omegafrisk:

((why? why’s it always a problem with me? why’s it always a problem with the trans person bristling with the injustice of having their identity sidelined again and again and AGAIN rather than the people who just don’t give enough of a shit about the struggles of trans people to call a character the correct fucking pronouns?

what will it take to get it through all your thick heads? it IS me. every damn day of my stupid life. it defines everything i’m doing right now, the thick jacket i bundle myself up in despite how hot it gets because i hate my body, the shitty little pronoun pendant that nobody ever notices that i feel naked without, the binder i wore for eleven hours today because fucking up my ribs is better than the screaming dysphoria i’d get otherwise, the visceral roiling in my guts whenever someone cheerfully calls me a polite term that is oh so very gendered, the months and months and months i had to spend fighting my hrt clinic to convince them i was trans enough for hormones because they have rows of little boxes to tick and i don’t fit any of them, the anxiety over what the hell i’m going to put on my passport when countries literally will not let me into their borders if i put an X in place of M or F, the fear of what bathroom i’m going to use when i’m misgendering myself either way and god knows what will happen when i might not look right to the people in either one. the rest of my life is going to be defined by outing myself to every tom dick and harry or dealing with the skull-rending dysphoria i’m going to get struck with otherwise!

this is not just fiction! this is my reality! my every day is defined by these same arguments people use to discredit the very characters that showed me identifying as nonbinary is even an option! oh but my pronouns are too inconvenient! oh but i look like a girl! oh but can’t i just call you whatever i want! oh but they isn’t a real pronoun! oh but oh but oh but i do not fucking matter to the vast majority of the world.

i don’t come home at the end of a nice day to a person who makes me feel a bit down because they don’t agree with my headcanons. i come home at the end of a day of my skin crawling because every person who lays eyes on me sees a young woman and i know it to someone reinforcing what the real world tells me again and again and again: that is how it will always be, and i can’t escape even in my cutesy little fantasy video game about friendship and love.

and if all of you would shut the fuck up and try to care about people like me for once in your lives i might catch a glimmer of the euphoria i used to feel about my gender again.))