Archive of Our Own ^beta

Castiel walked into the room, dirty trench coat soaked in something Dean didn’t dare ask what. Cas stared at Dean for what seemed like a millennium.

“Hello, Dean,” the fallen angel said somberly. He then let out an enormous sob; something that sounded a bit like wailing to Dean. In letting out the sound, he heaved into himself and fell to the floor, clutching to himself all the while.

Before Dean could question what was wrong, Castiel removed the tattered, beige overcoat and turned his back. The gasp was out of Dean’s mouth before he knew it escaped. Standing in front of him, Cas was bleeding. Two large gashes in between the shoulder blades, the place where wings ought to be.

Cas could hardly process what was happening when Dean rushed from the room without a word. He returned just as quickly, however, with a medical kit the boys keep under the sink in the bunker for times like these.

“Now Cas, this might hurt a bit. I gotta fix you up.” Dean warned, his green eyes searched Castiel’s blue before Dean turned the newly fallen angel around.

Without a second pause, there was a stinging cool, met with a burning tugging in the wounds on Cas’s back. He could hardly register anything, except for the pain. The pain Cas felt was more intense than even his worst injuries as an Angel of The Lord. The ferocity of the pain was so new, so excruciating, that he didn’t know what to do except cry.

“Aw, man. Keep it together. We’ll figure it out. I’ll fix this. I promise you this, Cas, I will always be there to fix it. First, though, you gotta tell me what the hell happened.”

Cas sniffed back the snot pooling in his sinuses and tried to wipe the tears without wincing from the pain. He took a big breath, he could feel the tug of string in the skin in his back and thought about where to start. It’d only been a week since he had seen Dean and so much tragedy has occurred.

“Metatron.” Castiel almost hissed. His eyes narrowed at the name, The Scribe of God.

“What do you mean Metatron? He do this to you, Cas?” Dean worried.

“Yes, Dean. He stole my Grace to complete the last part of a spell to cast out all angels from Heaven. It worked, Dean. All of Heaven believes it to be my fault. My brothers and sisters...”

“Not another word. As soon as you are patched up, we are ganking that SOB. Got it, Cas?” the hunter stated, quite enraged. The anger made his face grow red and caused the freckles there to almost disappear.

“Yes, Dean. I got it,” said Cas, as he shook his head, obviously giving in. “There is more, Dean. My brothers and sisters, all of the angels in Heaven are looking for me. There is a price on my head, Dean. I am not prepared to get you killed for me. You see what one can do, and Clare was one in my garrison, she liked me. This is dangerous, even for you.” Cas warned, but he knew it was in vain. Dean would lay down his life for Cas as Cas has done a multitude of times for Dean. “I don’t want you rushing into this and getting hurt, I couldn’t live with myself.”

“And you think I’m just gunna sit on my ass and do nothing when you came in here bleeding? Fat chance, my friend. I’m going to find the winged bastard that did this to you and rip their throat out. That’s a little more my speed, Cas.” Dean explained, wiping the stitching he had just finished on Cas’s back.

“Dean, I..”

“Cas, this conversation is over. Now let’s get you to bed.”

~

Castiel looked around, slightly confused, at where Dean has steered him. The room was small, but orderly. Guns hung on the wall in a decorative fashion, and on the dresser were a few small photos. One was Dean with his mother, Mary. Cas always thought she was a beautiful woman inside and out, which is why he took it upon himself to be the angel watching over Dean like she told him when he was little. Castiel felt sorry when he heard Dean Winchester was in Hell, on the rack. He knew then and there that he had been neglecting his job that he bestowed upon himself. It took him months to find Dean, deep in the pit, laughing and smiling, faces not matching the gruesome torturing he was doing. Castiel put all that aside, because he needed to save the Righteous Man. He saved Dean because he owed it to Mary Winchester.

The other two photos included Sam, Dean, Bobby, Ellen, and Jo Harvelle, and the newer one held Cas and Kevin Tran. He remembered fondly of the day that picture was taken. Dean and Sam were arguing, as always, over whose turn it was to do the dishes. When Kevin volunteered, to end the bickering, Sam suggested a family photo. Even though to Dean it seemed out of the blue, Castiel understood that Sam had never had a family to stop him from fighting with Dean. An actual family. Dean begrudgingly obliged, and went to get the old 35 mm the Letters kept for research. Cas recalled Sam moved the furniture in the library so the photo looked ‘scholarly,' as Sam said. As Dean returned with the camera, he groaned about having it formally set up. In the end, however, Dean settled next to Cas on the bench, in between Sammy and Kevin. The color in both of their faces is still evident in the photo, they had just brushed hands and it was odd for the both of them. Cas shyly grinned at the memory.

“Dean, I do have my own room here. I can go there.” Cas started to argue.

“Not so fast big boy, I’m keeping you close. I can’t see you get hurt again. You’re going to be staying with me until we figure this mess out. Capische?”

“Yeah, Dean. I capische. Just to let you know, however, I get extremely defensive over blankets.” Cas joked.

“Well, that doesn’t matter because I’ll be up all night.” Dean justified, just to make it clear that he is wholly ready to give everything to this angel, this fallen angel, before him. Before Cas could protest, Dean gave his reason. “Cas, you have always watched out for me, regardless of the trouble I was in. Now it’s my turn to watch over you.”

Castiel was moved by his friend’s sentiment. He smiled at Dean earnestly, but that smile turned to a yawn rather quickly. Dean used the moment to untuck the covers and he patted the queen bed. Cas crossed the room and collapsed into the spot Dean made for him. It only took minutes and then Cas was snoring. Watching the sleeping ex-angel with a smile, Dean started to sing ‘Hey Jude’ just like his mom did for him when she was still alive.

“Hey Jude, don’t make it bad. Take a sad song, and make it better. Remember to let ‘im into your heart, then you can start to make it better.”

It was subconscious, really. The lyric change wasn’t meant to happen, he just wasn’t arguing with his heart. Dean Winchester had finally found someone other than his brother worth fighting for, worth caring for. So that was what he did, Dean cared for Cas for what seemed like weeks, cooped up in that bunker. Sam was with Jess, so it was just the two of them there.

~~~

After a week or two, Dean started to itch for a case. He longed to get out onto a hunt again. Even with this itch, he had to think about Cas’s safety. He was still debating wether or not to follow up on a lead Garth sent him when Cas made his announcement.

“Dean, I think I am ready to go out. To be a hunter. I know, without my Grace, I am not of much use. Keep in mind, however, I was a Warrior of Heaven for 2000 years. My hand to hand combat is rusty, but still deadly.”

This had honestly never occurred to Dean, even though he has seen the former angel fighting his way out of plenty of tight spots. Even in Purgatory, when he was fighting off monsters all on his own, it never occurred to Dean that Castiel was a Warrior of God.

“Uh, right. Well, Garth sent me this lead, if you wanna follow it.” Dean responded warily.

“I would love to. I know how much you want to get out too, Dean.” Cas volunteered.

“Thank you, Cas. So this lead is in Gladeview, Florida. People have been dying in their sleep, no apparent reason for it. Witnesses have described seeing the vic’s tossing and turning like they were having a bad dream, then suddenly go stiff like they are paralyzed. Sounds like our deal.”

“I think it is. Let’s go there now.” Cas raised his hand to Dean’s forehead and squinted. He pulled away and tried to do it again. When he failed the second time, Cas looked like he had been hit with a two by four. “I’m not sure why this isn’t working...” he stammered.

“You know, one in five men have that problem.” jerked Dean, with a smirk.

“Dean, I do not have performance issues. I can’t transport the way I would like. It seems that it was taken along with my Grace.” Castiel deduced.

“It looks like we are taking the Impala, then.” Dean concluded, with a large grin on his face. Dean loved his Baby more than anything. He took it apart and rebuilt her more times than he can count and has driven more miles than go around the world 75 times. Dean drove Baby everywhere he went. Part of the reason he drove everywhere was because Dean’s terrified of flying. He has flown once in his life and hummed AC/DC the whole flight, when they weren’t fighting a demon that is. Dean remembers back to when a demon was something so mystifying and hard to kill, terrifying. Lately, with the help of Ruby’s knife and the angels, killing demons had been easy.

The other reason Dean didn’t fly, Cas speculated, was because he was terrified to leave Baby alone. Other than Sam, she was the only constant thing in his life since his mom died. He protected her and cared for her. Dean kept Baby in tiptop shape. Partly because John would have killed him for not taking care of her, and partially because she was old and needed to be cared for. Cas only speculated this, never said it out loud, but it made perfect sense to him and he was content with this.

That night, the two men packed their bags, and set off in the Impala for Florida. Part of Dean was really excited to get back out and hunt, but part of him was terrified because he’s only ever hunted with Sam or John and Cas always had mojo. He was worried that he might get hurt trying to save Cas’s ass, or Cas might get hurt and Dean wouldn’t be able to get to him in time. All of these worries kept him awake enough to drive through the plains of Missouri at night with a sleeping ex-angel in the backseat.

When the sun started to come up, they were somewhere along the Mississippi River in either Missouri or Arkansas. That was when Cas started to stir. He groaned loudly and shot up in the backseat, slamming his head on the roof in the process. From what Dean could see, Cas was still wearing the trench coat and his hair was extremely disheveled. Cas let out a sigh, realizing where he was, and looked to Dean in the front seat. They caught each others eyes in the rearview and Cas’s cheeks flushed.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. How’d you sleep back there?” Dean joked.

“Horribly, thank you for asking. You’ve been driving for quite some time, Dean, would you like me to-”

“NO.” interjected Dean with ferocity. “I mean, I’d just prefer to drive her. Besides, do you even know how to drive?”

Cas rolled his eyes at the inquiry and stated simply “I was a celestial being. I had knowledge on the concepts of everything the universe, Dean. I am not daft.”

“I wasn’t implying you were, just didn’t know if you knew how to drive is all.” Dean mumbled.

They were quiet for about an hour after that, until Dean put on his favorite mix tape from high school. The tape had all the classics, which were the best in Dean’s opinion. Cas, on the other hand, did not care so much for rock n’ roll. Cas was ‘new aged’ in his music taste according to Dean. Cas learned during his time at the bunker that he really liked indie music. Dean gave him so much crap for it, but eventually broke down and made Cas a mix tape for the Impala. In typical Dean style, however, he titled the tape ‘Cas’s lame crap,' which evoked a lot of laughter from Cas. Even though they didn’t like the same music, they never made it personal.

Dean started to blast Bon Jovi’s ‘Dead or Alive’ and sang it out in the wrong key and way off timing. That is when Cas started to grumble. He did not want to be subjected to this torture.

“Dean, do you think you could possibly turn it down a bit? Possibly cool it on the singing too?” Cas asked as passively as he could manage.

“AND I WALK THESE STREETS-I'm sorry. You say somethin’ Cas?”

“I was just wondering if you could turn it down?” Castiel managed without jeering.

“Oh, sure.” Dean replied. “I didn’t know it was bothering you. Do you wanna come up here so we can talk?” suggested Dean.

Cas nodded and awkwardly climbed over the back of the seat and plopped into the passenger seat beside Dean. Looking down, he realized how rumpled he actually looked and decided to take off the dirty coat he had been wearing since Dean cleaned it last. Another two hours had gone by when Castiel noticed. He had an ache in his stomach, and his throat was desert dry. He quickly panicked, and Dean noticed how antsy he was.

“Dude, Cas, you okay? You look like you’re dying over there.” Dean pointed out. He was right. Castiel had never felt this kind of pain in his life. It was excruciating and he didn’t know how to handle it.

“I-I don’t know what’s wrong Dean, but I feel horrid,” the fallen angel stammered. “I have an awful pain in my stomach and my throat is burning.”

Dean knew immediately. He knew it was coming. He had kept Cas pretty well fed at the bunker, but since they had been on the road, Cas hadn’t eaten in almost two days. He was just hungry and thirsty.

“Aw, Cas. It’ll be okay. The next place we see, we will stop in and grab some food, okay? Maybe even some pie, too.”

Cas nodded and sighed. Being human took so much effort, he truly was not prepared for the intensity of humanity. The hunger was something he had a recollection of from the time Famine came rolling around, Jimmy Novak was hungry then. The thirst was entirely new. It was like his throat was yearning for something to flood it and cool it and when he tried to swallow pooled saliva, that made it worse. Castiel was not prepared for thirst.

Luckily the next place they saw was a little diner on the side of the road next to a gas station. To Dean, it looked like another run of the mill, out in the boonies diner. To Cas, however, the dive was a glistening palace that could give him everything he needed. Dean parked the Impala in a spot right in front. The two walked up a short ramp to the double doors that led into the joint. When they walked in, they grabbed a booth on the left front side of the narrow, old style diner. They settled into the red plastic and looked over the menu. Cas’s hungry eyes furiously scanned the entire menu about three times through, then the waitress came over.

“What can I get for you two boys?” she asked in a very plain New Orleans accent.

“I’ll have a cheeseburger and a slice of your pecan pie. Thanks.” stated Dean.

“And how about you, sweetie?” she asked Cas.

“I’ll have a cheeseburger, a plate of fries, and a coney dog without the onions. Please.” ordered Cas.

“Coming right up for you, boys.” she replied and left to put the order in.

Dean looked with shock at Cas, to which Cas just shrugged. He had already gone through his first glass of water, and they had only been seated a few minutes. Castiel looked to the waitress who rushed over to fill up his cup. He gulped it down within seconds, and slammed the cup down quickly. Dean looked at him with wide eyes, quite surprised because he had never seen his friend so desperate for anything.

“Slow down there, killer. You’re going to make yourself sick and you’ll have to piss worse than a racehorse.” Dean joked.

“I’m parched, Dean. I never knew how thirsty humans got.” He said the word like it was foreign to his tongue. Dean’s smile widened at that statement, which caused Cas to get irritated. “I never have had to deal with this before, do not make fun of me for having a new experience.” Cas warned.

Dean held up the universal ‘forgive me’ hands, and rolled his eyes. Dean probably should get some coffee in Cas before he stabs himself with a fork. The next time the waitress came around, Dean made sure to order Cas’ coffee just the way he liked it, half a cream and two sugars.

“Know what, Cas? I understand completely what you mean.” Dean offered thoughtfully. Cas looked at him strangely before he continued again. “When we got blasted into Purgatory, I had no clue what I was doing and I had no idea the kind of torture my body would endure. You aren’t going through this alone, and there are things I can do to help your transition into humanity. You don’t have to be alone.”

Cas thought about what his friend had said and then nodded. “Thank you, Dean. I appreciate your offer. You are very kind.”

Dean looked down when he felt his face heat up. At that moment, the waitress came back carrying most of the food they had ordered. Dean smiled wide as he watched Cas devour his burger, and start to attack his fries. Dean started on his own burger. Cas had finished the cheeseburger and most of the fries when he started on the coney dog. Dean wasn’t prepared for the effect his body turned out when he watched Cas. He wouldn’t mention it to anyone, but the discomfort he felt was more than pleasant. ‘Stop it, man. He’s your best friend,’ Dean scolded himself thoughtfully. He was brought out of his haze when Cas yelped and squirmed in his seat. Dean looked up to see that the fallen angel had spilled hot coffee down the front of himself.

When Dean took it all in, he laughed with his whole body. Cas frowned and looked down at himself. The blue tie that, even though Dean kept fixing it, was still tied backwards was drenched in hot brown liquid. It didn’t stop there, either. It had spread to the white shirt and the suit coat that Castiel was wearing. Cas felt miserable. All he wanted was a cup of coffee and he was now uncomfortably damp.

“Looks like we’re gonna have to get you some new clothes, Cas.” Dean suggested. Cas looked down at himself once more and nodded. He wouldn’t mind a change. These clothes were Jimmy’s and since Jimmy has been gone for so long, Cas felt like he needed something that suited him more. Dean handed him napkins to mop up the spill a bit, and he took them happily. He didn’t like feeling soaked in coffee.

~~~

The two men walked into the store and looked around. Castiel glanced over the store before he finally walked over to the plaid section. Dean smiled to himself and followed the trench coated man. Cas picked up a green shirt and held it up to himself. He looked at Dean expectingly. Dean laughed and nodded his head.

“Yeah, looks good Cas.” Dean affirmed. He picked up a couple pairs of pants while he was at it so Cas would have more to try on. While Dean watched, Cas picked up several more green shirts, all varying shades of the color. This struck Dean as a little odd. “Is green your favorite color, Cas?” he questioned.

“It is. It was the only color I saw in Hell besides red. It gives me hope.” Cas explained. Dean was stunned speechless for a few moments. He collected his thoughts and started over to the dressing room. He held open the door for the fallen angel and handed him the pants.

It took about five minutes for Cas to come out of the room, clad in green plaid and light wash jeans. Dean had to admit, he looked more like a hunter than he ever did in that trench coat of his. Although, Dean would never want to get rid of the coat he had grown to love over the last five years. He’ll have to clean it up once they get to a Laundromat, but it will be worth it. Cas did a little spin, and Dean thought he’d have to cut the amount of chick flicks Cas watched from now on. Cas held out his hands as if to say ‘how do I look’ and Dean smiled proudly.

“You look like a Winchester, Cas. Now all you need is a leather jacket and you’ll be a part of the club.” Dean joked. Cas smiled fondly at the suggestion and went back into the dressing room. He tried on a couple more outfits, but Dean’s favorite one was a blue plaid shirt and dark wash jeans. Dean thought the shirt brought out the blue of Cas’s eyes. He started to imagine Cas padding around the bunker in socks and that outfit, he grinned widely. He quickly shook it out of his mind, however. Cas finished in the dressing room and put his old clothes back on. The pair went to the register with the clothes that Cas fit into and liked. The cashier looked slightly confused when Cas placed seven plaid shirts, seven t-shirts, and three pairs of jeans on the counter. After they had paid, they said thanks to the cashier and left the store. It was only then that Dean thought maybe Cas didn’t have all the essentials, like underwear. He pulled over at a convenience store, and came out with a small bag containing three packages of white boxer briefs.

“All right, let’s get to this hunt.” Dean said. They had stalled too long already.

