Archive of Our Own ^beta

     "Well, considering it's" - Eugene rolled over and cracked one eye open to peek at the alarm clock - "seven o'clock on a Saturday morning...yeah, I'm home.  Where else did you think I would be?  Wait - don't answer that."

     He heard Adam huff impatiently on the other end of the line.  "Good.  Come downstairs."

     "Are you here?  Now?  What's going on?"

     "Just come downstairs, all right?"  There was a click, and then silence.

     "Adam?  Adam!"  Eugene groaned as he set his phone back on the night stand.  Then he closed his eyes and rolled onto his back.  What could possibly be so important that Adam would be waking him up at this ungodly hour?  And on a weekend!  As he lay silently stewing in his bed, he was more than a little tempted to just pull the covers up over his head and go right back to sleep.  It would take him hardly any time at all to sink back into a deep, peaceful slumber.  But then his phone buzzed again.  And again.  He reached for it grudgingly, knowing that in doing so he was all but guaranteeing that Adam would, as usual, get his way in the end.

     Hurry up!  the message read.

     It's only been TWO minutes!  Eugene typed back furiously, glancing at the clock again.  Nevertheless, within the next five minutes, he had managed to rummage a pair of jeans and a clean t-shirt from his dresser, comb back his hair so that it fell in a lazy wave over his forehead, and brush his teeth.  He was feeling considerably more alert - not to mention more curious - by the time he stepped off the elevator and into his apartment building's little lobby.  "All right, Adam," he grumbled, squinting into the sunlight as he pushed through the glass doors that led out onto the sidewalk.  "This had better be go - whoa, mama!"  His jaw dropped at the sight that was waiting for him at the curb.  "Is that what I think it is?" he gasped.

     Adam draped an arm over the driver's seat of the sleek new convertible, and slid his sunglasses just far enough down his nose to be able to peer over the top of them at Eugene.  "I suppose that depends on what you think it is," he answered coolly.

     "Unless I am very much mistaken, this magnificent automobile is a brand new Sparky 221 roadster," said Eugene, as he stepped into the street to circle the car, admiring it from every possible angle like it was a priceless work of art.  "With the...sport trim...and a...midnight blue finish...?"  He stopped his breathless pacing and straightened, looking expectantly at Adam.  

     "Well it sure as hell isn't a Honda Accord."

     Eugene laughed.  "No, it sure isn't.  I can't believe I'm actually standing this close to one.  You know, I heard they can accelerate from zero to sixty in less than two seconds?  And they can go over six hundred miles on a single charge?  They've set all kinds of records."

     "The what?"

     "The dealer?"  Eugene repeated, opening his eyes and quirking one brow.  "Don't they usually insist on coming along for the test drive?  I can't believe they'd let one of these off the lot without a babysitter," he said, skimming his fingers almost lovingly along the dash.  

     "I'm not test driving it," said Adam, looking slightly peevish at the insinuation.  "It's mine."

     Eugene's hand froze in midair, and he looked over at Adam in disbelief.  "You're kidding me, right?"

     "Do I look like I'm kidding?"

     Eugene had to admit that he did not.  "But I thought the waiting list for these things was like two years long?" 

     Adam shrugged casually.  "Cogsworth managed to pull a few strings."

     "Waaaiiit a second," said Eugene, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.  "You're telling me Cogsworth bought this?  For you?"

     "Well...technically he bought it for the company," Adam admitted, some of his self-assured swagger slipping just a little.  "But the company will be mine in another six months, so..."

     "Good enough for me!" Eugene agreed cheerfully, settling back into his seat and resting a tanned forearm over the door.  "So where are we off to on this glorious morning?"

     "Nowhere in particular," said Adam, putting the car into gear.  "I figured we'd drive around town for a bit, and then maybe head down the coast so we can see what this thing can really do."

     "Sounds like a plan to me.  But can we make one stop first?"

     They made quite the entrance when they arrived at a busy local coffee shop a short time later.  Adam clicked the lock button on the remote twice as they stepped onto the sidewalk, eliciting a shrill beep beep! and ensuring that the few people who hadn't noticed them rolling up to the curb in the noiseless electric sports car got a good look at them now.  A few bystanders even raised their phones to take pictures.  Then Adam sauntered through the door with his head held high, looking neither left nor right to acknowledge the appreciative glances that were coming from every direction. 

      "Ladies."  Eugene tipped his head toward a trio of girls who were huddled around a small round table just inside the door, causing them to erupt in a fit of high-pitched giggles and as he and Adam walked past.

     "I didn't think blondes were your type," Adam remarked, pushing his sunglasses up onto the crown of his head as he stepped up to the register.

     "They're not, but I'm trying to be more open-minded.  Expand my horizons, you know?  You should give it a try some time," Eugene added, with a gentle elbow to Adam's side.   But his friend offered no more than a noncommittal grunt in response, which Eugene had long ago learned to recognize as Adam-speak for "Thanks for the suggestion, but no."  "Have it your way," he said with a sigh.  "But don't say I didn't warn you. Sooner or later, the endless parade of underfed models and wannabe movie stars will get old."

