We all come into this world helpless, unable to control much, and so reliant on others to survive….but with an unconscious trust and desire for those needs to be met. We cried when we needed to, we ate, we reached out for touch, to be held. And when life has brought us to our knees, when difficulty persists and we have no idea what the future holds, a simple question can get us through:
What would a baby need right now?
Carl Jung’s naming of the “shadow” and how to actually do the work, the internet rediscovers Tracy Chapman at the Grammys but it’s her mind-blowing 1988 performance that’ll change you, writing prompts for the crescent moon, and more about Internal Family Systems, or "IFS": a therapeutic modality that you might not know about but definitely should.
There's a really helpful and simple practice for creating the year that you want: you choose a word to center. This word could be a feeling, type of experience, even a color – it just needs to nudge something within you. (If you already do this, I have one more tip for you below - a way to harness the magic in your word.)
Even when you’re committed to a minimalist season, there’s so much pressure during the holidays.
Our brains can come up with frantic questions to munch on (Am I doing enough? Can I afford this? Who am I forgetting?) but there are better questions to ask - ones to help you sort the outer noise from the inner calm.
Sit in the bath and ponder these, write a few out in your journal, or chat them out with someone you love. May they anchor and calm you to truly enjoy the beauty of this season.
There's a photo that’s fascinated me since the first time I saw it. It's of my mom on her fourth birthday, which I know because of the inscription on the back. She’s nuzzling her own mother, both of them seated on the stage of a sixties-era venue, and my grandmother is gazing into the distance with a smile. It’s a very sweet moment. It’s also a very strange photo for me, because I never knew them like this. The relationship I knew of my mom and her mom was one of seething anger (my grandma’s) and constant hurt and defensiveness (my mom’s.) Theirs was a pain that began long before I arrived, but that cast a shadow over my childhood, and everything in my mother’s life.
I used to be so afraid of talking about my addiction. For years I'd only disclose it in the confines of recovery meetings, one on one conversations, and if I thought it would help someone struggling. It could have stayed like that. But part of how I got sober was through other people’s stories - even if those people didn’t stay sober themselves.
I planned to write to you about the breathwork ceremony I’m having Sunday, but then yesterday there was another mass shooting. I planned to write to you about the breathwork ceremony, but there is a war in the middle east, one causing so much death and destruction that it’s difficult to even fathom. At times like these, is it indulgent or tone-deaf to be prioritizing self-care practices like breathwork? Quite the opposite - here’s why.
Sign up with your email for tips and inspiring stories, sneak peaks of new books, and seven questions you’ll wish you asked delivered straight to your inbox.
IMPORTANT: if you don't immediately get a "please confirm" email, check your spam/promotions folder. If it's not there please directly email me at Melissa@followyourfirecoaching.com.