Cas nodded in agreement. He was ready to get to work. The drive took another twelve hours, but when they crossed into Gladeview, the two let out a collective sigh of relief. Dean drove until he found the only motel in the small town, The Sunny Inn. The two men walked into the office of the inn, and rang the bell on the desk. A small blonde girl ran up to the desk and yelled “MOMMY!” A couple of seconds later, an attractive brunette, with blue eyes, Dean noticed, walked out.

“Hi there, my name is Annie. You two need a room?” she said sweetly.

Dean stuttered his reply, “Y-yes we do, ma’am.”

“Alrightie! Two beds or,” she glanced down then from Dean to Cas then back to Dean, “one?” Her tone was unsure and hesitant. She bit her lip in discomfort.

Dean looked at Cas quickly, and even though it wasn’t what he wanted, he told the pretty girl behind the desk that they would take two beds that night. They paid with a fake credit card and took the keys from the woman. She bid them goodnight and flashed a smile at Dean. With a wink she whispered “I’ll be in room 1 all night. Knock three times.” Then she was gone.

Dean was used to this. Pretty ladies and motel sex. What he wasn’t used to was not wanting to indulge in it. It had been so long since he had slept with anyone, and this was his prime opportunity. He didn’t want to go to her room tonight. This caused Dean to panic and pace the room while Cas put the bags down.

“What is wrong, Dean?” Cas inquired. “Are you going to have sex with Annie tonight?”

Dean was jostled with the frankness Cas presented, but quickly shook his head. “No, Cas. I’m not going to sleep with her. Doesn’t feel right, for some reason. It feels wrong.”

“Is this because you have feelings for someone else?” Cas implied.

“Like who, Cas? I haven’t seen a woman who isn’t Charlie, and there’s no feelings there. She’s like my sister.” Dean refuted, confused.

“Maybe it’s not a woman then, Dean. Have you ever thought of a man in another light?”

“I-what, Cas! Are you suggesting that I’m gay?” Dean accused angrily, yet memories of teenage years behind schools exploring the mouths of girls and boys alike came flooding back to him.

Cas replied very blatantly. “Sexuality is not straight and gay, it is fluid and changes sometimes. There are grey areas and until one explores them, one does not know.”

Dean thought about this for a moment, he supposed he knew that. Then he thought about Cas, his best friend of five years. Cas was the only one besides Sammy that Dean would die for, and Dean knows Cas would do the same, has done the same for him. Not to mention the joy that floods him when he sees Cas. The dreams he has.

“How about you, Cas?” Dean almost whispered. “Have you ever thought about a man? I mean, I know you had that thing with Meg, that I still don’t get by the way, but have you?”

Dean stared at the ex-angel for what seemed like ages before the man replied. “Yes, Dean. I have. Haven’t you noticed?”

Dean was too stunned to say or do anything for several moments. He swallowed what seemed like a boulder in his throat, and slowly started to shake his head.

“Noticed?” Dean said shyly. He had an idea of what Cas meant, but was worried that he was out in left field with it.

“Yes, Dean.” The fallen angel said again. “Haven’t you noticed I’ve thought of you? Quite fondly over the years, in fact.”

His eyes never left Castiel’s, the two men looked at each other and started to understand. Dean considered Cas part of the family, hell, Cas was his family. There was just more under the surface that Dean was too scared to approach. Cas, apparently, had no mis-allusions about how he felt about Dean, but he was stunned to find out Dean hadn’t picked up on any of his hints. Especially the handprint burned into Dean’s arm. It was a brand from Castiel: Mine.

Neither man moved as the realization flooded in. Dean had no clue how to react to this situation. He had been with many women, that was no lie. Having this many feelings for a man, his friend, no less, was entirely shocking, and incredibly new. Dean had thought his days in high school were just for fun, that the attraction he felt towards men would dissipate when he got older. He was apparently wrong in that respect.

Cas had no clue how to handle the situation either. He had never felt attraction to any being, angelic or mortal or otherwise, nor had he intense feelings about another person until Dean. The closest he had come was with Meg, and that had led to some terrible misconstrued intentions on Meg’s behalf. When he referred to the Pizza Man as a good memory, he was thinking back to the first time he saw the Pizza Man and his bodily reaction to it. He had no intention of leading her on, since he has always only had affection for Dean.

Castiel took a breath, and looking earnestly at Dean, he started his story. “Your mother used to tell you angels were watching over you.” It was a statement more than a question, but Dean nodded anyway. “She was a very faithful woman, and she used to pray, when she was pregnant with you, that an angel would always be watching over you, keeping you safe. That was when we met, and when I knew I would always be faithful to you. Back then, I did not know of my brothers plans to restart their fight. I didn’t know that your brother had already been claimed by Azazel. I did not know you were the Righteous Man I had always heard stories about.” Cas closed his eyes in remembrance. “I was always watching, always there. When you got taken into Hell, I was outraged. I went in right after you did. It was so hard to find you, Dean. It was like looking for light but all I could find was flickering candles. I saw so much pain and anguish and I kept going right past it, fighting the Knights all the way.” Dean could see it in his head, they already knew one mighty Knight of Hell, Abaddon. “I never gave up, in those forty years fighting through the Pit, I never lost faith that I would find you. When I finally saw your eyes, they were my guiding sight. My beacon in the night. The light in the dark. That is when I pulled you from the Rack, Alistair raging and fighting me all the while.” Dean cringed at the mention of his name. That was a nightmare Dean remembered all too well.

“When we finally reached Earth, I let out a great cry that the Righteous Man, Dean Winchester, had been saved. I was so overjoyed that I forgot humans have very little capacity to see angels in our true form. I destroyed a liquor store trying to introduce myself.” Cas chuckled at that memory, and Dean grinned thoughtfully. That was when he didn’t know about angels and God and the war in Heaven. Simpler times.

“Seems to me you did an excellent job the second time around.” Dean recalled. “I’m sorry for stabbing you that night. Didn’t know-” he cut off. The two men just looked at each other and understood. Dean was scared and Cas was frighteningly stunning and there was a lot of confusion for both parties in those early days.

“I was never angry over that. I completely understood your fear.” Cas replied calmly, with a slight upturn of the corner of his mouth. He looked at Dean earnestly again, and for a brief moment, Castiel felt happier than he ever had in his entire existence. That moment ended with the shrill ring of Dean’s cell phone. Dean checked to see who would be calling at this time of night.

Caller ID: Garth

Dean sighed, but answered anyway, “Garth, man, what’s up that couldn’t wait till I got my four hours?” His complaints got him a look from Cas, who stood over the bed furthest from the window.

Garth started to tell Dean about a new murder on the case, and how he might have an idea as to what it is. Dean, being impatient as ever, started to blurt out things like ‘don’t leave me hanging’ and ‘you’re killing me, here’. Garth, however, picked up the not so subtle hint and explained, “It sounds like it could be a nightmare.” Dean scoffed into the telephone he was holding between his ear and his shoulder, unlacing his boots. “I know it sounds silly Dean, but these things are actually terrifying. They come in the night, give you horrid dreams, paralyze you, then sit on your chest until you can’t breathe anymore. And that’s what’s been going on, I think,” said Garth, hopefully.

Dean could remember the days that Garth started to take over Bobby’s position as Hunter Book-keeper. Dean was pretty obvious that he was against the whole ‘replacement Bobby’ thing, but he’d gotten to be grateful to have someone similar to Bobby in the position. It also meant he didn’t have to do it.

“All right, thanks Garth. You’re the man,” said Dean as he hung up the phone. He threw the phone on the bed and untied his other boot, setting it beside the other one at the end of the bed. Then he looked up to find Cas standing awkwardly at the end of the other bed in the room, obviously feeling displeased at the thought of sleeping in a motel. Dean, sensing his unease, tried to put a cap on it. “Look, man, I know it ain’t peachy, but this is what works on a case, and pretty soon we’ll be back in our comfy, clean, beds at the bunker.” Dean sighed.

Cas shook his head, then smiled lightly. He then walked to the right side of the bed and gently removed the entire comforter and left it crumpled at the foot of the bed. Dean chuckled lightheartedly at the sight and did the same himself. They each settled awkwardly into each bed, and Dean felt a stare on the side of his face. He turned his head to meet Cas’ eyes. A warm feeling sparked through Dean as he laid there, across a three foot gap, with Cas.

He cleared his throat and broke the eye contact after about thirty seconds of that mushy, happy chick flick silliness. Dean didn’t do chick flick moments. Yet, he’d been spending a lot of time thinking about those blue eyes that he could sink in, and that just-messy-enough-to-look-hot hair. He shook his head of the thought and flopped over with a sound that sounded a lot like Scrooge on Christmas. Cas rolled his eyes because he knew Dean would do that, it was too typical of him. Cas followed suit soon after and the motel room filled with the sound of their light snores.

~

Dean woke with a slow, startling realization of what had happened the previous night. He wasn’t mad about the way the events churned out either. Cas knew every little bit of him, and Dean hoped Cas would start to be more open with him about the way he felt. After a few moments, Dean realized he fell asleep in his jeans. That was something he hadn’t done since they’d moved into the bunker. He never realized just how uncomfortable it actually was. He slowly sat up, looked over at Cas, who was still sleeping peacefully, and got out of bed. Dean walked his way over to the cramped, musky bathroom. He shut the door behind him quietly, stripped himself of the clothes he was wearing the day previous, and turned on the water. The shower’s pressure wasn’t near as good as the shower back at the bunker. The water was hot enough to melt away the stress that Dean had been harboring since Cas showed up, bloody and torn, at the bunker.

When he walked out of the bathroom, clad in two towels, holding his bundled clothes, he was surprised to find Cas awake. Awake didn’t mean out of bed or happy, however. Dean was used to this. Human Cas was very grumpy in the mornings until he got his coffee, which Dean secretly found endearing. His hair was a wreck, he still wore the trench coat that Dean made sure to clean for him, and he had drool dried on his cheek. Dean laughed at him and Cas grunted in return. Luckily they had a small coffee maker in the room with two complimentary single cup coffee packs. ‘Nice’, Dean thought, ‘skeevy motels have stepped it up a notch’. He made a cup for Cas first, then one for himself. It felt good to get some caffeine in him, and in Cas.

After the coffee, Cas’ mood began to lighten. They both dressed in suits for the start of the day, they were going to interview today and needed to look as official as they could. Dean had always seen Cas wearing a suit, but something changed and Dean actually saw him. Dean was stunned speechless, like the time Cas cleaned up when they got out of Purgatory. He cleared his throat and grinned a bit. Cas, knowing slightly the effect he had on Dean, smiled outright, looking and feeling proud. He shot Dean another look and walked to the door.

“Are you ready to go, Dean?” Cas questioned.

Dean, so distracted by the look of his fallen-angel-best-friend and by that man saying his name, forgot there was a question in the words Cas said. He shook his head to clear it and stood up quickly to follow Cas out of the room. They walked in silence to the Impala and Dean drove the short distance to the police station with the windows down, blaring Metallica.

As the pair walked into the police station, they were surrounded by chaos. There were reporters all over, all yelling in one direction. Dean suspected this was where they needed to be so he started flashing his badge-of-the-day, which was FBI Agent Paul Coulson. He recently had to have it redone because of the success of The Avengers movie and the TV spin-off he had DVR’d at the bunker. The two walked over to who he suspected to be in charge, US Marshal Mathers, as they later found out. He gave them details they already knew, but he also told the pair that all of victims had been friends with a woman, Amy, who lived on a farm a couple miles away. The Marshal gave Dean directions and the men set off to the farm.

Dean got out of the Impala and waited for Cas to follow him. When Cas didn’t immediately get out of the car, Dean walked over to passenger side door. Dean gave Cas a long look and he sighed heavily.

“Dean, doesn’t any of this strike you as odd? She lives on a farm, people she knew died, and the police don’t have her in custody.” Cas worried. He was rubbing his index finger along the length of his thumb the way he does when he’s anxious.

“To be fair, Cas. The police don’t know this creep show deals with a horse. That might be part of the reason she’s out here still.” Dean said reassuringly.

~~~

Cas only nodded and undid his seat belt. Dean opened the door for him and took him by the arm. Dean gave him a look as if to say ‘you’re all right with me’. Cas took a deep breath at that and smiled warily. Dean sighed and kept walking up Amy’s porch, right to her door. He knocked on the white wooden door, shut the screen door, and waited. Soon, a short and colorful woman appeared at the door.

“Hi, how can I help you boys?” she asked in a southern drawl, her voice thick from crying.

“Hi there, ma’am. I am Agent Coulson and this is my partner, Agent Rodgers. We’re here to ask some questions about some deaths that occurred recently. You are Amy, correct?” Dean stated as if he was the actual professional he was pretending to be. The woman nodded, sobbed, then opened the door to the men.

“C’mon in.” she cried. “This is about the book club, right?”

Dean and Cas looked at each other with puzzled looks. Dean spoke with the question they both obviously had. “You and the victims were in a book club?”

The woman nodded and blew her nose loudly into a tissue that looked like it had been used forty times over. Cas tried to hide his disgust, but Dean decided to let his face show how grossed-out he was. She got the clue and threw away the used kleenex, but quickly grabbed another, putting it to good use. “We were all in a book club, yes. There is only two of us left now. My sister and I.” She glanced up, as if her sister was up there.

“Is she here? Can we talk to her?” Dean questioned hurriedly. He was beginning to think that maybe Amy wasn’t the one they were looking for. She nodded and went to the foot of the stairs.

“Kristine! Some Agents are here to speak about the book club!” Amy called up to the other woman. A couple of seconds later, a blonde woman came to the top of the stairs. Dean didn’t think she looked very dangerous, but he could see from where he was standing that her eyes were dry.

“I’m coming down. What can I do for you two?” She questioned at Dean and Cas.

Dean nodded as she made it down to their level. “Yes, ma’am. We have some questions regarding the mysterious deaths recently.” He cleared is throat and pulled pictures out of a manilla folder, one photograph of each victim. Dean lead the group back to the kitchen, where he then laid out all of the photos for the women to see. He started again, “Kristine, you knew these people well? Do you know if they had any enemies or someone who would want to hurt them in any way?”

She responded with a shake of her head. “I actually didn’t know them outside of book club. Amy brought us all together because of our love for complex analysis of books, movies, and television shows. That is basically the extent of any of our relationships, besides that of my sister and I. I knew them based of how fast they read or how kick-ass they could analyze. Sorry I can’t be of more help,” she finished and retreated back up the stairs.

Cas gave Dean a look and quickly left the room.

Dean looked at Amy with wondering eyes. Amy shook her head in return, mournfully.

"She's been doing that to anyone who asks about any of them. We saw them weekly and I thought that we were all close friends. She paints a very different picture. It's almost like she's still mad about what they said, which is ridiculous. It was such a trivial thing."

This piqued Dean's interest, and his face showed it. Amy began to tell the story about what had happened, three months back.

"We had just started the Supernatural series." This fact earned her a distasteful look from Dean. She continued anyway. "After the first one, we all got together and started to analyze. I'm not sure if you're familiar with the books, but the two brothers, Sam and Dean, have a peculiar relationship. Most of us, though we know it will never happen because they are brothers, think they are in love. Kristine, however, decided that ‘Wincest’ wasn't her cup of tea. She had a whole different analysis, which got some backlash from a few in the group who are serious Sam slash Dean fans. She was very persistent on this idea that Sam and Dean are just codependent and that Dean would, if the time came, bring Sam back from the dead because he couldn’t live without his brother. The way she made it seem was very convincing to me, but the others gave her a rough time about it for a while. We were just finishing Swan Song when all of the deaths started.”

Dean winced and remembered the first time he heard the title Swan Song. He and Sam were talking to Charlie about hunting and all the dangers and horrible things she would cross if she ever went hunting solo, which the two men strongly urged her not to. She told them about how she knew all about the big, bad, scary Apocalypse. She read all about it in the last published work of Supernatural by Carver Edlund. Also, she knew about how Sam accepted Lucifer to save the world. Dean shook the memory away, and returned to the present.

“So all of the deaths occurred after you read that one book?” questioned Dean, sternly.

Amy nodded. “Yes, one by one right after we finished Swan Song.”

She stopped speaking at the exact moment that a bang of what sounded like a body being slammed against a wall was heard overhead. Dean’s first instinct was Sammy, but he quickly remembered Cas had followed Kristine upstairs. He pulled his gun out as he ran up the stairs. Going room by room, he searched for Cas. Finally, at the end of the hall, he toed open the door and saw Cas panting heavily and an unconscious Kristine near the closet. Dean breathed a sigh of relief and walked over to Cas, pulling him upright.

“Dean, I think you should see this,” said Cas breathlessly. He led Dean into a room that Dean had briefly peered into looking for Cas. He didn’t recall seeing what was before him, however. Plastered on the walls were printouts of summoning spells and other supernatural beings. In one corner, near a closet, stood a small table that held candles, a shattered pictured frame, and a bowl. Dean could bet money this was witchy. When he went to look at the table, however, something laughed at him from the closet. Dean almost jumped out of his skin, for a moment he thought he heard Sam. But Sam is with Jess, Dean thought. He went to the closet door to check anyway.

“Dean, what is it?” Cas questioned, worried. He gave Dean a look that resembled confusion.

“Didn’t you hear it, Cas? Sounded like-” Dean stopped, pulling open the door. He looked up to find his moose of a brother dressed in a white suit, holding a red rose. Dean backed up and almost fell over the bed on the other side of the room. This can’t be real, Sam isn’t Lucifer, that was a nightmare! thought Dean. Dean dared to look at Cas, but Cas maintained his confused and worried expression.

“Hello, Big Brother.” Sam, It’s not Sam, said.

“Cas, look in the closet for a creature.” Dean whispered, and he threw Cas his gun. Cas walked right through S-Lucifer on his way to the closet. That reminded Dean that what he was seeing was not real. Cas stepped into the closet and gasped. Sitting in the corner of the dimly lit space was what looked like a gremlin. After he gathered his thoughts, Cas shot the creature three times, square in the chest, just like Dean taught him in their time at the bunker.

Immediately after the shots were fired, Dean’s hallucination disappeared. He let out a large breath, then walked over to where Cas was crouched. Dean saw what he had seen in his original research. A creepy gremlin-like thing that was waiting for Dean to fall flat onto the bed. Thanks to Cas, Dean was walking out of the room that held the nightmare, the room that held his nightmare.

As the pair walked down the hallway, they saw Amy tending to Kristine’s wounds. Amy looked up from caring for her sister. Her eyes had something new in them, something deeper than the sorrow Dean had seen earlier. He had seen this look before, however. It was the look of relief and attraction. He knew it well, and at that moment, he was very keen to act upon the urge that that look was egging on. Amy stood up and she brushed Dean’s arm as she walked past him out of the room. Dean gave Cas a pleading look and a shy smile. Cas understood and nodded regretfully, then let Dean follow Amy out of the room.

When he finally found her, Amy frantically pawed at his tie and breathlessly kissed him on the mouth. Dean helped loosen the tie and he slipped it off with ease, never breaking the kiss. Dean opened his eyes slowly, but he felt suddenly very wrong. He kept with it, however, fighting back the growing guilt that accompanied every kiss. Once he had successfully removed her shirt, he looked down at her. The brown eyes that gazed up at him were entirely not what he wanted. He picked up the tie on the floor and left the room. He muttered a quiet ‘sorry’ as he walked out the door.

Dean heard commotion behind him and as he turned, Amy, still lacking a shirt, had a finger in his chest. “You can’t leave me. Why would you want to leave me?” she questioned, sounding full of herself in a way that was very new to Dean. He didn’t like it and the feeling of unease grew in his stomach.

He responded kindly, however. “It’s not you. Actually, it is you. You aren’t what I want.” He apologized quickly again. Then Dean went to find Cas in the other room. Luckily Cas had been able to talk to Kristine even though she was still hazy.

“She told me the summoning spell was accidental. She was writing something called fan-fiction and stumbled upon the Latin spell and included it in her story. When the nightmare came to her, she became obsessed with the power she held over the fate of others and just kept telling it to kill.” Cas explained. “What should we do with her, Dean?” he questioned.

“I think we should leave her under serious watch. I’ll call Garth.” Dean told Cas under his breath. “I have a friend who is going to check up on you every once in a while. You need to stay out of trouble or you’ll be in serious trouble.” Dean warned Kristine. He then left the room to call Garth.

