Boys don't understand
It’s not about you…
When I seductively gaze into your eyes
It’s not about you…
When I strike up conversation, seem interested in whatever you say and laugh at your lame jokes
It’s not about you…
When my fingers lock into yours and I run my fingers through your hair
It’s not about you…
When we kiss passionately and I let you caress my ass
I am your muse
Your ears glow with the gooey words dripping out of my mouth, proclaiming everything you want to hear
Your feet run at the chance to impress me and grab my attention
Your thoughts, high on happiness, spill like black ink creating a rainbow of stunning clutter
Who would’ve thought that my soft lips, the same lips that made fireworks go off in your head and created a lively paradise in your stomach, would be the poison that crumbled down the mighty fortress of your being
Who would’ve thought that my beautiful eyes, the same mesmerizing eyes that made streams laugh, trees sing and sunsets cry; would burn your fingers, rot your mind and eat your soul.
Who would’ve thought that the gardner who managed to grow flora in your heart’s dessert would be the one raining fire on all your memories, hopes and dreams. Burning them to a crisp as they beg for mercy, beg for a chance to prove themselves worthy of life… of love
My actions causing us to crash are fuelled by my inability to cope with the hardships of reality
My distorted views of love stem from my brainwashed brain romanticizing romance
I ponder if instead of the dragon, the knight is supposed to be slain
To avoid confrontation
To avoid pain
You don’t understand…
That when I kiss you it’s not because I like you, fell for the cheese you call charm, or admire your accented appearence
I kiss you because I’m sad
Because I’m hurt
Because I’m lonely
Because I’m lost
Because I’m empty
Because I want to forget
Because it will make me seem cool and confident when my spirit consist of more cracks than spirit
When my perfect teeth hide broken thoughts
When my long curly lashes don’t fan away the dust of misery
When my cleavage distracts from the repugnant mess behind the cage where my heart’s supposed to be
I wish I could say “I love you” without the fear of loving you
“I care about you” without the fear of caring about you
“I trust you” without the fear of trusting you
But most of all I wish I could say all these things and mean it
Cause lying is the only shade of makeup that doesn’t suit me well, creeps under my skin and haunts my heart