Dear Liz,
I had a job interview two weeks ago. I was interviewing for an administrative assistant job. I hit it off with the woman who was interviewing me. She's a lawyer. She's looking for someone to run her front office.
I haven't worked for a lawyer before but I know I can pick it up.
The lawyer asked me, "Do you have any more questions for me?" and I said, "Yes, I have one. Is this the kind of job where you leave the office and that's it, you're done, or is it the kind of job where you take it home mentally and think things over and make plans while you're at home? I ask because I have a lot going on in my personal life and if you need someone who's going to have their mind on your business when they're not here, I'm probably not the right person."
I was trying to be honest. The lawyer's tone changed immediately. She was still friendly but she said, "That's a great question. I only have one staff person in this office, apart from myself. I truly do need someone who is on top of things, and there are so many details to keep track of that I can't imagine how you could do it without thinking through your days and weeks for a few minutes before or after work."
So, that was it. The interview was over.
I want a job, Liz, but I don't want a job where I have to keep doing the job even after I've finished my work day. I've had too many jobs like that. I want to do my work, go home and be done with it.
What do you think about my situation? Is my request unreasonable? Was it fair of the lawyer to basically drop me like a hot potato just because I asked that one question?
Thanks Liz,
Tanya
Dear Tanya,
If the question feels reasonable to you, that's what matters.
However, most administrative assistant jobs require someone who's going to have altitude on their work. They're going to deal with the nuts and bolts in front of them at work every day, but they're also going to manage their role at a higher level.
They're going to think ahead and plan ahead. They're going to make sure they know what's coming up in their calendar, and they're going to be aware of changing situations around them. I think it was a good decision for you to ask the question you asked. You would not have liked the job if it didn't suit your life style and your obligations outside of work.
However, most if not all Knowledge Worker jobs require people to think through their work and their priorities for at least a few minutes every day. Most people feel calmer and more effective when they walk into work prepared for the day ahead. They already know what their day entails (that is, until something inevitably changes)! They already know their priorities.
There are jobs that don't require any mental attention at all when we are not at work. Fast food restaurants and retail jobs may work that way -- although I know plenty of restaurant and retail employees who also think about their work when they're at home. They think about their work to help themselves as much as to help their employers.
I encourage you to reconsider the idea that you must get a job that you can leave behind you 100% when you walk out of the office. Of course, I don't want you to work in a place where they have no respect for your personal time. I don't want you to work tons of unpaid overtime or for your manager to consider you infinitely reachable after hours.
Here is a simple spectrum of expectations. Which one of these levels works best for you?
Level 1 = When you leave your job, you don't think about it again until you're back at work.
Level 2 = You think about your job to make your job easier and to keep yourself calmer. In your mind, you may plan your upcoming day and week, or think about longer-term projects in order to manage them in the most effective way. You don't mind getting an occasional text or email that requires your immediate attention after hours, as long as the issue is truly urgent.
Level 3 = You not only think about your work when you're not at work, but you also respond to emails from home and sometimes take work home with you. By the same token, you sometimes attend to personal business when you're at work. The line between your working hours and your non-working hours is fairly fluid, but you set boundaries around your time to avoid burnout or being taken advantage of.
Level 4 = You seldom think about the line between your job and the rest of your life, because it works for you and your clients and/or manager. You work hard and treasure your personal time, but if there's work that needs to be done after hours you will do it. You take as much satisfaction in getting a jump on a big project (by making a project plan over the weekend, e.g.) as you do in planting your garden or taking a long bike ride. You do whatever needs to be done each day, and you don't stress about how your days and weeks are subdivided.
Level 5 = You are pretty much always at work or involved in your work. You respond to texts, emails and voice calls at all hours. You may do this because you think you have to, or because you want to. Either way, there is virtually no line at all between your work and the rest of your life. It may be because you're starting a business or stepping into a new role. It may be because your work is also your passion. Be sure to get enough sleep, rest, exercise and social time!
Level 6 = You work an unhealthy amount, and you know it. Your job owns you. This is not a healthy state for anyone, except in short bursts!
If you really feel that you need a job that you can drop completely when you leave work, then stick to your guns. I'm sure there are companies where they don't expect their office managers to take the job home with them, even mentally.
You have to do what feels right to you. However, don't get upset at hiring managers who make the same decision that lawyer made. You declared yourself, and that was a good thing to do. Likewise, the lawyer decided that you and she are not a good match -- at least not right now.
That's her prerogative. Don't get mad at her for speaking her truth, the same way you did!
Yours,
Liz