~~~

When they got into the Impala, Cas was stern.

“Dean. I was under the impression you had feelings for me. Why did you want to have intercourse with Amy?” He sounded pained. When Dean looked over, Cas refused to meet his eyes, but Dean could swear he saw a tear.

“Cas, buddy. I honestly don’t know what I feel. At first, seeing her made my instincts kick in. But when I was actually there, kissing her, everything felt wrong. Her eyes were the wrong color. Her hair was the wrong color. I didn’t feel the way I thought I should have.” Dean stumbled with his words. He took a breath and looked for the right words to explain what he meant. “Cas, I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m looking for my forever. I don’t want one night stands, or one afternoon stands in this case.” Dean paused, this was as close to a chick-flick moment as he’d ever been.

“What are you getting at Dean?” Cas sounded annoyed, with a slight undertone of hope, in the question.

Dean tried to shake his face of the smile that was forming there. He failed miserably and ended up grinning like an idiot. “I guess I’m saying that I’ve got something special right here.”

Cas didn’t try to hide the smile that emerged on his face. Every word Dean had said had intensified every feeling he had for the man. Cas looked at Dean through lowered lids and Dean wondered how he never registered how beautiful the fallen angel was. Dean couldn’t resist, so he reached up and rubbed his thumb over Cas’ cheek. Cas leaned in to the touch, as if they had been doing this all their lives. Dean cleared his throat and started up Baby. He smiled darkly and Cas knew the freckled man in the driver’s seat had a plan.

“Dean.” Cas pried, but Dean made a gesture of locking his lips. Cas crossed his arms and made a very stoic face, which caused Dean to do a full belly laugh. The kind that only Cas could draw out, and made Cas grin every time.

~

Four hours later, they pulled into a Holiday Inn, right in the heart of Orlando. Dean was more than happy to stay at a motel, but Cas made a fuss when they were leaving the one in Gladeview. Cas smiled when he saw the nice hotel, but wondered why they were stopping when it had only been a few hours. He looked at Dean expectantly, but Dean made the lips-locked gesture again so Cas dropped it.

When they checked in, Dean told Cas to go up to the room. Cas whined, but obliged. Dean’s plan was working magnificently.

“Hi, I was wondering how much two tickets to Disney World would cost?” Dean asked the young redhead behind the counter. She smiled and started typing, only pausing to ask how many days he would like. Dean told her “Just one, but where can we go in the park?”

“Well, I can get you tickets for any park: Epcot, Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, or Magic Kingdom.” She smiled at Dean after delivering the well rehearsed speech. Dean nodded.

“Magic Kingdom. I want this to be special,” he replied with an excited tone and a glimmer in his eye.

“Okay, two tickets for the Magic Kingdom. Is this your first time going to the parks?” she asked with a smile.

Dean shook his head. “No, I’ve been, but it was like, forever ago. This is my,” Dean faltered, he had no idea what to call Cas. “My - my b-boyfriend’s first time.” He breathed out the words so fast, he wasn’t even sure he sounded like himself. The woman behind the counter nodded in understanding, she leaned over and gestured for him to lean in too.

“I know that it’s scary right now, but it get’s easier,” she said with a knowing smile. Dean raised his eyebrows in question, even though he already suspected. She nodded again. “I’m not really allowed to say anything at work, but yeah, I’m gay too.”

This caused Dean to back up a few steps. He shook his head. He’s not gay, he just loves Cas. Okay, maybe he’s a little gay. The girl behind the counter laughed out loud and said reassuringly, “It’s okay to be bi. I know there’s a stigma for male bisexuals, but I can promise you, they exist and they aren’t all secretly gay.” She smiled again before handing him the tickets she had printed. He handed her the amount she had told him, and he winced at how much lighter his wallet was. Unfortunately, he didn’t mind that much. His plan was working itself out brilliantly.

~

By the time Cas heard the door open, he was pacing the room on an empty stomach. Dean walked into the room and it was almost as if he read Cas’s mind. He held out the two McDonald’s bags, and Cas grabbed them both, trying to find the burgers that he knew were within. Dean smiled widely, and once Cas was done finding his food, Dean retrieved his own.

“Did you know that that is the largest McDonald’s in the world? I got scared waiting in line. It was absolute chaos in there, man.” Dean said before biting into his own burger.

Cas nodded in understanding. He didn’t say anything, however, he was too preoccupied with the food that Dean brought.

“I’ve got a surprise for tomorrow.” Dean informed Cas after they had finished their meal. Cas gave Dean a worried look and tilted his head just a tad. Dean chuckled and made the lips locked motion one more time. Cas sighed in resignation then headed to the bathroom to take a shower. He brought his bag with him, even though Dean had thought they were comfortable enough, having been friends for five years.

Cas, of course, took hour long showers. Dean settled on the bed in the center of the room. He flicked on the TV and sifted through channels until he found one showing House of Wax. He liked the movie because Paris Hilton gets ganked. Today, however, Dean turned it off almost immediately. One of the actors looked too similar to Sam for his liking. He finally settled on The Food Network, because Gordon Ramsay was just too funny to pass up.

By the time Cas walked out of the steamy bathroom, Dean was doubled-over in laughter. Chef Ramsay had just dumped someone’s entire dish in their hair. Cas grinned at the television before stepping in front of Dean. Dean tried to duck around him to watch the show, but Cas would not budge. Dean groaned then looked at his friend.

“Which side am I taking?” Cas asked politely. Dean smiled and patted the right side, nearest to the wall. Cas nodded and crawled under the blankets. He was asleep within minutes of Dean watching him there. Dean decided this would be a good time to shower from the day, and he knew they were going to have an early morning tomorrow.

~

“Cas, c’mon, it’s time to wake up. I’ve got a surprise for you.” Dean explained as he tried to rouse Cas from his slumber. Dean laughed a little too loudly when Cas tried to untangle his octopus limbs from the blankets. He fought Dean for those last night, and Dean gave in.

“Gwhaghah.” mumbled Cas, still mostly asleep. At least he was until Dean nudged his shoulder and held out a cup of steaming coffee. Smelling the delicious drink, Cas sat up and took the cup from the other man. After three long sips, he finally said “Good morning, thank you, Dean.”

Dean smiled and bit his lip. He quickly got dressed and urged Cas to do the same. Although, Cas, at this time of the morning, was sluggish at best.

“Cas, we’ve got to get going. I promise tomorrow we can sleep in. Today, though, we are on a tight schedule.” Dean pleaded. Castiel finally got dressed and they were out of the hotel and onto a shuttle at ten past eight in the morning.

Cas was as clueless as ever, even when the shuttle driver started giving off Disney World facts. Dean smiled from ear to ear when he could see that they were entering the property. They passed under the big ‘Welcome to Walt Disney World’ sign and Cas’s face lit up like Christmas tree. He turned to look at Dean with a look so full of awe. Dean wished he had a camera at that moment, so he made a mental note to get one as soon as the entered the park.

When the driver stopped at the shuttle depot at The Magic Kingdom, Dean grabbed Cas’s hand and led him off the bus. The two stopped and looked at the mass of people, young and old, in line going into the park. As they approached the entrance, Cas sighed with a smile and looked at Dean.

“Dean, thank you. You really didn’t need to do this.”

Dean replied with a smile and a nod, and he grabbed Cas’s hand. Cas understood that Dean wanted to do this for Cas. Dean and Cas each handed their tickets over to the teller and walked through the turnstile. Dean, once again, grabbed Castiel’s hand and led the way. They walked past picture takers, vendors, and the most beautiful carousal Cas had ever seen. Then they were on Main Street USA, and when they looked around, there was so much wonder.

Dean vanished from Cas’s sight for a couple of minutes, so he took the time to truly take in the sights around him. The buildings were close together and very beautiful. He felt like he was thrown back in time to a place much different from the world he was in. There were stores and restaurants on both sides of the street, and he could see from the pavement there was, or used to be, a street car that drove through.

There were crowds of people all over. It was by chance that he even saw Dean coming out of the store, talking to a woman in a uniform. She probably works here, Cas thought to himself. Then Dean led the woman over to where Cas was still standing. She introduced herself as Alexandra, and then pulled two buttons out of her basket that Cas had just noticed she was carrying. Before he knew what was happening, he had a button on his shirt. Dean sported one as well. When he glanced down, he saw that he and Dean had differing buttons. He looked at Alexandra then, with a puzzled look. She smiled and grabbed another from her basket.

“Here you go, I just didn’t have enough hands! Congratulations and have a great day at the magical world of Disney!” she said as she walked away.

A second look down at his shirt told Cas that he and Dean now had matching buttons. It took him a stunned second look to really see what the buttons said. Cas had one that said ‘1st Visit!’ which he smiled at. The other one, the one that matched Dean’s, said ‘Happy Anniversary’ and under it in marker was written ‘Five Years’. He blushed and turned his head. Dean grabbed his hand firmly, and with a smile, they set off down Main Street USA towards Cinderella’s castle.

~~~

The first ride they went on was Space Mountain, because Dean always loved that ride. Cas ended up loving it too, and they rode it two more times before moving on to the Teacup ride. Dean had fun seeing Cas light up when they spun faster, but he also felt very sick. As soon as they got off the ride, Dean ran to the nearest trash can and dry heaved into it. Cas was worried, but he still felt obliged to laugh. The laughter earned him a very dirty look from Dean. As they made it into Fantasyland, Dean had to try to hide the glow in his cheeks. They passed Ariel’s grotto and walked to the newest park of the park. That was when Cas heard the breath go into Dean’s lungs sharply. He turned to see Dean staring at a tall man, who had dark hair in a hair tie. The man was ruggedly handsome, in Cas’s opinion, but Dean was ogling. He was wearing a tight red shirt, with a yellow belt at the waist, tight green pants, and big black boots. Cas nudged Dean’s side and gave him a wondering look.

Dean tried to clear his thoughts enough to form a sentence but failed. Ultimately, he just said the name ‘Gaston’. Cas didn’t understand and Dean shook his head. He made a mental note to introduce Cas to the wonderful world of Beauty and the Beast. Then Dean grabbed his companion’s hand and led the way to the line forming behind the man called Gaston.

When they got into line, the hunter shoved the disposable camera into the fallen angel’s hands. He then looked back with an excitement that his friend had never seen in his eyes before. Then it was their turn to meet the character.

“Hello there, handsome.” Gaston greeted Dean. Dean, in turn, blushed a shade that matched the other man’s shirt. Cas, standing at a distance with the camera, grew red with anger, and a new feeling, jealousy.

Dean stumbled out something that sounded like “You’re not so bad yourself.” Gaston winked and gave him a debonair smile. Dean smiled back with a look of fondness and adoration.

“Okay, we’re going to get your pretty boyfriend over there to take our picture,” the character said matter of factually. “Do you want to make him even more jealous?” he whispered into Dean’s ear.

Dean nodded, and at the same time Gaston took him in his arms and dipped him like they were dancing. Their faces were close and one of the two growled at Cas to take the picture before Dean fell. When Cas had made it obvious that he had taken the picture, Gaston set the hunter upright and smacked his butt, then moved to the next one in line.

Dean made his way to Cas, who was glaring in his direction. Dean wrapped his arms around his angel and held him there for a while. When he pulled away, he smiled at Cas genuinely and reached up to ruffle his hair. The fallen angel ducked away with laughter, then hugged Dean again.

“We do need to talk about this, Dean.” Cas whispered in his ear while they embraced. He felt the hunter nod in agreement. As the two men walked into the large entryway to the Be Our Guest restaurant, Dean was stunned speechless by the sheer accuracy of the place. He was surprised Disney managed to make it so huge and so beautiful. As he looked around in awe, Cas nudged him toward the podium to get a seat.

“Table for two, please,” the dark haired ex angel said politely. The girl opposite them nodded and smiled. She wrote something on a clipboard and said “follow me”. She led the way to a small table in the main dining room. They were seated and she told them their waiter would be with them shortly.

Cas looked at Dean the way Dean looked around the room, with eyes full of wonder and amazement. He glanced down and cleared his throat. “Dean, we really need to talk.” He breathed out shakily. Cas twisted his hand in the other, a nervous habit he developed. Dean, having caught it in his peripheral vision, grabbed his hand and set them apart on the table.

“Is this the ‘defining the relationship’ talk?” Dean joked, but underneath was a hint of a scared tone. Dean had never been good with the relationships he had. He always had to leave town or ditch before John found him and beat him into oblivion. He was always scared the his father would find out about his escapades. Dean’s teenage years were full of making out with girls in school and making out with boys behind the school in the dark. He knew if John found him taking a boy back to the motel, John would not only beat him but leave him in whatever Godforsaken town they were in that week. Although, if he were to ever bring a girl back, John would clasp his son on the back and take him out for ice cream. It made Dean disgusted that his father was so openly hateful to a part of Dean he didn’t even realize existed.

Dean tried to clear his mind of the pain, so he looked at Cas for his answer. The pain in Castiel’s face made Dean realize his quip was what Cas actually wanted to talk about. He reached across the table to where Cas’s hands were still glued. He held one in both of his hands and looked at the fallen angel earnestly.

“Tell me what you want this to be, Cas. I think you know well enough how I feel about you.” Dean suggested.

Cas only looked at him and shook his head. “After the past few encounters with others you find attractive, I am not very sure of where your heart lies. If I still had my Grace…” he started, but Dean cut him off.

“Okay, I’m no good at this whole ‘feelings’ thing, but I’ll give it my best shot.” He gulped, only to be cut off by a young, smiling waiter. The boy’s name tag read ‘Frankie’ and he handed them their menus while listing off the specials. Dean decided to get ‘Croque Monsieur' which was a grilled ham and cheese sandwich. Dean laughed when the dark haired man asked if they just had burgers. Cas finally ordered braised pork, to much disappointment. The waiter left to place the food order and the two were alone again.

Dean decided to pick up where he left off. “Cas, I-” the hunter stumbled over the words he was trying to say. “That Gaston thing was nothing. I’ve always had a thing for him, but it’s nothing against you. He was a physical attraction, you are my best friend. You’re so much more to me.” Dean explained.

The ex-angel tried to process his hunter’s statement. “Dean, I want to know where we are. Are we together? Am I your boyfriend?” he questioned with desperation.

Dean nodded in response and reached for Cas’s hand once more. Cas pulled away this time. “I don’t want to feel like I need to compete. I raised you from Perdition. That should tell you where you stand on my list. I defied orders getting you out. I need to be most important to you the way you are most important to me.”

Dean was taken back by the brazen request. He mulled it over in his mind before he nodded. He decided that wasn’t a good enough confirmation, so he used his voice. “You are my most important, Cas. You will be for as long as we live.” Dean said with an endearing tone that brought tears to his angel’s eyes.

The waiter, Frankie, cleared his throat announcing his presence. When Dean looked up, embarrassed, he saw that the boy was smiling at his declaration. He kept smiling as he placed the food in front of them and smiled again as he turned and walked away. The two men dug into their food without saying another word. They stayed silent until they were completely done and were waiting for the waiter to return with the check.

It was Cas that broke the silence first. “So where are we going next Dean?” he questioned. Dean pulled out his map of the park and looked at the circles and X’s of places they wanted to go and places they have already been.

“Looks like the next one, cheesy as it is, is ‘it’s a small world’. You’ll have the song stuck in your head for weeks, but since it’s your first time here, we have to go.” Dean told his friend, who nodded in understanding.

They stood together and walked out of the restaurant into the hot Floridian sun.

~~~

The two men had been standing in line for and hour and a half, and they could see they had at least another half an hour to go. Dean was fidgety to begin with, having had that, albeit important, terrifying conversation with Castiel. The freckled man was shifting his weight from one leg to the other every couple seconds. Cas rolled his eyes at the other man and groaned.

“Dean, would you please stop moving? It’s annoying, as well as extremely detrimental to your joints.” the ex-angel stated, showing all the knowledge he still possessed even though his Grace was missing.

Dean chuckled, and he shook his head. He looked at Cas, his eyes shimmering like emeralds, and offered up a small smile. He made an effort to stand tall, but his back and knees grew tired very quickly. He opted to lean against the poles that corralled the people onto the ride. At that moment, Dean was struck with a strange curiosity. He mulled over how to go about asking the question he wanted to know the answer to. Not only did he want the answer, he wanted every detail.

Cas noticed the perplexed look on the hunter’s face. “Is there something wrong, Dean?” the fallen angel tentatively asked.

