An Exhaustingly Exhaustive List Of the Stuff You Need On Your Bed

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Graphic: Chelsea Stone

When I die (hopefully in my sleep as an old lady like the woman in Titanic), they’ll need a crane to dig my cold dead corpse out of the massive heap of blankets, pillows, and bedding that comprise my bed. I have put a lot of thought into how to make my bed, a.k.a. my favorite place on earth, as comfortable as possible, eventually settling on my personal bedding philosophy: “the more, the merrier.” When I’m in my bed, I want to be absolutely smothered by various soft fabrics.

Which is why I was utterly horrified when an innocent Slack conversation went awry with the disturbing revelation that all of my co-workers’ beds are bad.

Image for article titled An Exhaustingly Exhaustive List Of the Stuff You Need On Your Bed
Screenshot: Chelsea Stone
Image for article titled An Exhaustingly Exhaustive List Of the Stuff You Need On Your Bed
Screenshot: Chelsea Stone
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I was so unsettled by this interaction, by the fact that no one owned duvet covers, and some didn’t even own comforters <clutches pearls> that something had to be done. So I sat down, made a list of everything on my bed—the perfect bed—at any given time in order to educate the bed-challenged people whom I work with.

Consider any or all of the products below, add them to your bed immediately (uh, I assume you already have a mattress and a bed frame), and I promise you’ll find that you can barely get out of bed in the morning—but like, in a positive, non-depression-induced way.

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Mattress Protector

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The purpose of a mattress protector is to, uh, protect your mattress from its one natural foe: the bedbug. But also from fluids, dust mites, bacteria, and other gross things that may inevitably come into contact with something you’re sleeping on top of for 8 hours-ish every night for many years. I don’t want to know if you don’t have a mattress protector; just hang your head in shame and buy one now before something terrible happens.

Down Mattress Topper

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I did not own a mattress topper for a long, long time, mainly because I was pretty satisfied with my mattress’s comfort level, but then my mom sent me one as a gift (weird gift, I know). Guys. Everyone. Needs. A. Down. Mattress. Topper. Now my bed feels like a puffy soft cloud. It is the pinnacle of luxury. Yes, you can definitely get one for under $100, but imagine a world in which you splurged on this one bedding item, especially since you’ll be using it literally every night.

Sheets (Fitted and Top)

Brooklinen Luxe Core Sheet Set, $129
Brooklinen Luxe Core Sheet Set, $129
Graphic: Chelsea Stone
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This should go without saying, but if you’re one of those people who doesn’t use a top sheet, you’re wrong. People are gross, and sweaty, and covered in germs. Do you really want those germs touching your duvet cover (we’ll get there), which you wash less often than your sheets? No, you do not. Stop complaining about your top sheet getting all tangled up at night and just make your damn bed every once in a while. Sheesh!

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Comforter

Buffy Cloud Comforter, Full/Queen, $160
Buffy Cloud Comforter, Full/Queen, $160
Graphic: Chelsea Stone

There’s not much to say about comforters, except that you should have one. Comforters are cozy and good. A good comforter won’t make you too hot. I don’t care what season it is, crank up the AC and get snuggly under a comforter. We’re big fans of Buffy’s:

Buffy’s soft outer layer is made of a recycled microfiber, with a filling of natural eucalyptus fibers. It’s fluffy without being fussy, durable, and would do well both in and out of a duvet cover (I opted for in, because dog hair + white comforter = a pain in the ass). It’s anti-microbial, cruelty-free, and water-conservational. Plus, it’s machine washable and promises not to get all weird and clumpy like most washable comforters.

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Duvet Cover

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Now this is a contentious topic. I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would eschew a duvet cover for any reason other than sheer laziness. Duvets are like comforters 2.0. A duvet cover plus a comforter is much fluffier than, say, a regular blanket or a quilt, and you deserve fluff! Duvets also protect your comforter from any potential nastiness, and since they’re removable, they’re easier and less expensive to clean than trying to shove a whole comforter into your washing machine. Not using a duvet cover is like not using a pillowcase. Gross.

The other main draw of a duvet is that the cover becomes the true decorative centerpiece in any given bedroom. That doesn’t mean that your duvet needs to be, like, a loud orange print, or something. But it’s a great way to add some style to your sleeping quarters, and a relatively inexpensive way to change up the vibe of a room when you get a new one. This simple one from Parachute is really nice, or go bold with a patterned duvet from Urban Outfitters.

Pillows

Original Casper Pillow, $65
Original Casper Pillow, $65
Graphic: Chelsea Stone
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Everyone knows it’s important to have a good pillow. I say, it’s important to have two (2) good pillows. I get that there are space limitations if you happen to sleep in the same bed as someone, and if that’s the case for you, I’m very sorry, because you’re missing out on a life in which you have an excess of pillows.

Our readers voted Casper’s pillow as their all-time favorite in the Co-Op, and I tend to agree with them.

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Shams

If you have a duvet (and as we’ve previously established, you should have a duvet), that duvet probably also has an option to buy a matching set of shams. You should buy said shams, put them on a pair of less expensive pillows, and then congratulate yourself. You are officially an adult.

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Weighted Blanket

Bearaby Tree Napper, $249
Bearaby Tree Napper, $249
Image: Bearaby

We’re big weighted blanket fans here at The Inventory, and while some just use them for lounging on the couch, I’m a big fan of being gently crushed as I fall asleep.

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I will admit that at this point in your bed building journey, you might be feeling a tad too warm under your many blankets and pillows, but that’s no reason to give up the comfort and security of a weighted blanket. For hotter climates and summer months, I present to you the Bearaby Tree Napper. You’re welcome.

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Body Pillow

EnerPlex Never-Flat Body Pillow, $55
EnerPlex Never-Flat Body Pillow, $55
Graphic: Chelsea Stone

Let’s move on to the varieties of pillows you should have on hand for maximum comfort. First, a body pillow. I don’t know why, but it’s incredibly soothing to hug a body pillow while you sleep. Body pillows are also great to use as a buffer pillow between your regular pillow and your headboard to ensure that you don’t accidentally bump your noggin during the night.

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Reading Pillow

Urban Outfitters Amped Fleece Boo Pillow, $89
Urban Outfitters Amped Fleece Boo Pillow, $89
Image: Urban Outfitters
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I had no idea that these types of pillows were called reading pillows until I started writing this blog, probably because I never use this pillow when I’m reading. I really only use it for other in-bed activities like watching TV or working on my laptop—which I may or may not be doing right now. Who’s to say!

Peanut Pillow

Tempur-Pedic TEMPUR-All Purpose Pillow, $50
Tempur-Pedic TEMPUR-All Purpose Pillow, $50
Graphic: Chelsea Stone
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I impulse-bought this Tempur-Pedic pillow when it was on sale almost a year ago, but seriously, I don’t know how I ever lived without it. This peanut is the perfect size and shape for propping up your neck to (again) look at a TV or laptop screen, but if you have hip or lower back pain, it’s also great to put between your legs while you sleep to relieve pressure on your spine.