     "One large iced coffee, black," Adam said to the cashier, pointedly ignoring Eugene's sage advice.  "And one large chai tea latte." 

     "Name for the iced coffee?" the cashier asked, picking up a plastic cup and a marker.

     "Adam."

     "And for the latte?"

     "Eug -"

     "Rider!" Eugene interrupted loudly, pushing his way up to the register. He leaned an elbow on the counter and flashed the cashier his best devil-may-care grin.  "The name's Flynn Rider.  How's your day going..." - his eyes slid discreetly to her name tag - "...Alison?"

     Alison the cashier tried - and failed - to hide a smile.  "Not bad," she said coyly, as she scribbled "Flynn's" name on a second cup.

     Adam rolled his eyes.  "When are you going to drop the fake name thing?" he asked, once Alison had moved out of earshot.

      "I don't know," Eugene deadpanned.  "When are you going to lose the stupid man bun?" 

     "So is Cogsworth experiencing a delayed midlife crisis, or what?"  Eugene asked as he slid back into the passenger seat.  He raised his tea to his lips and smiled a little to himself when he saw that Alison's name and number were scrawled on the side of the cup.  "This bad boy seems just a tad flashy for his tastes."

     "Nah," said Adam.  Then he frowned to himself.  "Well, maybe. But the car's not part of it.  At least, I don't think.  He says it's some kind of PR thing."  

     "How does he figure?"

     "He says being the first company to own one will 'elevate our perception as a leader in cutting edge green technology,'"  Adam replied, in a terrible English accent that Eugene nevertheless immediately recognized as an attempt to mimic Cogsworth's square, somewhat sanctimonious affect.   "Or something like that."

     "Well for once, I like the way he's thinking.  In fact, if he really wants to make us look good, I think he should go out and buy a whole fleet of these."

     "That's the plan, actually.  Once he can get his hands on a few more of them, he wants the sales reps to start using them on client calls."  

      Adam's phone began to buzz loudly in the cup holder where it rested.  Eugene leaned over and peeked at the screen.  "Well speak of the devil," he said with a grin.  "Look who it is."  He picked up the phone to answer.

     "No wait, don't!"  Adam exclaimed.  But Eugene had already pressed the "answer" button. 

     "Cogsworth!  Splendid to hear from you, old chap!  Were your ears burning?  Because we were just talking about you!"

     "Eu-Eugene?"  Cogsworth stammered, sounding slightly flustered.  "Is that you?  Where is Adam?  Have you seen him?  Are you with him?"

     "Whoa, whoa, easy, Cogs.  Don't get yourself all wound up, it's bad for your blood pressure.   Adam is fine.  He's right here.  I only answered his phone for him because he's driv - hey!" Eugene cried, as Adam swatted the phone out of his hand, sending it tumbling onto the floor.  "What was that for?" he demanded, as he reached down to feel under his seat for the phone.

     "Cogsworth doesn't know I have the car, you idiot!"

     "What do you mean, he doesn't know?"

     "I snuck the keys from his office after he left yesterday!"

     "You were at the office later than Cogsworth?"

     Adam's phone began buzzing again from under Eugene's seat.  Adam muttered something under his breath that Eugene didn't quite catch, but other than that he gave no sign of acknowledging the call.  

     So Eugene leaned forward as far as his seat belt would allow and stretched his arm beneath the seat until his knuckles brushed against the smooth plastic casing of Adam's phone.  He used the tips of his fingers to slide the phone toward him until he could grasp it completely.  "Oh look, you've got a couple of text messages," he announced, sitting back and brushing some lint from the screen.  "Wait, no, actually they're for me."  He cleared his throat before reading:

       "'Eugene, what foolishness are the two of you involved in now?' 

       "'Never mind, I don't want to know.' 

       "'Atta boy, plausible deniability.  And that is why he's the COO, and we are but humble solar panel salesmen - for now, anyway.  Hang on, here comes another one: 

      "'Just tell Adam to call me at once.' 

      "'At once' is capitalized, by the way.  So you know he's serious."  He looked over at Adam.  "What do you want me to write back?"

     "Nothing!  Just leave it!" 

     "Well I can't just leave it after your little fit," Eugene protested.  "He'll know something is up." 

     Adam took one hand off the wheel to make a grab for the phone, and the car veered dangerously towards the oncoming traffic for a moment or two before he righted it.  "Then give it to me.  You can't even lie your way out of a speeding ticket."

     Eugene placed his free hand over his heart.  "You wound me," he said with mock hurt.  "I'm perfectly capable of coming up with a believable cover story.  Besides," he added primly, "you shouldn't text while driving.  It's unsafe."

     "We're about to be more than unsafe if Cogsworth figures out we took the car!"

     "I think it only fair to point out that you are the one who took the car," Eugene said reasonably.  "I, on the other hand, am merely an accessory after the fact.  At most."

     Adam lunged over the center console to make another play for the phone.  "Do you really think Cogsworth will give a f-"

     And that was when Eugene saw something looming ahead, out of the corner of his eye, that made his blood suddenly run cold.  "Adam, the road!" he shouted, gesturing frantically toward the windshield.