“Naw, Cas. I - I - I guess I wanted to know when.” Dean began. He noticed the look on Castiel’s face that was a bit more than confusion. He went on, “When, exactly, did you, y’know, start… liking me?” He sounded like a twelve year old girl asking if a boy liked her.

Check yes or no.

Cas, however, didn’t think he sounded like a prepubescent girl and nodded earnestly, taking in what was asked and pulling out memories. He closed his eyes as he sifted through the thousands of years he had seen in Heaven as an Angel of the Lord. He remembered hearing his brothers speaking about it, about the true vessels that would bring about the end of wars between Heaven and Hell. He had no idea then, but felt sorry for the humans whose lives would be sacrificed for the sake of the angels rivalry with Lucifer.

He remembered hearing a prayer; one of the loudest, purest prayers he had ever had the pleasure of listening to. The prayer was said by a Mary Winchester who prayed that an angel watch over her son. That son being Dean, that angel being Castiel. He remembered being nervous to visit her in a dream. He also recalls being completely at ease in her presence, a mother figure he bonded with. In that short lapse of time while she was pregnant with Dean, Mary used Cas somewhat to become a better mother, and in that, became a sort of mother to Castiel as well.

He promised Mary that he would protect Dean through his whole life, and he promised to always listen to his prayers. As it turned out, however, Dean only started to pray after he met Cas, and he only prayed to Castiel. So he watched from afar for 26 years. Then he became worried. Dean had sold his soul for Sam to live. The bargain he had made with the crossroad demon was far from fair, and Castiel hunted her down. He persuaded, pleaded, and tried to bribe her into letting Dean out of the deal. All of his attempts were in vain. That one year he had in exchange for his brother’s life flew by. The day came and went and Dean was mauled and dragged into Hell by the hellhounds with assistance from Lilith. Dean was sent straight into the Pit to be put on the rack. Castiel couldn’t stand the thought of his charge being mercilessly tortured, and the thought of the known demon, Alistair, doing the torturing made the angel sick.

No less than three hours later, Cas was in flight. He was unprepared for the amount of heartache and pain he would feel for the souls that were crying out to him. He knew that the majority of the people in Hell deserved to be there. However, some pure souls, such as Dean, had sold their soul to save or better the life of another. Those souls shone brighter than the rest, and lit his way to the brightest of them all, Dean Winchester. However, the flight was not a lit path to the one he was searching for.

Castiel was an angel in Hell. He was a rarity, the grand prize. He fought his way through Hell for forty years, which related to one year up above. The Knights of Hell and all of the demons were after him. He defeated many in his wake, but the numbers were astonishing. Castiel had to hide amongst some light souls while he was working his way down the levels of Hell. When he finally reached the Pit, the deepest darkest part before Lucifer’s cage, he felt a strange mixture of emotions. Castiel was overjoyed at finding the Righteous Man, but upon seeing him, extremely heartbroken about how he had turned to torture in exchange for being taken off the Rack.

Forgetting all the horrifying demons around him, Castiel plunged in to pull Dean up from the line of torture. The angel took him straight up, having what seemed like renewed strength after finding the Righteous Man. Before Castiel let Dean up to the surface, he rebuilt Dean from the tiniest cells in his organs to the freckles that dotted his body, taking extreme care that everything was back in order. When Dean’s body was complete, with the addition of Castiel’s brand, a handprint burn on his upper right arm, Castiel retrieved his soul from a special bag charmed with Enochian. As soon as Castiel touched the freckled man’s soul, he was changed.

There was a budding blossom to which Castiel had no name growing inside of him. He knew that it grew the longer he held the human soul and exponentially more so when he saw the love it held. He caressed the soul and placed it gingerly into the human body that he had rebuilt. The angel went above ground in his true form and towered over the small town he had landed in. When he finally saw Dean crawl his way out of the grave, Castiel attempted to speak to him. Unfortunately, Castiel’s voice shattered an entire liquor store and left Dean running in the opposite direction. Castiel decided it was time for a new approach, given the new way he felt about the Righteous Man.

Jimmy Novak was a very devout man, and the angel was very thankful to him. He provided Castiel with a very attractive vessel, which at first seemed very unimportant to Castiel. As time went on and his feelings began to develop, he found it was a very lucky thing. Perhaps it was by Divine Intervention.

When Cas snapped back to Disney World, the line was moving along and they were almost to the front. Cas looked at Dean and offered a smile, which Dean replied to with an even wider grin.

Cas began to answer the hunter’s question. “As many of my brothers and sisters have stated, I have always had a soft spot for you, Dean. It became, more, so to say, when I raised you from Perdition.” Dean took a breath and nodded as if understanding. Castiel wasn’t certain he actually did so he went on, “Your soul was the brightest, most loving soul I had ever seen. You renewed my strength to get us out of the Pit. That was when I began to fall from Grace, all because I fell for you.”

Dean swallowed visibly and tried to blink away the emotions that filled his eyes to the brim. He wasn’t a teenager who was just told why their crush liked them, he was a grown-ass man. He set his jaw and nodded. Dean gave up his tough guy act about ten seconds later and enveloped Cas in a giant bear hug. He didn't really mind if he was blushing. Cas nuzzled into his chest and Dean felt the smile on the ex-angel's face.

As they were ushered onto the boats, Dean held Cas’s hand to help him in. The pair did not let go of each others hands throughout the entire ride. Dean glanced at his angel a few times and swore he could see sadness in his eyes. It never occurred to Dean that Castiel might miss traveling the world most of all. He undoubtably knew all of the languages and once he caught on to the tune, began to sing along in the language of whichever country the floated near.

这是一个小世界毕竟

Het is een kleine wereld na alle.

To mały świat po wszystkim.

It’s a small world after all.

When Dean heard Cas’s deep, resonant voice begin to sing this classic children’s song, he couldn’t help himself and he began to sing with the others in the boat. By the time the boat got back to the loading and unloading station, everyone was red in the face from laughing and singing as loudly as possible. As Dean was stepping out of the boat, a balding man in a blue sweater and khakis clasped him on the back and smiled at him. His eyes suggested he knew and so Dean smiled shyly back, and turned to follow Castiel out into the world.

~

After a quick dinner and a couple more rides, it began to get dark. Dean looked at the time on his watch and the illuminated clock face said it was half past eight. He led the way back to the Castle where many people were already gathering. Dean tugged at Cas’s hand and they sat in the circle facing the castle and waited.

“Dean, what are we doing? The park is going to close soon and there are still rides I want to go back to.” Castiel questioned the other man.

Dean chuckled, and explained. “There is a special parade at night. You’re going to love it.”

Cas nodded but asked, “How is there a parade at night? It’s dark, we won’t be able to see anything.”

Dean smiled this time and tried to shush the other man, for music and a voice sounded from somewhere they could not see.

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the Magic Kingdom proudly presents the Main Street Electrical Parade!”

All the lights went out, then the world filled with color as floats and dancers dressed in magnificent flashing lights made their way down the street. Cas looked at Dean with blue eyes sparkling like the Cinderella float that was making it’s way to them. Dean watched his angel’s face fill with wonder and joy as the music, dancers, and floats made their way towards them. One of the dancers with the Alice in Wonderland float came up to Cas and took him into the street for a dance. The hunter had never seen his friend look happier.

When Castiel returned, he pulled Dean back into the street to keep dancing in the parade. The pair danced a ways down the street until Dean danced them back to where they started. He needed their placement to be perfect. The parade was about hallway through and Dean could see Mickey at the end of the street.

The butterflies in his stomach were fluttering excitedly, restlessly. He had been turning over his big surprise in his mind for the past week. The hunter thought he had it all planned. He looked up as the first crack of the fireworks show sounded. He glanced at the fallen angel beside him, his angel. Wonder filled his face once more and he formed a toothy smile in Dean’s direction. It was all going according to plan.

The fireworks would start, and Cas, man, his eyes would light up almost brighter than the explosions above our heads. I would lean over and twine our fingers together gently. He would look at me with those almost too blue eyes and smile. Then I would turn so I was facing him and I would lean close—

Before he knew what was happening, Cas was swept up in the brush of Dean’s lips. The sensation hit him like a tank. He was filled with love and lust and finally. He closed his eyes, not because he knew he was supposed to, but because he wanted to focus on one sensory stimulant at a time. This stimulant, Dean’s lips on his, only lasted a couple seconds longer. The absence of the touch and the air that rushed into that space left him feeling cold. He slowly opened is eyes, still recovering from the rush of emotions he had through him.

Dean snapped his eyes open first, then he pulled his head back because he didn't realize he actually did it. He kissed Cas, fallen Angel of the Lord, his best friend. Kissed him when he was only playing through what was going to happen in his mind. It happened earlier and a lot more subconsciously than he planned, but Dean supposed it was better that way. He realized his fingers were still interwoven in Cas’s, so he squeezed them reassuringly. That time, Cas took Dean by surprise and leaned up to kiss him back. Both men leaned into each other and put five years of pent up anger and fear and love and lust and thank God because I’ve needed you into the kiss. Fireworks rained over their heads as they shared every secret without words, taking the time to feel every bit of the other’s lips.

They felt like they were starving, but drowning at the same time. Dean was clinging to Cas like he was the last life boat in an ocean full of hungry sharks. Cas had a grip on Dean like he was his shining light in Hell, because he was. Cas pulled Dean out of hell, both literally and figuratively. Dean was Castiel’s anchor when he wanted to float away, especially when he got lost in his daydreams— flying. When they were kissing, however, Castiel forgot his envy of the birds in flight. Dean made him soar.

They stood like that, Cas’s fingers in Dean’s hair, Dean’s hands gripping Cas’s emerald green (“It looks like the color of your eyes, Dean”) flannel button down, for several minutes until a parent or two cleared their throat. They pulled away at the interruption but quickly realized where they were. Cas, being true to his good nature, apologized to all the parents in the area for that obscene display of affection. One couple, who had sleeping children in strollers, quietly thanked Castiel for being brave and shook his hand. He glanced over his shoulder to where Dean was standing . The hunter was embraced in a hug from another pair of strangers. When both men had finished making the rounds, either to apologize or to say ‘fuck-off’, they hugged briefly then laughed in unison.

Cas gave the freckled man a look that was expressive of a question, and Dean nodded in understanding. “They were congratulating me on the whole, erm, thing…” He made a gesture to his lips then to Cas’s, because he was afraid to say it, afraid to say he made out with his best friend under the fireworks in Disney World. Afraid of it because it was the most beautiful thing he had ever done, and he was so happy with where he was. Afraid because he wanted to keep Cas’s hands wrapped in his, his lips tangled with his for the rest of time, until they ran out of breath. Afraid because he never knew he needed what was right in front of him this whole time and he never wanted to lose it. He was afraid because loving meant losing. Dean couldn’t live if he lost another anchor, he would be empty and he would surely float away.

Even with his Grace taken, Castiel felt like he could read the hunter’s mind. He understood that this was the biggest step Dean has made for himself, and it took so much courage. Cas knew that in the back of Dean’s mind, he still had John’s opinions and judgements held close, even though John had been dead for almost eight years. Loyal to an absent father, just like he had been. They have both been moving away from that blind trust so much, together. They gained what they needed from each other. Dean had faith, and Cas had love. He took Dean’s hand in his and looked up to watch the colorful show in the sky, the second most beautiful part of the night.

~~~

As soon as they settled into their seats on the shuttle back to the hotel, Cas was asleep. He cozied into Dean’s shoulder and let out breathy snores. Dean silently grinned and adjusted the sleeping man so that Dean wouldn’t have a sore shoulder driving tomorrow, and so that Cas wouldn’t complain about his stiff neck the whole day. The ex-angel was cranky enough in the mornings.

They arrived back to the hotel at around eleven at night. Dean gently tugged Castiel up from the seat and half carried him back to their room. When he finally managed to get the door open with Cas leaning almost all of his body weight on his side, Dean laid Cas into bed. The freckled man gently took off Cas’s tennis shoes and removed the flannel he was wearing. Dean then took off his own work boots and flannel as well as his jeans. He tucked Cas into the covers first, then lowered himself beside the dark haired sleepy-head. At that moment, Cas fluttered his eyes open and leaned in to give Dean a sleepy goodnight peck on the lips. Dean was stunned for a moment but then snuggled into Cas’s warmth, he didn’t want to fight for the blankets again.

They awoke to the blaring of Dean’s Highway to Hell ringtone. Dean jumped out of bed and hustled to his bag, rummaging to find the small silver device. He saw on the caller ID that it was Garth. The hunter librarian/job-seeker probably had a hunt for them. He flipped open the compact cell phone and greeted Garth.

“Hey, man.” Dean opened, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He wandered over to the window as Garth greeted him in return.

“I’ve got a case, and I know I’ve got other hunters capable of doing it closer to the site, but I figured you need to get back and spend some time there.”

Dean didn’t need to know any other details, the way Garth was carefully avoiding stating where the case was located was hint enough to where it was. He was not going, he was not ready to face what had happened there. Not ready to tell Cas what really happened that night, many months ago. He took a sharp breath in to signal Garth that he was dead set against it.

“Dean, I know it’s not what you want to do. Maybe it’s something you have to do though. Have you even told Cas yet?” Garth questioned pointedly.

Dean shook his head. “No, and I wasn’t planning to until the time was right.” He whispered into the receiver. He grabbed his bag that was sitting on the chair across from the bed and headed straight for the bathroom. He didn’t look at Cas, but the dark haired man gave him a very confused look and then he sighed and sank back into the bed.

Once Dean had shut and locked the door behind him, he went back to speaking. “I don’t want to go, but if it’s what you think I should do to get past this, then I’ll go. Gimme the details.”

Garth explained how they have a load of hauntings in one home, and how it’s pretty straightforward, a routine salt and burn, but it’s in the right location. Dean nodded along with the information and asked addresses and names for reference. After he had taken it all down, he hung up with Garth and turned on the water for a shower. He hoped an icy rain would help him forget about the pain he would feel when he has to deal with what he has been avoiding.

When he was thoroughly frozen and clean, he stepped out of the shower and put on a complimentary bath robe. He wrapped his hair in a towel, turban style, and walked out of the bathroom. Cas was leaned up against the headboard, hands folded neatly on his stomach, waiting. He looked at Dean with hurt in his eyes, he felt like he couldn’t be trusted to hear a simple conversation. Although he was angry with Dean, he still let the freezing freckled man cuddle into his chest.

“Dean.”

“I know, I know, Cas. We’ve got a case up north, and I was trying to get out of it. We’re going though, Garth thinks I need to face some things.” Dean explained, cautiously avoiding Cas’s eyes after the last few words. He was trying to wait for the right time to tell Cas, but the right time just kept getting pushed further and further away the more he and Cas grew. He figured Garth was right, he did need to face what happened in more than one way. He needed to face the place where his world collapsed in front of him.

~~~

“Deeeeeean.” Cas whined as they pulled through another city. “We have been driving for three days. When are we getting there? Which, by the way, you never actually told me where we were going?” Cas accused.

Dean chuckled a bit, then took his hand off the wheel to pat the other man’s knee. He pointed out the window at a sign that signaled how many miles left to go. It also stated the city they were entering.

“Sioux Falls? That’s where we’re going?” Cas inquired. He passed a glance in Dean’s direction and sighed. “What have you been running away from? Bobby has been gone for a while. Dean, did something els—”

Cas stopped abruptly when he saw a very familiar church in the distance. He got thrown forward, then yanked back by the seatbelt when Dean slammed on the breaks. Dean began to blare Baby’s horn until he realized who the little yellow car belonged to. The unmistakable red hair blowing in the summer breeze. Dean decided to follow her until she got where she was going, then the to men would go to the house that had the ghost.

It turned out that Charlie was going where they were going, much to Dean’s dismay. Both cars pulled next to the curb outside of the house, and all three hunters got out. Charlie Bradbury had a huge grin on her face when she locked eyes with Dean. She ran over to him in her grey business suit and hit him with a large hug. She looked him over and leaned to his ear.

“Dean Winchester, you’re in love.” She said with a peck on the cheek. She then rushed around him to where Cas was observing the greeting. She bowed deeply in a grand manner. “You must be Cast-eel.” She completely butchered the pronunciation, but looked as if she didn’t know otherwise and enveloped him in a hug similar to the one Dean received.

When she finally let in him go, he took a large breath in. “It’s just Cas, now, actually. Seeing as I am no longer an angel, I should no longer use the -iel at the end of my name. That suffix means ‘from God’, and since-" He let the sentence drop because now, both the redheaded woman and the freckled man were looking at him fondly.

“So are you the one that’s got my big brother all head over heels?” She questioned lightheartedly. He figured she was joking, but he nodded in confirmation anyway. At that move, Charlie’s face dropped and she looked from Dean to Cas to Dean again. She ran over to Dean and placed a sloppy wet kiss to his forehead and ruffled his hair.

“I told you so.” She grinned. “I am unbelievably proud, but shocked. Why didn’t you ever tell me, Dean?”

He shook his head and simply told her “I’ve had other things to worry about.” She nodded in understanding and Castiel could see that she was blinking back tears from her eyes. He didn’t know what could make such a wonderful, strong woman cry, but he went to rest his hand on her shoulder anyway.

“Thanks, Cas. I know you weren't there, but h-"

“Okay! Are you working this hunt too, Charlie? Let’s get to work.” Dean cut in. He started for the door and Cas and Charlie followed. Charlie caught up with him and jabbed him in the side with her elbow. He winced but saw the look on her face, and it was a look of disappointment. When they got onto the porch, Cas knocked on the door and they waited.

A stout man in his early fifties answered the door. Dean flashed his badge of the week. South Dakota Paranormal Society. The man nodded and let the three in. Dean could see why this place could have a lingering spirit. The house and everything in it was older than everything at Bobby’s house and John’s storage unit combined. Everything smelled old, as well. The man led them into a small sitting room in the front of the house. It had a large bay window with pale pink curtains. The carpet was a faded green, and the couches were work and tattered blue. The walls were covered with pink paisley wallpaper, and even that was suffering old age.

Dean found his place on the couch, in between Castiel and Charlie. The old man offered them coffee or tea, both Dean refused politely. Cas accepted the coffee, Charlie opted for the tea. Once they were all settled in, Dean started to ask questions. Just the typical where, when, how long type of interrogation they normally did. The grey haired man, James Wilson, offered up some useful information. Then he said something that was the perfect key to the task they needed to complete.

