I don’t watch Jeopardy! because it’s a depressing reminder that my knowledge base is completely one-dimensional and never came remotely close to evolving the way I thought it would when I was a kid. Quite literally, I can watch an entire episode as contestants tear through the board without personally knowing a single question (or is it answer?). I’m not even good at bar quizzo games. I have a degree in English literature and whenever something about books come up I just shrug my shoulders as my friends stare in disbelief at my fundamental lack of knowledge about…anything. Thanks, SparkNotes.

But good news. I would have nailed one question last night:

Suck it, Trebek.