Tweet This
With all the information and advice out there it’s easy to think success is a matter of finding the right information and just following through on execution; that success is all in our control. So when we don’t see things falling into place in our life - don’t feel we’re meeting our expectations for success - we can blame ourselves; we can think it must be our fault.
We can think we’ve missed something and spend our time looking for the right bit of information or strategy that we think will make all the difference. Enter anxiety. Or we can have a subtle just under the surface feeling that perhaps there’s something wrong with us; we’re the problem and maybe not capable of success. Enter shame.
The thing is, we’re forgetting that there are other factors besides having good information or the right 10 step strategy that go into creating success and successful people. And these things aren’t always under our control. But that’s ok. We can learn to work with them or appreciate the role they play in our journey.
Luck is involved
Although we may forget, it’s no secret that luck has played into the careers of many successful people. Yes, they have put in the work to be good at what they do, but also happened to be in the right place at the right time. For you at your job it might seem like a colleague is a superstar and has been promoted quickly. Perhaps it’s deserving from his/her talents, but in addition, perhaps also he/she was lucky enough to be hired at the right time by a manager who has taken them under his/her wing. That’s luck. Or that fully funded startup you keep comparing your own startup to just happened to meet someone in a powerful position who feels personally passionate about the venture and provided a leg up. That’s luck. And these things just aren’t in our control.
To take a different perspective we can also look at luck as things falling into place in a particular way to guide each person to where they belong. Maybe not getting what you want so badly right now - what you can’t seem to get no matter how much you do all the “right” things - is actually going to be to your benefit. What looks like misfortune now just might be a blessing. Maybe you’re meant to find your way to another firm where you’re able to excel and discover projects you love even more. Or your startup is meant to pivot and will end up being even more impactful than your original concept. Life works if you trust it to guide you to where you need to be. You can look back on your own life so far and see where this has been true for you in the past. And it’s also happening now.
Fit for who you are matters
There is a lot of talk about how anybody can do anything they put their mind to and work hard at. Perhaps this is true, but if what you’re working at isn’t a good fit for you and who you are (your personality, likes and dislikes, skills, talents etc.) it’s going to be a lot harder to be successful at it. Many successful people are successful in part because they’re in the right field for who they are and fostering what comes naturally to them. It’s more than just having the right information and applying it; it’s also having the right fit.
If you find yourself not succeeding the way you’d like in what you’re doing now, instead of thinking there must be something wrong with you and that you’re not capable of success, see how you might be meant to excel at something different. Reflect on your talents, interests and what comes naturally. There are things that are going to feel good and be in alignment with who you are. When we pursue careers doing things that are a good fit, success comes much easier. And we have a much more enjoyable time on the journey (which is arguably more important than the destination anyway). Who you are is not under your control. But what is in your control is doing work that is a good match for you. It’s not a lack of information or ability, but working against ourselves and our true nature that can pose a challenge. Honor who you are and you will uncover the successful person you were put on this earth to be.
It takes time
All the information and advice can have us think that as soon as we apply it we will have overnight success (or at least have it happen relatively quickly). This often isn’t realistic. I know you likely already know this, but we can all still be very impatient! So before you jump to the conclusion that things aren't and won't ever work out let this be a reminder that it takes time to build things - a company or your experience and career (even when you’re doing things that are a good fit for you). And just how long it takes is not usually under our control. Many successful people took a very long time to build what they have. And just like you, they had to feel their way through each step not really knowing what was going to happen in the future. If you can try to relax and just enjoy what you’re doing right now instead of being focused on how you’re not yet where you want to go you’ll feel a lot better. And the chances are you won’t burn out or give up before you reach your goal.
I also think it’s interesting to think about this: If you woke up tomorrow and actually were an overnight success - had everything you’re wanting for your business/career - would you be ready for it? Inside do you feel worthy of it, prepared for the responsibility, attention, leadership, what it would take to keep it up etc.? Often our honest answer is actually ‘No.’ There’s a ripening inside that’s taking place as we work towards what we want. When we see things this way we can trust and appreciate more the time that it's taking for things to unfold. You will get there and when it happens you’ll be ready for it.