“My father and mother used to own this house. I was the only child they ever loved. I had plenty of cousins that they loathed.” James started, reliving the past in his mind. “Now, however, I have turned this house into a sanctuary for children who have been kicked out or removed from their homes. That is my theory to why this is happening.”

This piqued Dean’s interest. A vengeful spirit is reason enough for a haunting like this. “Which one of your parents were more, aggressive, so to say?” Dean asked curiously.

“That would be my mother. When she and my father got into arguments, she would throw knives at him. She missed every time, but I think she missed on purpose.” James remembered bitterly. “Come to think about it, that is one of the things that happens often around here. When one of the ladies goes to unlock the door in the morning, there have been knives in the door jamb, out of nowhere. The kitchen is in the very back of the house, and all the kids are asleep at the hour we open the doors.” He offered that information almost too excitedly. It was like he was happy to uncover the reason behind the strange behavior in the house.

“Thank you, sir,” muttered Cas.

“Is she buried in the town cemetery?” Charlie thought to ask, and Dean was grateful she did. He was proud that she was picking up on the things that hunters needed to know. Despite the worry he felt, he knew that Charlie would be an excellent hunter.

The older man nodded and said which part of the small cemetery. They all once again said thanks and let themselves out. The three met again at the hood of Baby. “We’ll rendezvous tonight at the diner up the road from the cemetery. You got someplace to stay, kiddo?” Dean queried. Charlie nodded and smiled.

“Motel just up the road. Where will you guys be?” the red haired women wondered with a smile.

Dean smiled back, reading her face for all the things she was insinuating. “We’re going up to Bobby’s house. Just to check some things, then we’ll probably crash somewhere,” he explained. Something changed in Charlie’s face then, it turned darker, more grave than before. She grabbed Dean by the arm and pulled him to the street by the yellow car.

Stern, she looked at Dean. She risked a glance at Cas and jerked her head toward the ex-angel in such a way that made him know exactly what she was getting at.

“No, I haven’t told him yet. Waiting for—” he started.

“The right time, yeah, Dean. Everyone always waits for the right time and they miss their chance. I want you to tell him when you get to Bobby’s. Tonight when we get to the cemetery he’ll see it, Dean. Not that hard to hide, last time I checked, which was right when I pulled into town. When was the last time you were there, huh? Was it the night we burned the body?” she prodded. With a heavy sigh, she walked away from Dean and enveloped Castiel in a hug that was as meaningful as the first. That hug was not a casual, see you later, kind of hug. It was a ‘see you on the other side’ kind of hug, and Cas was far too used to being abandoned. The feeling it left him wasn’t fear for himself, however. It was fear for whatever was about to transpire in the little town of Sioux Falls.

~~~

When the Impala pulled into the old Singer Salvage Yard, it was the only life among the rusty, dead cars. The rumble of her engine pierced the silence in the air. It was obvious no one had been around to check on the place in quite some time. At least, not since the last time Dean was in town. The pair got out of the car and walked the short distance to Bobby’s porch. Dean felt the air thicken around them as they walked through the front door, past history and torment and triumph. He looked around at the old place, everything was as disheveled as it had been when Bobby was alive. He walked through the kitchen into the family room that helped create the family that went beyond blood. On the mantle above the fireplace stood a photo he never remembered being taken. In the image stood Charlie, Garth, and himself, with harsh shadows. He remembers the day vividly, mostly though, he remembers the fire.

Behind him, Castiel shuffled into the room. He came to stand behind Dean with his chin resting on Dean’s shoulder. He, too, saw the picture at the fire and wondered about where Sam was, for the first time in weeks. Dean saw this moment as his golden opportunity.

He began to share his story. “Sam decided from the moment we heard about those damn trials that he was going to be the one to do them. Much as I protested, and damn if I didn’t. He was wrecked after the very first one, but he insisted on continuing. You said so yourself, he was broken beyond repair. After the second, I was really wary about the whole thing, I’d rather have my brother alive than slam shut the doors to Hell. But Sammy, stubborn as ever, decided to keep going. We captured Crowley, here at the Yard, and took him to that abandoned church up the hill. I went off with you to meet with that Naomi bitch. Sam did the final trial. I got to him before he did the final injection, he was shaking and his nose was bleeding and he looked like death walking. I told him finishing the trial would kill him, at that moment, he looked like he couldn’t care less.” Dean took a breath, his voice wavered on the last sentence. “I’ve never been more afraid, and I guess Sammy could see that and so he stopped. I pulled him out of that church at the exact moment we saw them, all of them, falling. I assumed you were safe, I didn’t know you were in Heaven with the rest of those dicks.” He shook his head again, trying to clear the pain from his memory.

“Sam asked me what was happening, I told him the angels were falling. The last thing he saw was a sky full of falling angels. Sammy died in my arms that night. I think he was just done, he was fried from the inside. Those trials weren’t made for someone to survive completing them. Let alone not following through. I think that’s what did it. He didn’t have any scrap of fight left in him, and he just let go.” Dean hung his head as a single tear fell from his eye and ran down his nose. He started to pant like he couldn’t catch his breath. The hunter hadn’t told this story since the night it happened. “He made such a great impact in the world. He didn’t die in vain. His name won’t go down in history for the countless times he has saved the world, but the lives he saved might get somewhere and make a bigger impact. Saving people…” There was still pain in his heart, seeing his whole life die in front of him. Cas stood perfectly still as he processed what the other man had said.

The ex-angel then enclosed Dean into a rib-crushing hug. Castiel reached up and ran his fingers through Dean’s sandy colored hair, and allowed the freckled man to sob silently into his shoulder. Cas hushed Dean and tried to soothe him with kisses on the cheek, the nose, the eyelids. When Dean had calmed down enough to look at the angel, Cas sighed.

“I see, Dean. Why haven’t you told me? We could have worked through this together.” He remarked. He kept his fingers in Dean’s hair to keep him calm. Cas did not want to yell at Dean, but he was angered, as he had a right to be. Charlie and Garth knew, suddenly the fallen angel didn’t feel so important. He withdrew his hands and balled them in fists at his sides. Dean looked at him and saw the obvious hurt in his eyes.

“God knows I tried to find you. I prayed every night that you would come home, I prayed and I told you about all of this. Yours was the first name I said after Sammy’s. I called everyone I knew to try and find you. I told Garth because he needed to know, and I told Charlie because she lost a brother in Sam too. Please don’t be angry with me, Cas. I’ll admit it was a dick move to not tell you when you first stumbled into the bunker, but you were hurt and I was so happy you were alive. I put it off so we could be happy together,” finished Dean with a sigh.

Castiel understood Dean’s reasoning, and he hugged him in acceptance of his apology. They stayed embraced for a long time until Dean noticed the rumble in his stomach. The hunter let go of the man with impossibly blue eyes and led him out the door. They walked to the Impala in silence. After Dean started her up, he reached over and held Cas’s hand. Dean drove with one hand on the wheel and one hand intertwined with his angel’s fingers. They decided to go to the diner a bit early and eat there. Charlie was there when they walked in, so they grabbed a booth with her.

“I hope you boys brought digging clothes.” Charlie cracked. Only then did Dean realize they were both in the same clothes as they were before.

“They’re in the car, we were a bit preoccupied at Bobby’s.” Dean replied solemnly. Cas smiled shyly at Charlie, but the sadness in his eyes was visible. Charlie nodded in understanding and smiled with a mix of happiness and sadness on her face. A tear glimmered before she quickly wiped it away. Dean was right, Charlie had lost a brother in Sam, and she missed him immensely. Cas reached across the table and held her hand until the waitress came to get them drinks.

“So I suggest we change first, then go to the site.” Dean said casually, as he sipped his cherry Coke. The other two in the booth nodded in agreement.

When they ordered and received their food, they ate in silence. They all had the same thoughts, however. They all mourned the loss of a brother. Charlie resolved that he was in a better place, and Dean knew he was with Jess. Sam would definitely be happier, the life he always wanted even if it wasn’t life at all.

~~~

When they finished eating, Dean and Castiel bid Charlie goodbye until later. The two men went to the Impala and pulled out clothes they felt comfortable dirtying. Dean went back into the diner first, since Cas was still fussing over what he should wear. He had never thought about clothing when he was an angel, but being a human brought new worries to the forefront of his mind. Cas was holding a shirt in each hand. In one hand he held a sky blue plaid flannel, in the other, his favorite worn in green plaid flannel. He ultimately decided the blue shirt would be better because he wouldn’t mind as much if it got dirtied.

Dean came back out to the car a couple of minutes later. He gently nudged Cas’s side and motioned his head toward the diner. Cas nudged him back on his way to the bathroom to change. When Cas was safely behind the door and out of earshot, Dean took out his cell to call Garth.

“Yullo.” Dean heard a familiar voice say.

“Hey, Garth. I told Cas today.”

Dean heard an audible gasp from the other end of the call. He mentally braced for impact. Although he was not prepared for what he heard next.

“Dean, I am proud of you.” Garth admitted. “You are finally opening up to the people you care most about, or should I say the one person.” The suggestion clear in his voice, almost questioning.

The freckled hunter decided he was done compensating, he was going to let himself be happy for once. “Cas and I are together, Garth.” It took everything in him, but after it was said he stood a little taller and his face felt like smiling. Garth chuckled from the other side. Dean was taken aback by the reaction.

“Well, finally, I was honestly sorry for Sam having dealt with all the angst between the pair of you. So tell me, Romeo, how’d you seal the deal?” Garth asked, which earned him a disgusted groan from Dean. They both laughed at that.

Cas came out of the bathroom in his digging clothes, with his nice suit folded neatly in his bag. He walked out to find Dean on the phone, the laughter on his face lighting up his beautiful green eyes. He heard the hunter say ‘here he is’ and the phone was in his hand. Castiel gingerly held the phone up to his ear, unsure of who was on the other end.

“Cas, congrats!” a familiar voice chimed.

“Uh,” the ex-angel returned, slightly confused.

“Dean told me you guys made it official, I’m so happy for you guys!” Garth explained. Cas nodded as if Garth could see him through the phone.

“Yeah, I guess we made it ‘official.'” Cas replied. Garth chuckled as Cas gave the phone back to Dean. He could hear the freckled man’s laughter as he approached the trunk of the Impala. There he set his bag for safe keeping. The trunk kept everything safe. He shut it as Dean was snapping his cell shut. The smile was still in place, and it made Dean’s face light up the dark space.

The hunter walked the short distance to where Castiel was standing and he wrapped him in an embrace. Cas let himself melt into the arms surrounding him and felt the smile radiate on his own face. They remained coiled together for some time longer, then they let go only to join hands again the moment they both got buckled into the car.

Dean drove the short distance to the looming church and the graveyard behind it. When Dean shut off the car, Cas let him get out to find Sam. The fallen angel guessed that Sam would have a small memorial stone, nothing as large as what he saw Dean stop in front of. Cas got out of the car, walked a distance from the gravelly parking lot to the back of the short graveyard. Cas left a short distance behind the hunter, who was kneeling in front of a large obelisk style memorial, with his head in his hands. Near the bottom, Cas could read ‘A savior of the world’, which he knew to be very true in the case of Sam Winchester.

The grey clouds rolled in with the bursts of chilly night air. Cas felt the tiny hairs on the back of his neck rise with the breeze, and heard the trees shudder around him. It was a dark place, many above ground gravestones and mausoleums clustered the small area. There were patches of bright green grass mixed with patches of older, almost dead grass all around where Cas was standing. He turned when he felt a light touch on his shoulder, and upon receiving a gentle smile, shrugged her hand off of his arm and into a hug.

Charlie hugged Castiel with all of her might, and transferred many emotions through the embrace: fear, anger, guilt, and strangely, happiness. They hugged a short while longer then went, hand in hand, to Dean’s side. The hunter leaned into Cas’s legs for support, in more ways than one. Dean had tears streaming down his face and dirt under his nails from gripping the soil to hold himself up, searching for some shred of reality to cling to. When he finally stood to face the man in front of him, his knees were weak. Castiel gripped him tight and held Dean firm against his chest.

The group separated to find the gravesite of Mrs.Wilson, James’s mother. Charlie called out to the other two when she found the small headstone in a beautiful pink granite color. The three decided to have Charlie run for the digging bag in the car. Once she was out of earshot, Cas leaned into Dean.

“Tell me what you're thinking.” The blue eyed man said.

Dean shrugged, and started “I just wish Sammy could’ve lived. He didn’t even finish the trials. Doesn’t seem fair. ‘Sides, he didn’t get to see you and me. He would’ve keeled over laughing if he knew.” He chuckled. Inwardly, he wondered if Sam ever did know. Dean didn’t think he was being blatant, hell, most of the time he didn’t even realize he was flirting. But Garth seemed to have known, and Sam was smart, Stanford smart. Maybe he knew, but Dean figured he’d never know.

Dean threw his arm around Castiel’s shoulder and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Charlie walked into view a couple seconds later.

“Aw, you guys are so cute it’s gross.” Charlie joked with a large grin plastered on her face. She handed both of the men shovels and took her own in hand. The three broke ground simultaneously and dug in silence until Cas hit something. The shovel hit with a cling indicative of a metal casket. They all threw their shovels above them and crouched to clear the thin layer of dirt that was left on top of the box. Once it was cleared, they opened it, covered the remains in rock salt, climbed out of the grave, and lit the match. Often when Dean did a salt and burn with his brother, Sam would joke and warm his hands on the flame. Dean found himself doing the same and quickly pulled his hands back into his stretched pockets.

Cas saw the movement and gently put his arm around the hunter. He instantly felt the tension leave the shoulders under his arm. In the corner of his eye he saw Charlie smile and throw her hands to her face to try to mask the smile that formed there. He smiled genuinely and basked in the feeling of the moment. Pure happiness was a shared emotion between the three standing around the burning remains.

~~

Books were surrounding them on the tables in the library back at the bunker. Kevin was translating some ancient text. Dean was fighting his eyelids while trying to read a thick book he had found. Castiel was snoring softly with his head inside of the book he had open on the table.

“I-I think I found something, Dean.” Kevin sounded unsure but hopeful. “There is a spell that can supposedly send someone living into Heaven, I know that’s not what you would like but it’s the best thing I found.”

Dean tried to clasp him on the shoulder in thanks, but missed and almost swiped the prophet’s face. Dean quickly apologized and went to look at what was needed for this spell. He could hardly make out what Kevin had scribbled on the page.

“This spell is one of the most intricate I’ve seen yet. It requires specifics and things we don’t just have lying around; even in the Letter’s storage. A full moon, Holy Fire, blood of a holy man, and,” Kevin stopped there, almost like he didn’t want to continue. “and we need an Angel.”

Dean immediately understood how difficult that would be. Most of Heaven’s old occupants were pissed at Cas for blasting them out of their home, even if it wasn’t his fault directly. Dean felt the pain that he knew Castiel felt about being blamed for something that tremendous. The hunter started the Apocalypse by torturing souls in Hell. It was indirect, but he received all the blame from the person that mattered most, Sam. Dean knew that would be difficult for Cas. Getting any one of those dicks to cooperate would be hard, even with force; Dean heard that some of the Angels still had their mojo.

Dean walked over to Cas and placed a light kiss on his head then nudged him awake. Cas blinked slowly, yawned loudly, and picked up his head. He looked at Dean with a grimace that locked the green eyed man in place.

“What is it, Dean?” Cas asked grumpily. Kevin had to hold back his laughter at the exchange that was going on before him. Dean was holding his hands up in surrender to Castiel’s glare. Kevin had forgotten how unpleasant the ex-angel was when he woke up.

“Kevin found something and we’re gunna need some help.” Dean explained with his hands still raised. He debated how he was going to say the next part, but just swallowed his fears and said, “We’re going to need an Angel, well, an Angel’s Grace, and you’re the only one who knows who they are.” Castiel shook his head vigorously.

The fallen angel had a feeling that he would not be able to find anyone who was not angry at him, let alone willing to help him. Getting an angel to help them would be one of the hardest things Cas would have to do since he had become a human. He shook his head once more and looked at Dean pleadingly.

“There has to be another way, Dean. I don’t know if I can.” Cas said, his voice hesitant and weary.

“I don’t think there is, but I’ll keep looking,” interjected Kevin. He shot Castiel a hopeful glance, and set back into reading his book.

Dean lowered his hands and sat down in a chair next to Cas. The two sat in silence for a few minutes, then Castiel pushed back his chair with an obnoxious squeaking noise. He grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him up from his chair. Castiel led Dean into Dean’s room and turned to face the green eyes he loved.

“Dean, I can’t do this. I- I-…” The former angel’s breathing sped up and Dean could see he couldn’t catch his breath. Cas’s heart beat rapidly and his chest felt like it was squeezing shut. The hand that wasn’t wrapped in Dean’s started to shake. He filled with fear and tried to shake his hand from out of Dean’s grip.

Dean looked at Castiel and recognized the signs almost immediately. “Cas, buddy, take a breath and hold it. Then let it go. Just breathe.” Cas did what Dean said and started to calm down. He was still terrified, but at least he could breathe. He looked at the other man as soon as he knew he could move without running from the room. Castiel’s expression asked ‘how did you know what to do?’

“Sammy used to have really bad anxiety when we were growing up. He would have panic attacks like this whenever he was left alone.” Dean recalled. He knew that that was mostly his fault. That night a monster came into the motel and tried to kill his brother. Dean came back to reality and squeezed the other man’s hand in his. He offered a light smile and then pulled Cas into a hug. The graceless angel shriveled into himself at the touch, so Dean quickly let him go. Castiel gave an apologetic look, then sunk into Dean’s bed behind him.

Dean watched the dark haired man climb into his bed and nuzzle into his pillows. They smelled like the hunter, and that made Cas smile softly. Being in Dean’s bed made Cas feel warm and calm. It was like an extension of the green eyed man himself, and that meant that it was home too. Cas soon felt a heavy pressure on him and when he pulled his head out of the pillows, Dean’s face was there placing chaste kisses on his cheeks, his forehead, his lips.

~~

They woke up tangled in blankets and limbs, still fully clothed from the day before. Dean was the first to make a move, but Cas’ octopus arm tried very hard to keep him in place. As much as he wiggled, Dean could not break free of his angel’s hold.

