damn, now i need to get surgery to become a treat dispenser.
The things my dog has seen...
Amen to that!
I am the source of the treats and belly rubs... It's a humble existence...but I take it very seriously and quite enjoy it...
Be the person your dog knows you can be
Guess I gotta become a good lover and a master in bed then...
A food machine. Got it
Better than being the person your cat thinks you are!
Guess it’s time to quit my job and become a waiter. Also a massage therapist. It’s not my dream but hey, it’s my dog’s!
I don't have a dog, but i have 6 cats.
:3
So like..give people more food?
Omg ddead....so sweet
Good one
I am food machine
The guy who yells out names when someone tries to take a bite of pizza?
well i would but you see, there’s one little problem.
my dog died.
So give him headpats all day and feed him
A productive human
......
She sleeps a day and night
A piece of crap for tricking her by not throwing the ball
This is a good message.
What if my dog thinks I’m a piece of shit?
Mine thinks I'm a CHUMP.
NO ONE can be that good!
My dog thinks I’m a burglar everytime i enter the house sooo don’t mind if i do
https://i.imgur.com/tqOnYSq.jpg
Is that a aussiedoodle??
Bro imma just go sell some meth now ty dogo
Ha my dog probably thinks I am crazy..
If I was the person my dog thinks I am I would have the power to teleport small objects and make them disappear
My dog thinks I am dead
I don't have a dog
I try to be the person my rabbit thought I was. Does that count?
An asshole?
Check.
A person who picks up poop. Gotcha
Twitch streamers: good soldiers follow orders
um id have to know what my dog thinks i am
Awe I’m making this my wallpaper 🥰
I am the person my cat thinks i am. I that good?
So a food dispenser?
my dog thinks i'm the most annoying thing on the universe
My dog thinks I'm a... You know what, this is good advice.
Be a mom or dad that your child can be proud of. Good luck.
slave
Love this!
My dog thinks I’m going to give her my pizza
So basically a servant.
My dogs think im a doormat. Oddly enough, i tend to be one in real life too, so mission accomplished.
Why won’t it let me ward you Platinum?!?!
Is this account a bot?
Time to rape my dog now
my dogs dead.
My cat thinks I'm a big weird looking cat.
My dog thinks I'm a god damn pirate.
Aye fucking matey
I hope Michael Vick doesn’t see this... just saying.
What if your dog is only excited to see you when they know it’s time to eat?
Be the person your dog *knows* you are
Ohhh
Sadly, most people are the person their Cat thinks they are.
So I should walk around in my underwear everywhere while mindlessly scrolling reddit?
My dog thinks I'm Lazy though.. he'll be playing with a toy and ill be tossing a ball up and catching it. sometimes ill drop it and it rolls across the floor, he runs to get it. drops it at my feet and goes back to his toy.
I shall not let him down!
My dog thinks i am the person that gives him food
I wish i had a dog. Does an imaginary dog count?
My dog is afraid of me
I don't have a dog, so I shall cease to exist
My dog just thinks that I'm a major disappointment.
Bert Kuntz, is that you?
My dog things I am a food dispenser, door opener, and person who covers her up with a blanket on demand.
A chew toy
Magical!! I like to think they think that... magical
A piece of Shit?
He thinks Im also a dog his playmate all the time.
My dog constantly gives me disgusted looks because he thinks i'm stupid and a terrible driver, so i'm good,lol
"If you're ever feeling bad about yourself, maybe imagine how excited Arthur Weasley would be to meet you." -some rando on tumblr
I want one of these with a cat holding a sign that says "be the person your cat thinks you are".
My dog sees me as the carriage to the park, then ball thrower. So I guess I already am being who he thinks I am?
I let my dog down when she needed me most. I wasn't there at the end.
The postman? Oh shit!
I will never get my butt to smell as amazing as my dog thinks it does.
My rescue still treats me like an unpredictable serial killer 6 years of undying love and affection later.
But the idea is cute!
This hits me rn. I'm sad as shit that I can't have my dream job atm but this made me smile. Thank you :')
I don't have a dog. should I just.. not exist?
My dyslexic ass got all excited about seeing a dog get a back rub before I realized I misread the title.
🙌🙌🙌
So your telling me to be a asshole?
Ight time to be a prostitute
My dog thinks I’m a moron that intentionally puts away his toys and walks for only 30 min 🙆♀️
Aww it looks like my pupper Snickers. She’ the best!