A tube of toothpaste on colourful background
Toothpaste doesn’t belong on your genitals (Picture: Getty)

Public service announcement: toothpaste does not go on your genitals.

Don’t use it to cure erectile dysfunction, don’t use it to ‘tighten’ your vagina, just keep it away from the bedroom.

It seems that even in big 2020, we still have to remind people that the chemicals in toothpaste are not conducive to good sexual health.

This week on Reddit, male users have regaled followers with stories of how things went oh-so-wrong for them when they applied the minty product on their junk.

One user claimed that he’d used it as a lubricant which, in case our other stories haven’t drilled this in yet, is a Bad Idea.

‘I was in the shower and started jacking it caveman style with just my hand, using some shampoo as lube – but the thought occurred to me: “tingle” condoms are slightly minty,’ the person wrote.

‘This is where I f*cked up. I hastily put down the bottle of shampoo and picked up some toothpaste, and squirted a slug sized amount onto my battered dick.

‘I started stroking my cock in excitement – it felt good, kind of minty.

‘I continued for a few more minutes and there was a creeping sensation of pain (like friction burn) – so I thought it just means I need more toothpaste lube.

‘Another toothpaste slug is excreted onto my abused cock and I continued to jerk it. I got closer and closer to finishing but as I did the feeling of burning and pain also increased.’

Not one to quit, the poster continued until he finished, but the pain endured.

He thought the dull ache was just due to overzealous rubbing but the pain persisted for several days.

‘Now it wasn’t just a dull pain but also a stinging type of pain,’ he continued.

‘It hurt when I moved my legs. I sat down on my computer chair next to my PC and I tried to not move my legs.

‘Later that day when I went to use the toilet, when I took down my trousers I saw some discolouration to my dick, I had a look and all the skin was red and raw, with some parts of the skin beginning to scab.’

In case you haven’t guessed it by now, the user got chemical burns from the toothpaste, which is a mild abrasive. It has fine grit in it which can cause friction with the skin.

The conversation of toothpaste misuse has endured through the year, despite warnings not to use it on genitals.

Another poster wrote that he did it as part of a ‘dare’ with a woman on Snapchat.

After he lathered it all over, she quickly deleted him and he was left with a ‘stinging cock’.

Stuart Gale, chief pharmacist at the Oxford Online Pharmacy tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Somehow toothpaste has earned itself a reputation as a “secret weapon” when it comes to treating a variety of ailments.

‘These claims, along with this suggestion that it can somehow enhance male performance, are total nonsense.

‘In fact, toothpaste contains bleaching agents, peppermint oil, abrasives – all of which can irritate the skin causing redness and peeling. In extreme cases, it can even cause burns which is not something you want on your genitals!

‘My advice would be to keep the toothpaste for what it was intended – your teeth!

We also spoke to Dr Mark Lawton, a consultant at the British Association for Sexual Health & HIV, who definitely doesn’t recommend using toothpaste instead of lube.

He said: ‘We recommend people only use a silicone or water-based lubricant specifically designed for sex.

‘Other products, especially those not intended for sexual use could damage condoms and/or the skin, increasing risk of pregnancy and STIs.’

Please, pay attention.

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