“Cas, I’ve gotta piss. And you need a shower, you reek. When was the last time you washed yourself? Jeez!” Dean stated, his voice thick from a good night’s deep sleep.

With a harrumph, Castiel moved his arm so Dean could get out of bed. As he walked out the door, memories of the night before came flooding back. How he kissed all of the blue eyed man’s troubles away. How those same blue eyes looked when Dean turned out the lights. The way he fell asleep with Cas in his arms. He had never felt so whole, like all the puzzle pieces were in the right spots and everything worked. He had never really known what perfect felt like until last night. He knew right then that he was never letting that man go. He was going to capture that perfect feeling forever.

~~

Cas awoke in Dean’s bed, alone. The clock on the nightstand read 11:06 AM, but the room was still pitch black. He laid there for a little while longer before he remembered what Dean had told him as the hunter got out of bed. He desperately needed a shower, and clean clothes. He got out of his partner’s bed and padded to his own room just down the hall from Dean’s. Castiel rummaged through his drawers, and searched through the sparse collection of clothing. He ultimately decided upon a light grey shirt with Mickey on it. He picked it out when he and Dean were roaming the shops on Main Street at the end of their night in the Magic Kingdom.

Cas grabbed a pair of jeans and some underwear and headed off to the bathroom. When he got undressed and turned on the water, he began to recall the events of the previous night. The kisses that made everything okay again, if only for a little while. He quietly hoped that Dean would let him spend another night with him, just wrapped up in each other. He felt so secure in Dean’s arms, like none of his fears could reach him as long as he was protected by the green eyed hunter. He stepped under the steaming stream of water and let himself melt away for a time.

As he finished washing the shampoo out of his hair, the task that was discovered the night before arose in his memory. He immediately shut off the water and stepped onto the cold, yellow bathroom tile floor. The shock of the chill sent shivers up his spine as he reached for a towel on the rack. He most certainly did not want to encounter any more angels, Grace-less or otherwise. He thought about trying to persuade one into helping he and Dean. It was enough to make his heart race again. Cas remembered the breathing exercise Dean helped him with and he slowly took a deep breath. He held in there in his lungs until he could practically feel the oxygen move from his alveoli into his capillaries.

Then he let it go, all of his worries and doubts and fears. In that breath, he let in the trust in himself, and in his partner, that he had been lacking. Castiel was still apprehensive about the plan and wary in finding any angel to help them, but he tried to release the fear that had encompassed his entire body. As he slid the jeans over his underwear, he imagined himself in Heaven again. It was beautiful there, and he could faintly see the brilliance of it through his human mind’s eye. Unless they were able to stop Metatron, no one, Angel or Blessed human soul, would ever get to revel in the beautiful glory of Heaven, and feel the Grace of God.

Cas walked out of the bathroom fully clothed with a new resolve that would, hopefully, get an Angel on their side. He knew just the place to look, but first he had to find Dean.

~~

When the fallen angel strolled into the kitchen, Dean noticed a new demeanor to him. The hunter met him in the middle put his hands up to the dark haired man’s face, and pulled him in for a kiss. Cas kissed Dean back with a determination to tell him everything he resolved in himself just before. Dean felt the smile from his partner on his mouth and smiled back. Dean then pulled back and placed a chaste kiss to the tip of Cas’s nose. Grinning, Dean’s angel started to tell him about his plan.

“I know who we can contact to help us. I am not sure how much persuading it will take, but Clare fought alongside me once. That should count for something.” Cas explained.

Dean pondered what had been said, then remembered the name Cas had just given.

“Cas, wasn’t Clare the one who ripped out your wings?” Dean asked tentatively. They both cringed at the memory of Castiel, freshly fallen from Heaven, crawling into the bunker, bloody. The fallen angel only nodded in response. Dean was far from calm. “How do you expect me to go to her begging for help when she ripped out your wings? Your wings, Cas! I can’t do it, what logical base do you have to think that she in any way would be willing to do this for you; for us?” Dean’s words were a low blow and Cas felt the sting of pain in every one. He expected Dean to be angry, he expected those harsh words. He didn’t expect Dean to sit him down and gently remove his shirt. He also didn’t know that Dean was going to kiss his scars where his wings had been so savagely torn out.

Dean moved around so he was in front of Cas again. “I can’t see you hurt the way you were that night you came home. You’re my everything, and if you’re in pain, I feel that pain too. I can’t see you go through that again, man.” Dean’s effort to keep the moment emotionless failed miserably as he enveloped Cas in a hug so tight they threatened to become one being. The fear in Dean’s eyes was evident as he stared into the blue ones across from him. Castiel knew that Dean was terrified for his well being. He also knew that Dean could lose another part of his family.

Everything Dean ever loved had a way of becoming lost to him. His mother first in the fire, then his childhood dreams, then his father, and most recently his brother. Cas knew that he needed to be supremely careful with the way he handled the confrontation with Clare; if they could find her. The fallen angel had an idea of where they could begin to look for the other angels that had been cast out of Heaven. Granted, it wasn’t a spectacular place, but it was a start.

“Dean, you are afraid. I understand, but we need to get to Metatron before he does something drastic in Heaven.” Dean rolled his eyes. “I mean it. I have an idea about where to look for her, as well as some other angels who were in my garrison. Does Kevin have all the ingredients worked out?” The dark haired man asked. Dean shook his head.

“Little guy is having a rough time. I told him to take as long as he needs, because he looks burnt out.” Dean explained, with a tone of almost parental concern. Dean had started to feel like a father figure to the prophet when he moved into the bunker. Especially since Crowley still had not told them where Mrs. Tran was hidden or if she was even alive, and the King of Hell had escaped the night Sam died.

“So where do you think these sons of bitches are holed up, Cas?” Dean questioned in a businesslike manner.

“I think we should head to Detroit. They always liked the city, for some strange reason.” Castiel started to shake his head in small motions like he was trying to work out the draw to the dangerous, corrupt city. The thoughts were still flying when he felt Dean’s hand slide into his and the hunter interlocked their fingers. He turned his attention to the green eyes in front of him, meeting them with blue. The apprehension he had been feeling about the angels and Detroit and even where things were headed with Dean seemed to melt away as their lips melted together.

The kiss lasted for what seemed like forever, not that either party involved minded. Dean was sure he could have kissed Cas for the rest of his life and never gotten bored. Cas was learning new ways to entice Dean, mostly having to do with some maneuvers with his tongue that Dean practically moaned for. Cas was in the middle of dragging his tongue along Dean’s lower lip when they heard a throat clear.

Kevin was standing in the doorway to the kitchen and tried not to look like he walked in on his parents doing the nasty. Dean and Cas quickly separated, and Cas reached over to the table next to him, where Dean had laid his shirt. Dean looked up to Kevin from where he was still seated and offered an apology with his eyes.

The prophet blinked twice and shook his head, then proceeded into the room with the other two men.

“I heard something about Detroit. Are you headed there for a hunt of something?” The wide eyed boy asked. His dark hair looked damp, so Dean speculated he had just come out of the shower when he heard the two of them speaking about where to find the possibly helpful fallen angels.

Dean saw Cas shoot him a worried glance, and Dean got the message he was trying to convey. It would be far too dangerous for Kevin, especially being a prophet. Dean hadn’t thought he would want to come along, and he was worried.

“Uh, kind of. It’s a search for angels to help with the spell.” Dean hesitantly explained. He shot another weary look at Cas, who stepped behind Dean’s chair. They looked almost like parents in some way.

Kevin’s eyes opened wider, and he neared closer to Dean. “Is there any way I can go with you? I mean, I want to check at home for mom, since I haven’t been able to get back there since the Fall.” It was true, he had been cooped up in the bunker since the Fall, save the one week he went with Garth to the grave. That was the week that Cas came back. Dean was very apprehensive about letting the young man join them, he was only seventeen after all.

“I dunno, Kev—” The hunter was cut off before he could finish his sentence.

“Dean, please. It’s my mom. My mom. I know you wouldn’t hesitate if it was Cas, or even Sam.” Kevin replied. Dean was trapped, he knew he would ask the exact same thing if it were his family. Mrs. Tran was Kevin’s mom and so by extension, she was part of the family. He felt himself sigh at the impasse, then he looked down to Castiel to see if the blue eyes he swam in held any answers. Finding the abyss empty, Dean looked back to Kevin.

Shaking his head, he said “On one condition, short stop. You do what we say when we say it, and no getting into trouble.”

The boy’s face lit up like a Christmas tree and he rushed to throw his arms around Dean in a thankful embrace.

“I promise! Oh thank you so much! I’ll go pack right now!” The prophet excitedly rambled and quickly scurried from the kitchen.

Cas finally took his shirt and pulled it on over his head, then brought his hand up to ruffle his permanently messy hair. Slowly Dean dragged in a long breath. Cas got up from the chair and put Dean in the place he just was. Dean felt warm hands then, on his neck, massaging reassurances into the muscles and nerves that were in knots. The fallen angel continued rubbing Dean’s neck and shoulders until the hunter’s posture relaxed under the touch.

Castiel reached down to where the other man’s hand was set on his leg and intertwined their fingers. Cas pulled the hand until the person attached stood and faced him, hands still locked.

“That was strangely parental.” The ex-angel quipped. This brought an unexpected bloom of pride in Dean, which in turn caused a large grin to appear on his face. Seeing the shine in his green eyes, Cas considered that maybe Dean would someday want to give up the hunter life and start a family. They never talked much about the future beyond ‘ganking’ Metatron, as his boyfriend so eloquently put it. The dark haired man questioned whether Dean was serious about their relationship and would want to move forward. Cas was almost certain that he would love the hunter for as long as he lived, but since the other man so rarely spoke of his feelings, Cas feared his feelings might be unrequited. This thought caused something black and deep to rise up in his chest. Quickly he let his hand drop from Dean’s hold.

The smile on the hunter’s face was replaced almost immediately with concern. He searched his angel’s face for any sign of what caused the sudden change in demeanor. “Cas?” He asked gingerly, trying to avoid startling him further.

The blue eyes met green and tried to convey all the fears with a look. Dean took a step forward as if he understood, and leaned in close. Dean’s lips met Castiel’s with a certain hesitance but also a strong devotion that he hoped would quell the fears rising in his other half. Dean pulled back just a bit, so that his mouth was just out of Cas’s reach. He leaned back in for another and the other man took his tongue into his mouth, letting it explore, even though they had each memorized every inch of the other’s mouth. Cas seized Dean’s lower lip in between his teeth and gently pulled. A soft moan was elicited from Dean.

Suddenly Castiel’s world shifted. He had never known lust like this. The warmth ran down his body and straight to his core. His body shifted closer into Dean, in an effort to express his want, his need to be satisfied in a more intimate way. His partner seemed to realize the heat that transformed the kiss, because Dean’s hands were on Cas in the very next moment. It was almost like there was a live electric current flowing through the both of them. Each touch on Castiel’s skin lit him up like a firework. Dean had no idea his angel contained this urge, but he swallowed it in with every breath they took together.

Finally, Dean stepped back. He needed to restrain himself now, or else he would come undone in his jeans like a teenager. He recalled his first experience with that unfortunate ending, and it drove him to grab Cas’ wrists and pull him toward his room. When they reached their destination, Cas shut the door behind him forcefully. When he turned to Dean, the other man could see his eyes were blown with desire, wanton. He walked to Dean purposefully and met the green eyed man eagerly with a kiss. There was the same hunger in it, the same need, as was there in the kitchen. Dean felt Cas rut against him with fervor. Once again, Dean broke the kiss. The reply from Castiel was a frustrated sigh.

“Cas. Are you sure this is what you want?” Dean asked reluctantly. He needed to be sure there would no regrets on either side. God knew he was ready, hell, he’d been getting off to those blue eyes since they pulled him from Hell. Gripped him tight. The thought of the fallen angel gripping him tight now sent shivers down his spine. He forced himself to look into the eyes of the dark haired man before him. He was answered with a curt nod, and Cas moved to kiss him again. Dean pulled back and Castiel practically whined.

“Castiel. Dammit. Think for a minute, with your upstairs brain.” He chucked a bit, only because Sammy used to tell him that all the time. He forced himself back into the present. Castiel looked pensive in front of him.

“Dean. I am positively sure that I want to have sex with you.” His voice sounded sure, but a blush came and quickly enveloped his neck. Cas knew with all of his heart that he wanted Dean this way, he was just unsure how he would get there. He didn’t want to seem silly, but he had absolutely no idea what to do. Dean was certainly not a virgin and he hasn’t been for so long, he doubts Dean would even remember how scary it feels to be facing the ‘first time’. It was a little intimidating to Cas. Dean has been with so many people intimately, and undoubtably knows all the moves, whereas Cas knows nothing.

“Okay. We’ll take it slow, okay buddy?” Dean reassured Cas. Then the green eyed hunter came to Cas with determination. His hands moved to the rumpled Mickey shirt he was wearing. With a fluid movement, the shirt was across the room. The two were connected, still, by their kiss. Cas tried to copy Dean’s quick removal of the hunters shirt, but failed when Dean’s arm got stuck in the arm hole. Flushed scarlet, Cas backed away to let Dean take it off fully. Dean smiled at the fallen angel and pulled him back into an embrace.

“You’ve gotta be able to laugh at the stuff that goes wrong, or else it’ll be all kinds of awkward. ‘Kay, Cas?” Dean reassured him with a slow kiss. Cas nodded and moved his hands to Dean’s belt buckle. That went more smoothly than the shirt. Luckily, Cas was wearing loose jeans, so Dean had a quick time of removing them. Cas kicked them to the side once they dropped to his ankles and pushed Dean to the bed.

They found a comfortable position, after a few errors, and Cas ran a hand down his boyfriend’s arm. When he reached Dean’s hand, their fingers intertwined. Dean then took his free hand and ran it down the smooth planes of Castiel’s chest. He lingered at his hipbones, taking note of how fantastic and sexy they were, before slipping his hand beneath the waistband of Cas’s boxer briefs. Dean had almost forgotten what the weight of someone else’s dick in his hand felt like. He relished in the warmth and hardness of it before lightly dragging his hand down the length.

Cas was not prepared for the overpowering sensation of pleasure that shot through his body. He threw his head back, closed his eyes, and hissed at the touch. He was so overcome, he almost didn’t hear Dean ask him for the lotion from the bedside drawer. He reluctantly pulled away from Dean to get the bottle the man was referring to. Dean took the lotion from Cas’s hands and in one try, had the bottle open and was squeezing some of the goo into his hand. Once he closed the bottle, Cas heard it clatter against the wall behind him. Dean was quickly back inside his underwear, the cool of the lotion making the sensation of touch even more potent. Dean claimed his mouth once he had set a rhythm on Cas’s leaking cock.

Even though Cas knew this was about a basic as it got, he was still overrun with the pleasure of Dean’s had jerking him like he knew nothing else but how to make him come undone. Soon, however, Dean’s touch was absent. Slightly confused, Cas opened his eyes to Dean wiping his hand and maneuvering himself so he was kneeling in front of Cas. The hunter took a loose end of the sheet and quickly wiped down Cas’s dick. Cas looked down on him and squinted, wondering what Dean was up to.

“Cas, I’m gunna blow you. If that’s okay that is.” Dean warned. The blue eyes widened and he nodded his head in full agreement. Before Dean could bow his head, Cas grabbed his chin and brought the man’s beautiful, freckled face up to his for a deep kiss. Once broken, Dean gave Cas a devilish grin and bent down to take him in his mouth. It had been a long time since Dean had gone down on a man, years in fact. But he still knew what little flicks of his tongue could do. It didn’t take long until Cas was a writhing mess due to Dean’s mouth. When the freckled man knew Cas was close to the edge, he pulled off with an obscene pop. The fallen angel whined and reached for Dean’s hair, to place his mouth back where it belonged, sucking and licking and unraveling him completely. Dean dodged the hands but placed a long, flat swipe up the underside of Cas’s cock. Then, in an insane moment of bravery, Dean took Cas’s entire length down his throat and swallowed.

Cas came with explosions and fireworks behind his eyes. His heart was racing and his hands were shaking but he was in bliss and he felt like nothing could take him down from this high. Dean appeared in his eyes, and the green eyed man captured his mouth in a kiss. He could taste something different on Dean’s tongue. There was a warm saltiness to this kiss. It took him a minute to realize this was what he tasted like. It was shocking, but at the same time, very erotic. Cas felt Dean’s hardness as the hunter laid across him. Cas was almost spent, but he needed to return the favor.

He flipped Dean over so he was lying on his back and Cas felt his erection through his underwear, trepidatiously. He was stunned to see Dean sigh deeply at the touch, almost thrusting his hips. He took his time rubbing Dean’s dick, but after a sharp glare from his partner, removed the fabric separating his hand from Dean’s skin. When it was free, Cas followed Dean’s example and put his lips around the tip, sucking lightly. The hunter moaned audibly, which caused Cas to move down and suck more.

Almost out of instinct, Dean sifted his fingers into Cas’s permanently mussed hair, which only added to the sex hair he had going on anyway. From where he was on Dean’s cock, Cas looked up expectantly, for reassurance that he was doing this right. When Dean’s eyes met Cas’s, he was in awe. He never knew he would love Cas’s mouth around his dick, love the glisten in his eyes from taking him inside fully. Dean smiled at the fallen angel and nodded to keep going, guiding Cas’s head with his hands.

Cas seemed to remember some of the tricks Dean used on him, so he flattened his tongue against the underside of Dean’s shaft. Dean’s eyes rolled back and he breathed in a large sigh. Cas sucked him down further until he hit the back of his throat, and he gagged. Embarrassed, he pulled off of Dean and turned away. He still wanted to finish getting Dean off though, so he lifted his hand to stroke the hunter’s hard dick. It only took a couple more languid touches to get him over the edge. He came in spurts across his bare chest and over Cas’s fist.

Dean was spent. He was also amazingly happy, something he hasn’t felt after sex in a very long time. He looked around to find the rag he kept in the vicinity to clean himself up. After taking care of his stomach, Dean took Cas’s hand in his own, to clean the mess of come there. After his angel’s hand was clean, he twined their fingers together and laid their hands on his chest.

