you know how if you ask someone where they are from, they’ll tell you their country of origin like “Norway” or “India” or whatever but Americans are all “my parents are originally from ohio but i’ve lived in utah forever until i moved to houston- NY not TX haha” 

okay ashleigh you could’ve just said usa, but no you expect the whole world to know every state in your country when your 23 year old ass can’t point to china on a map. so now i’m on urban dictionary bc i thought SoCal is an artificial sweetener

aphilologicalbatman

THIS IS MY FAVORITE DUMB AMERICAN THING??? it captures the entire experience of being an American. it seems super dumb and self-centered to anyone who isn’t from here but it is completely comprehensible to any other American and also NECESSARY because most states are size of European nations and we have the same weird hateful feelings towards one another??? so I need to explain to you why you shouldn’t hate me like, bitch, you better not think I live in Texas bc fuck those guys MY STATE DIDN’T VOTE FOR GEORGE BUSH

yesterday, @freekicks accidentally referred to California as a country and I launched into a spiel about how we’re big enough and have the fifth largest economy in the world (SUCK OUR DICK) and she told me to go fuck myself and that’s how you know I’m a Californian (and she is a New Yorker)

but ALSO we are intensely competitive about how authentically whatever we are so you can’t just say you’re from New York when you really grew up in MINNESOTA and just moved to New York as an adult so I need to tell you that my FAMily is from SoCal and I spent a bunch of my childhood there bc I can’t say I’m Californian just bc I’ve lived here for four years DOESN’T COUNT

but I am Californian bc I’m a snotty asshole and also I say “the 5” when I’m talking about freeways and I eat too many avocados and I know how to pronounce Vallejo and La Jolla

Other Americans may find the distinctions important, but it still absolutely comes across as dumb and self-centred to the rest of us xD

I mean, it’s been over six years since it happened, but I still distinctly remember the first time I heard an American answer that question with “the USA”. It was his first time hanging out with my friendship group, and there were maybe a dozen of us there from as many different countries – and every single one of us was like wait, what??!?

Literally before any more introductions could happen, the entire conversation devolved into the rest of us bitching about how Americans always expect the rest of the world to know and care about the differences between their states and cities. (As if other countries don’t have deeply entrenched local identities and rivalries. And the size argument falls a bit flat when you’ve got people from China, Australia and Brazil in the room.)

In this case it turned out our new American friend had spent quite a few years living in Europe, where he’d picked up on the fact that this is something that the rest of the world finds slightly exasperating.

On the flip side, as an American who intensely identifies as being from her home state, Delaware, and who intensely feels a deep loathing for New Jersey, and when asked where I am from will say Delaware but more importantly, southern Delaware since there is a deep cultural divide in my home state… it’s always weird to me people don’t say like province/area/city and just say the country. 

A lot of Americans honestly think of themselves as their state/home city before we think of ourselves as Americans.

It gets easier if you view the US as kinda like the EU - a bunch of separate city states waffling towards a common goal and global front.    The US isn’t like most countries in that all the little sub-areas (states, territories, regions, whatevs) are minorly important, each state in the US is like its own little country, so they absolutely do get as nationalistic about them as everyone else does.

That’s exactly it. The government structure is similar to that also. And admittedly my thing is when I would tell people I’m from America, they assumed LA or NYC. And that’s definitely not true.

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    thiiis! like, yes, ofc the fact you’re from SoCal means something for someone who’s from TX. same as it’s important to...
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    exactlyjust recently someone asked me where im from, i said germany, he went oh, yeah i’ve been to europe, we were in...
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    My Japanese roommate in college liked to visit different states on break just to see as much of the cou try as she...
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