Small Beans

Thank you, future patron! Yes, we can see the future. You want to join already, don't you? BTW, the future involves all your wildest comedy dreams coming true, this web page, and a modicum of patronage. If you're a fan, please, help us keep making stuff. If you're not a fan, check out all our free stuff and see if you might actually be a fan in not-a-fan-yet's clothing! THE SCOOP/POOP: Hello. My name is Michael Swaim. I and my associate in the trench coat here (AKA Abe &quot;AKA&quot; Epperson) make what the kids call &quot;content.&quot; We've retired from our long tenures at <a href="http://cracked.com">Cracked.com</a>, where we TORE SHIT UP for some 10 years apiece, and now we're rarin' to make some bold content moves that are sure to shift paradigms right to the edge of your butts! So hey, let's go nuts on each other. Let's share exclusive, behind-the-scenes looks at all of our upcoming content, which range from podcasts, to screenplays, to exclusive sketches and shorts. Please -- explore the page, and if you can spare it, consider supporting our efforts not to end up as bagboys at your local Trader Joe's. Not that we wouldn't be good at it, because we'd be GREAT. Bags all organized as hell, cold to drygoods, all that. &lt;3 Michael and Abe (and Pals!)

Free

A perfect membership for the cash-strapped bean. ALL Small Beans members are entitled to early access to content as well as exclusive shows available to patrons only. We hope you'll pitch in $5 if you're able, as that will give you access to 1Upsmanship, Star Trek: The Next Futurama, and Spielboys!, but if you can't spare the scratch, we got you for everything else.

The Triple Threat Society!

If you are looking for 1Upsmanship, Star Trek: The Next Futurama, or Spielboys!, this tier and above is you're looking for!Cool Beans are the only human beans with access to ALL Small Beans content. Aside from the early access and occasional bonus content available to all members, Cool Beans will enjoy access to occasional Beanus Content, available to Cool Beans ONLY.Enjoy all that SB has to offer! Free your soul, eh? Be a frijole.

The Cool Beans Club!

Oh me, oh my! It's time for you to show us yours! The "I'll Show You Mine If You Show Me Yours" podcast needs producers! And for ten spankerinos you can be the right bean for the job! By pledging to this tier, you'll get the community benefits of all lower tiers, but additionally: - the opportunity to pitch topics to Adam and Maggie! - the opportunity to vote exclusively on the topic of the month (shared only by other members of the tier)! - Bonus content from the show, including extra episodes! - Named in a producer section of the podcast every episode! Topic submissions will be via email. You can email us at any time 1 suggestion per month at <a href="mailto:magsandganz@gmail.com" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">magsandganz@gmail.com</a>. By doing so, you're submission will be voted on each month by you and members of this tier (ONLY).  The voting will occur on a monthly post that follows each episode.

"Show Me Yours" Producer

Formerly the "I'm Just Here For Off Hours" tier, so now that it's on hiatus feel free to depose yourself if you don't wanna BE A FRICKIN' KING. Those who remain will become our most cherished Patrons.  We'll try and find as many ways as we can to reward our KABs, but hopefully the greatest reward is knowing that you are genuinely making possible a whole swath of thoughtful, funny content that wouldn't otherwise exist. You kinda rule!

Kings Among Beans

Hey, we play video games sometimes, and sometimes we broadcast those times on the 1Upsmanship Twitch channel! If you want to go hog-wild with us on an online multiplayer game of your choice, while asking us anything you want and probably proving your gaming superiority over us, this is for that. Game with Michael and Adam of the 1Upsmanship podcast (and potential guests!) live on our stream for two hours, or longer if we're having hella-fun.  Limited to one Patron a month; first come, first served. Game must exist on a platform we have access to (PS4, Switch, XBOX One, PC) and be readily available for purchase.  It's more expensive than the Pick The Flick tier because we will presumably have to buy a few copies of the game you choose. NOTE: It is YOUR responsibility to reach out to us to start this process! Please email us at allthesmallbeans@gmail if you have elected to Stream With The Beans.

Choose your membership