“Castiel.” Dean breathed. The weight of what had been done started to settle around them. Dean was content and happy and so totally in awe of the man lying with him. Cas, on the other hand, was afraid and worried, but at the same time, he felt blessed.

“Was that awful?” Cas questioned. He looked up to Dean with a wary look in his eye and it occurred to Dean that Cas had never been intimate with anyone so he has nothing to compare to what he did, or just how not awful it was.

Dean shook his head, “That was the most awesome thing I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing in years. Years, Cas. Damn, you did good.” Dean praised. Cas’s face lit up and he started to look more sure as he snuggled closer to Dean.

“I am glad you enjoyed it. I was more than thoroughly pleased.” The dark haired man said with a smirk. Dean leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Cas’s hair and ruffled it some. Then he pulled Cas closer and closed his eyes. They fell asleep tangled together and smiling.

~

It was five in the morning and Kevin was up bright and early, ready to leave for Detroit, when Dean strolled out of his room, and he looked like he had a rough night. Dean spotted the prophet and sent his a lazy good morning smile as he went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Kevin was just about to knock on Cas’s door, to see if he was ready to go, or lazy like Dean, when the fallen angel slipped out of Dean’s room looking more haphazard than Dean had. The fallen angel eyed Kevin, blushed a deep red, and hurried off to his own room.

Kevin tried to ignore the previous proceedings by rechecking what he had packed for a third time that morning. It took another thirty minutes for Dean to call out to everyone that it was go time, and then they were off. Dean and Cas in the front seat, which left Kevin to stretch out in the back with his research. Two hours and miles of highway passed until Dean cleared his throat awkwardly.

“So, uh, Kev…” The hunter stumbled around his words. “you…sleep all right? Last night?” Dean asked, hesitantly. He shifted his hands, suddenly sweaty, on the steering wheel in an effort to maintain some composure. Castiel eyed him suspiciously from where he was seated, almost too far away from Dean, by the window.

“Um, yeah. I mean, I didn’t sleep much because of the nerves. It’s been so long since I’ve travelled.” The prophet explained. “So, no, you two didn’t keep me up, if that’s what you’re insinuating.” The tone in his voice was slightly accusatory but slightly lighthearted as well. Dean breathed a sigh of relief at the response. He leaned over in the seat and clasped Cas’s hand in his and drove that way for a good long while, a smile plastered on his tanned, freckled face.

~~

The trio arrived at the motel late in the afternoon two days later. The motel was a dive, even from Dean’s standards. Situated on the corner of Woodward and the infamous 8 Mile, the place looked like it has seen numerous crimes and so Dean reminded himself to sleep without blankets tonight. As the three of them entered their room, Kevin stopped dead in his tracks. He saw an obvious bloodstain in the carpet. Castiel spotted tape peeking out from under the bed, leftover from a crime scene investigation, he assumed. The room was turning into an I Spy game of criminal activity.

Dean walked a short way to the round table in the room and set down his laptop bag. As he pulled up a chair, the other men followed his lead, taking the other two chairs around the table. Dean met Kevin’s eyes for a brief time. Dean could see the anxiousness and fear behind the dark brown. The older man stood and embraced the prophet in a bear hug that rivaled hugs the younger Winchester would give. They released and set to work. Castiel knew of three angels in a five mile radius. The hunter put together a map and a schedule, then called a cab for Kevin.

Cas and Dean saw the boy off to look for his mother. A sad part of Dean wondered if she was even alive. Crowley was another douche that would have to go down after Metatron. Maybe they’d even team up with Abaddon to take him down, Dean thought briefly before rejecting the idea.

The two men got in the car and headed to their first stop of the day: Baker’s Jazz club. The angel who was close with Claire worked at the club. As they parked the Impala in the lot next to the building, Castiel spotted the girl. Her name was Hael, she was wearing a dark blue evening gown and a long coat over. The fallen angel shouted to her. When she turned to look, she saw his iconic trench coat and ran at him, brandishing an angel blade. Dean reacted immediately, throwing himself in between Cas and the new angel.

“Move out of my way, Dean Winchester.” Hael hissed, moving to get at Castiel.

The hunter kept himself in the way of the angel as she tried to step around him. “That ain’t gunna happen. See, you can help us get all you winged babies back to your celestial home in the sky.” Dean countered. He heard Castiel scoff behind him, but he knew from the way the look in the angel’s eyes changed from blood thirsty to intense and curious. Her demeanor changed as well. Her stance became less intruding and her hands fell to her sides. Hael stepped back, still maintaining a firm grip on the blade in her hand.

“Please. Do tell me more, Mr. Winchester.” The angel asked. She looked almost amused at the proposition.

Castiel stepped in with an explanation to give Dean a break from the glare he was on the receiving end of. “Let me explain, sister.”

“You are no longer a brother of mine, Castiel. Not since you helped Metatron cast us all out of Heaven.” Hael retorted.

“Let me speak, Hael. You will know by the end that I did not cast the angels out of Heaven; at least, not intentionally.” He stopped for a breath, as if to gather his thoughts, then began again. “Metatron tricked me into a spell that cast the angels out. I did not know where his heart truly lay. If I had, I would have resisted with the entire fleets of Heaven. We, in turn, have found a spell to ‘blast’ us back to our home. We plan to defeat Metatron there and restore order. To open the Gates again and let the angels return to their home.”

Hael nodded in understanding. “Okay, I heard you. You said I could help. How?”

“We need your Grace-thingie for the spell. Well, not yours specifically but if you cooperate, we’d be really happy.” Dean stated. Cas rolled his eyes at Dean’s lack of respect around the topic. Grace was essentially the angel’s soul, and giving it up would be like selling your soul to a demon. Dean didn’t know, how could he, but still, Castiel was disappointed in his manner of approach.

Hael looked shocked and backed away. “My Grace is the only thing I have left. I do not wish to become human, and there is no way you are taking my Grace.” She insisted defensively. The look on her face was stern, but shifted into something different. “I do, however, know of an angel in the area who has taken well to humanity and most likely wouldn’t mind helping you.”

Dean turned to Cas and smiled with hope. Castiel wondered which of his brothers or sisters to which Hael was referring. Dean went over to take the name and address of the angel in question, while Castiel went to get the car.

When he returned with it, he got out to let Dean drive. They each settled in their respective seats and set off to the location of the new angel. Castiel wondered idly if they will ever be able to set things right in Heaven, and if it was even worth the risk. Both he and Dean were human and without wings, so even if they ended up where they needed to be, Castiel questioned how they would ever be able to leave. Maybe that would be their happy ending. The two of them in a home that the fallen angel remembered from his time in Heaven: a home reserved for the Righteous Man. Maybe they would see Sam and Jess there as well. Castiel thought that would be a wonderful way to spend forever.

Then he thought about Jimmy Novak, his vessel, who had long since made his rightful journey to his place in the Kingdom of his Father. Jimmy had a family, a wife and a daughter. Castiel somewhat longed for that kind of happiness, the one he felt when he first occupied Jimmy’s body. He wanted to be a father, and he wanted a family with Dean. The only problem with this desire was that he didn’t know if Dean wanted to settle down and have a family as well. Sometimes, when he let his fantasies run rampant, he envisioned himself cornering Dean and asking him all the questions he had piling up in his mind. Then when he actually stood up to make his daydreams reality, his throat closed and he got scared. All of the questions added up and cluttered his mind. He would do something about it. Maybe today, he thought.

“Dean.” His voice was shaky, unusual when he spoke to his lover. Immediately, Dean knew something was wrong. He pulled to the side of the road and turned so his entire body was facing the dark haired man.

“Cas, man. What’s wrong?” The hunter’s tone was worried, and his eyes said the same.

“I-I was just worried about Heaven. What if we get there and can’t get back? Not that I wouldn’t mind forever with you, it’s just. There are still things I want to do down here. Things we can’t if we’re, y’know, in Heaven for the rest of eternity.” Cas stumbled out. It sounded like he was in a rush. Dean looked puzzled.

“Things you wanna do here. What things, Cas?” He questioned.

“Uh…” Castiel hesitated. He was unsure of how to proceed. He planned on this conversation taking a different turn. He planned for Dean to focus on the ‘never getting out of Heaven’ part of his ramble.

“Castiel. You know you can tell me anything, right? I-uh, y’know.” Dean said. He nodded his head trying to get his message across. Castiel thought he knew but he wasn’t going to push for answers.

“Well, Jimmy Novak had a profound love for his family, for his daughter Claire. I remember that feeling sometimes, and sometimes I am envious of that love.” The look on Dean’s face shifted significantly. Castiel backtracked. “That’s not to say that you aren’t enough, but some days, I want more. Some days, I want a family. With you.”

The weight of Castiel’s words hit Dean like a freight train. The fallen angel, his angel, loved him and he wanted to have a family. Images of a house like the one he grew up in flooded his mind. He could see a little child playing in the grass. He smiled. Suddenly, the image grew red and flames poured from the house. He could remember his mother screaming from her place on the ceiling. Castiel saw the hunter’s face fall and pulled the man into a tight embrace across the front seat. He didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. Don’t worry about it, Dean.” Castiel reassured. He continued rubbing his partner’s back until his gasps ceased. When he was calm, Dean returned to the driver’s side and put the car in gear. The two drove in silence the rest of the way to the location written on the piece of paper the Dean was white-knuckling. Castiel knew he had made a mistake by bringing up his desires. He should just be happy that he had Dean, the brightest soul in the whole world.

As it turns out, the angel’s name was Gadreel. He was notorious in Heaven. The angel was in charge of guarding Eden, and he let in Lucifer. The hosts of Heaven blame him for the discord with the humans and all of the sin in the human race. The angel had been locked away for as long as Castiel could remember. Even though he never met Gadreel, Castiel was worried that his brother would not help them. In fact, his fear was that Gadreel would try to kill them, even though this fear had no base.

They arrived at the address they were given. The house was modest at best, and not in the best neighborhood. Dean locked up the car, something he rarely did, and led the way to the door. After he knocked, they waited until an old woman appeared at the door. She was hunched from age and grey in the hair and the eyes. She looked at them with puzzled eyes but returned inside with the door open behind her. Castiel and Dean followed apprehensively. The house was dark and musky, and the light from the front door revealed the mess around them. The woman didn’t speak but motioned to a pair of high-backed arm chairs for them to sit in. As they sat, she walked to the staircase and pounded her cane on the ground, almost like she was hollering for someone upstairs. They heard footsteps above their heads and looked over to the staircase.

Boots came into view and the pair stood in wait. Gadreel descended the stairs and passed the old woman. He entered the room and held out his hand for a handshake.

"Hello. My name is Zeke. You are?" Gadreel asked.

Castiel looked at the angel with confusion painted in his expression. His name as he was known in Heaven was Gadreel. Why was he referring to himself as Zeke? Castiel wondered idly before the other fallen angel understood why he was confused.

“Ah. I see you are an angel, or used to be. Let me explain. I have chosen the name of Zeke as a stepping stone to starting a clean life on Earth. I believe I have served my time in Heaven and I have repented and seen the err of my ways. This is my chance for redemption.” Zeke clarified with much conviction.

Dean wondered what he did to make him feel like he needed redemption. He was an angel, after all, and unless he was like Cas, rebellious to all of Heaven’s plans, Dean doubts he has it too bad. Until that moment, Dean was unaware of Castiel and Zeke both staring at him in the creepy ‘angel-with-no-people-skills’ way.

It was Zeke who broke the silence first. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.” He stated while looking at Dean expectantly.

“Uh. The name’s Dean Winchester,” Dean answered. “This here is my-” and then the green eyed man stumbled over his words. He had no idea if he should be telling a freshly fallen angel, who had a large debt to Heaven, about Castiel’s and his relationship.

Thankfully, Cas understood the cue and introduced himself.

“My name is Castiel. I was the one who allowed Metatron to cast all of the angels out of our home.” Dean was not expecting Cas to own up to what he didn’t mean to do, but he rubbed his back in reassurance anyway.

Zeke’s demeanor changed instantly. He became hesitant and distanced himself from Castiel by about a foot.

“Why are you here, Castiel? I have heard rumors that you are Metatron’s puppet.”

“No, I am here because Dean and I are trying to stop Metatron. With the help of our prophet, Kevin,” Castiel explained.

“Do you believe I could help you?” Zeke quizzed.

Dean spoke to save Cas from a verbal lashing he could feel rising in Zeke. “Yeah, man. We need an Angel’s grace, and we heard that you’re taking well to humanity—”

“So you want to take the last part that ties me to Heaven?” Zeke asked in accusation.

“Uh.” Dean didn’t know what to say. Hael told them that he wouldn’t mind. Maybe she set them up. If that was the case, Dean had another name on his kill list after Metatron.

“Are you sure that it will help destroy Metatron?”

Both Dean and Castiel were astonished to find his tone offering. They both nodded simultaneously.

“Fine. I’ll do it.” Zeke stated with finality. He pulled a flask out of thin air, and with quite a lot of concentration, willed his Grace out of his mouth and into the opening of the flask. Once all of the Grace was safely in the flask, he shut the opening and handed it to Castiel.

“Is there anything else you need? Anything at all?” Zeke asked.

“No, thank you so much brother.” Castiel thanked. And with a handshake, they left the little house with the old woman and the now-Graceless angel.

~~

“Kevin, are you totally sure that this is going to work?” Dean asked for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

“Yes, mom. I am almost one hundred percent sure this is going to work.” The prophet replied.

They had all of the supplies and had waited until the day they needed, a full moon. Dean had been anxious for an entire week leading up to the day. He had packed and repacked both his and Cas’s bags at least three times. They didn’t really know what to expect in Heaven, so they prepared for what they would have needed in Purgatory. The time was getting close, so Dean ran back to the bedroom he and Cas now occupied together. He grabbed their bags and took one last look around the room. The things that stood out to him weren’t the guns on the walls or the stacks of old skin mags that he and Sam had discovered in the Bunker’s Library. He went over to the small picture frames on his bedside table. Once he grabbed his three favorites, he left the room without looking back.

Back in the Library, Cas and Kevin had cleared a large circle for the ritual. The oil for the Holy Fire had been laid, and the blood of a Holy man had been made into sigils. It was almost time for them to say their goodbyes. Dean finally strolled into the room with the bags. Castiel noticed a look on Dean’s face that almost resembled sadness. Castiel realized that this was supposed to be Dean’s home now, and he was essentially being ripped from it with no way of knowing if they will make it back. The fallen angel walked up to meet his hunter and hugged him tight to his chest for a while. Somewhere behind them, Kevin cleared his throat.

“Shall we get started?” the prophet asked.

Dean and Cas gave each other a look and enveloped Kevin in a tight familial embrace. Even if he and Dean didn’t make it back, Cas thought, this family was good enough for him. They watched out for Kevin and he respected them as his caregivers. He suspected that was why when they pulled apart, Kevin was crying, Dean had a stern face and Castiel felt wetness on his on face. They all loved each other, even if it was never mentioned, it was truly felt.

They took their places in silence. Kevin gathered his books and ingredients, then he started to recite the spell. Dean and Cas shot each other panicked glances, but went into the circle and held each other’s hands there. Looking at Kevin one last time, the scenery changed around them.

The two were standing in a room that looked much like the Assembly Room at Independence Hall, Castiel recalled. He had only been there once, on God’s errand. He was required to influence the writers of the Constitution to include his Father’s teachings in the makings of law in this new country. He recalled his vessel then, a grey man named James. The history classes now call him ‘The Father of the Constitution’. Castiel’s influence was great in those days.

Dean was extremely confused. Was this Heaven? He was expecting clouds and bight lights and trumpets. Hell, even Ash’s Heaven was better than this, and it was just the Roadhouse. He looked around trying to place exactly where they were, when suddenly, the doors swung open.

“Well, well, what do we have here?” Metatron swaggered over to them. “If it isn’t Heaven’s most rebellious ex-angel and his human pet. Castiel, Dean, welcome.” The two couldn’t move, it was as if Metatron held them there by force. The two of them were still holding hands. In shock, Dean let go and tried to distance himself from his angel. Metatron tsked.

“Now, now, Dean, that’s no use. We all know about the romance you have been building with our little rebel, here. Embrace it, Dean. Play the part.” Metatron made Dean feel like he wasn’t in control, and Dean despised that feeling.

“Listen here, asshat. Your rule in Heaven is over.” Dean said in retort.

Metatron only shook his head and turned to leave the room, with Cas and Dean still stuck in place.

“Metatron.” Castiel said firmly. “Release us, now.”

And with a swift movement of his hand, they fell to the floor. Metatron was gone.

Dean got up first and geld his hand out for Castiel to grab. Once they were both standing, Dean looked at his partner with worry. His expression conveyed fear, which was unlike the hunter. Castiel took Dean’s hand again and walked out of the room, into a grand lobby. Cas heard Dean muttering under his breath.

“This is the place that the United States Constitution was created and signed. It makes much sense for Metatron to have chosen this as his Heaven. It’s a scribe’s paradise.” Dean only nodded. “I was here during the creation of the document. It can’t be coincidence that he chose this place, though. Now that I recall, he might have been there as well.” Dean now looked at him in awe.

“You were here for the creation of the Constitution?” Dean was stunned. He sometimes forgot that Cas used to be a grand warrior of God who has been alive for millennia. Cas nodded and smiled and squeezed Dean’s hand in his. “Wow,” was the only thing Dean could say.

They left the building altogether and were cast into the brightness Dean had been expecting. There were many people milling about outside of the building. Dean was expecting Heaven to be empty, especially since all the angels had been cast out. He had forgotten about all the souls that had made it into the pearly gates before those gates slammed shut. He idly wondered if Sammy made it in.

Just then, a looming figure with a mop of dark brown hair stepped in front of them. They two of them stopped short and looked up at him.

“Sam!” Dean exclaimed and hugged his brother. Castiel was shocked to see Sam. He had figured that the doors slammed shut before he died, and so he didn’t make it in. Even though he was surprised to see the taller man, he was filled with a rush of relief. His soul made it to Heaven.

A savior of the world. Castiel recalled his grave marker. A savior of the world that made it to Heaven despite his digressions. This gave the fallen angel a great hope: maybe he and Dean could make it in as well. Smiling, he gave Sam a hug in turn.

“Cas, Dean, it’s so good to see you. What are you both doing here?” Sam’s face conveyed worry. “You didn’t… y’know…?”

“Naw, Sammy, we didn’t kick it. We’re up here on a mission. Ganking Metatron.” Sam looked almost relieved at Dean’s words. The moose of a man embraced them both again. Then looked down at their still entwined fingers.

“Dean?” Sam gestured at their hands.

Dean held their hands up proudly. “Sammy, Cas and I are together now. Like, well, not boyfriends really, but not like husbands either. Uh.”

Castiel saved the day when he interjected, “We’re partners, lovers, together.” Cas smiled at Sam with a sincere happiness in his eyes.

“I’m so happy you both finally got your heads out of your asses and saw that, jeez.” Sam said. “I’ve been suffering years of longing stares and awkward moments.” He smiled and laughed when he saw the mortified faces of the couple in front of him. Then his face shifted.

“Dean!” A high pitched squeal came from behind the pair. They turned to see a bouncing blonde with a thousand-watt smile bounding to them. Dean had seen her before. When had he seen her before?

“Jess. You obviously remember my brother, Dean. This is his partner, Cas.” Sam smiled again when she came over to his side.

Jess.

That’s why he remembered her. He definitely remembered the name from Sammy’s nightmares, but long ago had forgotten her face amid the flames. Although he didn’t seem to remember how he could forget that chest of hers. Dean mentally slapped himself on the back of the head for that. Sammy did well, Dean thought.

“Cas, it’s a pleasure. I’ve been hearing so much about you; all good things!” Jess kept with that smile that rivaled Sam’s. Soon, though, her face changed to something graver.

“May I ask? What are you two doing up here? No soul has been able to get through for months.” She worried.

Dean explained, “We’re here to defeat the asshole that closed the Pearly Gates in the first place.”

She nodded in understanding. “If y’all need a place to stay, our house is always open to you.” She and Sam smiled again and started walking away.

Dean wasn’t ready for them to go. He had been without his brother for almost a year.

“Sammy! Wait a minute!” Dean called after him.

Sam turned to look at his brother. He raised his eyebrows in question.

“I think you should do this with us Sammy. Let’s finish it for once.” Dean pleaded.

Sam looked to Castiel for some reassurance to Dean’s plan, but the fallen angel looked as stunned as Sam felt.

“Dean. I don’t know if I should.” Sam began. He felt Jess’s hand on his back, pushing him to his brother. He looked down at her incredulously. She returned with a stern nod and another push in Dean’s direction.

“Okay. So! Where to Sammy?” Dean asked.

Sam led the way to an exquisite library that Castiel remembered fondly. He spent many hours in this Heavenly trove of intelligence learning about human behavior and also about the layers of Hell he would have to fight through to get to his human’s damned soul, if he was unsuccessful in bartering for it before it was dragged down. It worked out that he was unsuccessful, but his hours spent in that library paid off. He still remembered the locations of all the books he studied preparing to free Dean, the man he watched over unknowing that he was the legendary Righteous Man.

Sam led the way to the section that contained the virtual maps of Heaven. Castiel remembered this place fondly from his time as a fledgling. He loved the room they were in, it was almost like an astronomy projection room. The ceiling was high, the walls were dark, and the lighting low. It felt cozy. He loved how rarely he saw other angels there, he felt like it was his own personal sanctuary. That was before human souls were allowed in the library. Until Metatron took power, humans were only allowed knowledge given to them by angels, which was often unreliable at best.

The younger Winchester took a place in front of the computer screen that controlled the projections. He pulled up the entire map of Heaven, then zoomed in on Metatron’s personal Heaven, where the couple had just been. The map showed a tiny yellow glowing dot, indicating that an angel was in that place. The dot seemed to be pacing an office, it was probably the head honcho himself.

“This is where he seems to spend all of his time,” Sam said, like he was familiar with the map and Metatron’s actions. He explained. “When I made it through, I’m pretty sure I was the last one in. Well, I looked around, curious and all, and I saw Metatron instructing souls to close the Gate. I was confused to say the least, so I went looking for answers. As it turned out, all of the angels got blasted to Earth. That explained the falling stars I shot past on my way up. Anyway, I followed the creep after I figured out what happened. Dude’s meticulous: eats at the same table in the same cafe and orders the same meal then goes to the same office and does the same pacing, everyday.” Sam had the same knowledge they did about Metatron, all but the routine thing, which was pretty useless. They didn’t know much. Dean looked again at the map in front of them, and while he was watching, another light appeared on the map beside Metatron. This dot, however, was bright white. It was much larger as well. Castiel remembered seeing this light as a young thing, no one in all of Heaven has that light signature except for one.

God.

“The Big Man is here? Really?” Dean was full of wonder and curiosity, as was Sam. But this was Castiel’s Father. The fallen angel was more than curious, he was angry.

Some nerve he’s got, Cas thought. After all these years and the Angel War and the apocalypse he decided to show up now. He was furious. What gall! He brought Cas back more times than once but never thought to have an audience with him, or even send a sign that He was alive and okay? For all these years Castiel had thought that his Father abandoned the entire universe: His own creation and His own children. But it turns out He was alive and knowledgeable the whole time and did nothing. Castiel fumed.

Dean seemed to notice his partner was ill at ease and turned to look him in the eye. “Cas, buddy, what’s wrong?” He sounded sincere, but Cas still gave him a cold response.

“You’re so in awe, that God is here. Well guess what, He’s my Father. The one who abandoned me! I’m sorry but you don't get to be in awe, Dean Winchester, nor you Sam.” Dean and Sam were taken back by Cas’s harsh words, but understood fully his resentment to a disloyal dad. Dean nodded and Sam offered a polite apology and they stood staring at each other for a minute.

Cas spoke first. “How about we go and see why my wonderful Father has decided to come back after all these years.” His tone was laced heavy with sarcasm and Dean almost scoffed. It was so brazen and unlike his angel, but deep down he loved it. “Oh I have missed Him so!” Cas added for theatrics, and Dean did bust out laughing. Sam joined shortly after and they were soon laughing so hard they could cry as they walked to Metatron’s Heaven.

~~

“Ahh, I think we have company, Scribe.” A voice sounded from the other side of the door. The trio backed away as the door opened to reveal a room unlike the one Dean and Castiel were in previously. They walked into the room and took in the surroundings. Wall to wall were books, and from what Sam could see, they were the classics and bestsellers from every age. He hated to admit that he had read most of them, even Twilight. More looking around revealed that Metatron had been tied to a chair in front of the rather large fireplace. Another man sat next to him, looking pleased at the interruption.

“My children! Castiel! My, humanity suits you well, my son.” The man practically glowed seeing Cas. Dean stepped in front of his lover to defend him from the words God said. “And Dean Winchester, the Righteous Man, I believe my children called you. I like you Dean, I’ve been watching you and Castiel here—”

“It’s just Cas, actually. Seeing as the —iel means ‘of God’ and you weren’t around and things went to shit and Cas became human. Don’t act like you know him or us, because you’ve been gone and have no right to know us.” Dean cut Him off. Dean cut GOD off. There’s gotta be some layer of Hell to suffer in for that one.

“But Dean, I do know you. And I know of Castiel’s, Cas’s, valiant effort to keep you humans safe.” Suddenly His form changed from the God most commonly pictured: long grey beard, open arms, someone you could hug, to a very familiar prophet they once knew. Dark hair, dirty, grungy clothing, and an alcohol bottle in hand.

Chuck?

Dean and Cas were stunned into silence but Sam was not.

“Chuck?”

“Sam, it’s so nice to see you. I’m so terribly sorry about your end.” God, Chuck, Whoever said.

Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“If you were God the whole time, why didn’t you say anything to me? Why, Father?” Cas spoke with a childlike innocence. It made Dean sad to hear him hurt and confused, so he surrounded his partner with arms of compassion. Cas melted into the arms around him but kept his eyes on God in front of him.

“Why? Castiel, if you knew, if anyone knew who or where I was, they would have killed me. That’s why I left in the first place. Naomi and her predecessors were about to sabotage Heaven and overthrow the archangels and me with it. I left, it was childish, but it saved Heaven for a while longer. I want you to know that I am so very proud of you, Cas.” He paused after the nickname, it sounded so foreign in His mouth. “You selfless creature, so full of compassion, you saved Dean from the Pit. I am so proud that you saved his soul.” Turning to Dean now, he spoke. “I give my son to your keeping, Dean Winchester. If you make it out of here, which, with my help, you should, I expect you to know that if you break his heart, if you hurt him in any way, I swear to myself, I will send you back in that Pit.”

Dean nodded with ferocity, tugging Cas tighter to his chest. God chuckled and turned back to Metatron, who was still tied to the chair, watching what happened in awe. Chuck tsked at him, “It’s very rude to eavesdrop, Scribe. Did no one ever teach you that? Ah, no matter. What to do with you, hm? Shall we smite? Always a fun one, smiting. Shall we send locusts? How about a flood? No?” The trio could see Metatron shaking his head violently and squirming in his chair.

“Maybe we could lock him up and let him deal with his shame while you claim the throne again, Father.” Cas, always the just one, suggested.

God tilted his head and turned to look at them. Slowing he nodded his head and snapped his fingers so that all five of them were in Heaven’s jail. Dean actually laughed out loud at the irony and received a sharp jab in the ribs from Sam in response. God manhandled Metatron out of the chair and into a cell. Once the door was locked and secured, God turned to the three men and snapped his fingers again, with a wink. At this rate, Dean wasn’t going to be able to poop for days. Which, when he thought about it, was a very bad thing. Damn, he thought, I sure hope this God guy isn’t a mind reader. Then many fantasies of Cas fucking him and him fucking Cas filled his mind and those fantasies seemed to give a hint to his cock because he could feel it twitching.

“Right, Dean?” He heard someone say. God, God said that. Oops, he had to be able to explain this, he thought. Right until he saw the smirk on the fake prophet’s face that told him all he needed to know. Dean mentally kicked himself as he asked to have the question repeated. As it turned out, the question asked was simple. Did he want to go home? Simply, yes, he did want to go home. To the bunker, to his room with Cas in his bed, to his shower that had the pressure of the gods. The one thing he didn’t want to leave was Sam, though.

“Hey, Sammy, can we go somewhere to talk?” Dean asked his brother quietly. Sam nodded and led the way to a lake with a pier that looked like one of the places Bobby took them as kids. Dean looked at Sam with the question in his eyes. Sam nodded knowingly.

“This is that place in New York that Bobby used to take us to. This has become a nice place for Jess and I to come to. It’s nice up here: Heaven, I’ve got all the happy places and happy memories,” Sam looked down and smiled. “You would really love it here. There’s that diner we went to in Minnesota with that awesome pie you liked. How are things back home…er, I mean, on Earth?” Sam corrected himself. Heaven was his some now, his home was with Jess as well, like it always has been.

Dean looked at his brother. He smiled. He told Sam about Kevin and about life in the bunker. He told Sam about the first night that he and Cas fell asleep, tangled together, and how he woke up feeling happier than he had been in his whole life. He told him about Disney World and Dean’s brilliant plan to kiss Cas there, and about how it was the greatest thing he ever did. He also told Sam about Cas’s desire to start a family.

“Sam, I’m scared. I don’t know how to do family right. Dad didn’t leave a good model and mom died before we could really know her. I want what Cas wants, but whenever I look forward to see it, all I see is a burning house. I can’t do that again, Sammy.” Dean voiced his concerns with a small voice that was so unlike the hunter, who was usually so sure in his words.

Sam embraced Dean from where he was seated on the pier. He let go then and started to speak. “You can’t prevent yourself happiness just because you’re scared. I was scared when I left home for Stanford. I was scared to ask Jess out, but look where I am. I mean not really, but I’m happy at least. You deserve happiness more than anyone else I know, Dean. To me, it looks like you’re happy with Cas.”

“I really am. He’s my everything,” Dean stated simply. “You’re my brother though, Sam. I don’t want to leave you again. It was hard enough the first time, yanno? Losing you put me in such a bad place. I can’t go back there, man. Not while I’ve got Cas now. He doesn’t need to see me like that.”

Sam sighed deeply. “I am happy here. Here, Dean. You won’t be. There are still things you want to accomplish, I know there are. Think about Cas, here, as well. He wouldn’t be happy here for the rest of eternity, he wasn’t happy when he lived here to begin with. I know you wouldn’t make him stay here if he would hate it. He would hate it. You would hate it if he was unhappy.”

Dean understood where Sam was coming from, and he nodded. Cas would hate it if he was stuck up here, and Dean would never want to see his angel unhappy. His mind was made up. Still a part of him held on.

“Sammy. Come home with us.”

Sam laughed and walked away from the pier.

“Dean, you know I can’t come. Will you be all right?” They were walking to the Big Pearly Gates now, and Sam was worried. Sam was very happy here with Jess, who he saw was standing at the gate waiting for them. Dean wanted an apple pie life, where he didn’t have to deal with the supernatural. This was his chance. God offered them complete asylum and sanctuary from all angels and demons and ghosts and werewolves and vampires and leviathan and whatever other ugly that goes bump in the night. He could finally get out, grow old, have a family with Cas. Sam wanted to stay with his brother, but wanted his happiness desperately.

“I’m just gonna miss my kid brother is all.” Dean said finally and ruffled Sam’s hair playfully, like he did when they were kids. Sam grabbed Dean for a moose sized hug. When they let go, Dean went over to where Cas was standing with God. He stood back until the two finished their sentiments. Then Cas turned and took Dean’s hand in his. God laid a hand on both of their shoulders and gave Castiel to Dean again. This time, however, rings appeared on each of their fingers. Dean looked down in shock while Cas gazed on his in awe.

“I guess we’re married now, Cas.” Dean jested, although, he smiled from ear to ear in pure happiness. Cas grabbed his new husband’s face and kissed him silly. They kissed for just long enough to make Sam and God uncomfortable at the public display, and then let go, laughing together at the looks on their onlookers faces. Dean looked down at his ring again and then to Cas, his angel, his husband, his forever.

It was now or never, and Dean Winchester was not likely to fuck up the one perfect chance he was getting.

“Castiel Winchester, I love you.”

There was no stutter, no hesitation, no provocation. Dean said those five words with the most conviction he has ever had in his entire life. Dean was not loose with the L-word, he hardly ever said it, except to Sam once in a blue moon. They all looked at Dean and Dean stared at Cas, and by some miracle Cas didn’t run away.

“Dean Winchester, I love you too. Don’t you ever doubt that.”

Dean was in awe, and he looked at Cas and he glanced at Sam. Sam gave him thumbs up as Jess wrapped her arms around him. For the first time in forever, both of the Winchester boys were happy. Dean smiled and turned to God, who gave Dean a look of question from where he was standing at the open Gates.

“Are you ready?” He asked, and Dean felt Cas nod against his shoulder.

“Beam us down, Scotty.” Dean said, and with a flash of light, they were in the bunker’s library.

Kevin was obviously unprepared for their arrival, as he was dancing around in his underwear singing ‘Holding Out for a Hero’ by Bonnie Tyler at the top of his lungs. When he turned and saw them hand in hand watching him, he flushed a bright red and shut up completely. Dean was laughing so hard he could barely speak.

“B-Bonnie Tyler?” Dean got out between gasps of air. If it was possible, Kevin turned more red than he was before.

Cas looked around and spotted several bottles of Dean’s whiskey and several more empty cans of beer. Kevin hiccuped and his hands shot up to his mouth.

“Are you drunk?” Cas asked intuitively.

Kevin hiccuped again and Dean shook his head sternly.

“You are grounded, prophet. You hear? No…books for a week! And no more booze without me until you're of age! Now get to your room, kid.” Dean didn’t ever yell at Kevin, and he didn’t plan to start, but every now and again, the boy needed a stern reminder of what he was and wasn’t allowed. Dean spotted Cas’s eye from the entry way to the library and turned to face him.

“Was that, was that the right thing to do? Grounding him? Cas, we don’t know if his mom is alive or dead and he needs some guidance. I don’t want to parent him, but I kinda need to. I don’t k—.”

He was cut off with a warm, slow kiss from his new husband. Hm, husband, Dean could get used to calling him that. He remembered a conversation they had before they went up to Heaven, and he didn’t cringe at the thought. He broke away from Cas’s hungry lips to sit him down and have a serious discussion. The type of talk he usually put aside until it couldn’t wait any longer, but this time, he couldn’t wait any longer. He wanted this, needed this.

“Heya, Cas? You remember that thing you asked about before we went up?” He was being vague but he knew from the look in Cas’s eyes that the fallen angel knew exactly what he was thinking. Cas nodded, but stayed quiet.

“Well, I was kinda thinking maybe we could give that whole family thing a try. You know, do it all proper. Adopt some baby and raise it right. You and me. Since we don’t have to deal with the whole ‘save the world’ business anymore. Metatron’s done, Crowley dropped off the planet, and Abaddon is in someone else’s hands. We can have an actual shot at an apple pie life, together. Happy.” Dean didn’t really know what Cas would do. He was hoping he wouldn't get all chick flick moment on him, but true to form, Cas had tears in his eyes.

“Dean, I would love that. Yes. A million times yes.”

And in six months time, they had adopted a beautiful baby girl with blonde ringlets. They named her Mary Jessica and they told her every night that she had angels watching over her. They even met her guardian angel once, and were surprised to see that it was not their first time meeting. The angel Hael, who claimed her home in Heaven once again, was looking over the youngest, newest Winchester. Dean made her promise not to fall in love with their daughter, but she assured them both that their story was rare.

Dean had to agree. Their love story started out as nothing more than a supernatural alliance but turned into a friendship. Most importantly, however, it turned into a love that would burn on all their lives. One that would endure anything, be it burnt toast or spilled milk or Angel Wars or the Apocalypse or even death. It was a love that rivaled all the great love affairs in literature: Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler, Cinderella and Prince Charming. There would be a new couple among the greats: Castiel and Dean Winchester. It wasn’t a typical story, nor was it the happiest, but it was a fire that burned brighter than the sun. All of the creatures that roamed both Heaven and Earth knew that the love between Dean and Castiel was something to be treasured, and it was something that went down in history.

This is the story of a match, literally, made in Heaven. This is the story of Dean, the Righteous Man, and Castiel, the Angel who saved him. This is the story Mary will tell her children, and they will tell theirs. This is the greatest love story ever told.