Soooo many pictures. Too many for the Twitters, so I’m dusting off the ol’ Tumblr.

In anticipation of next season’s American Gods, my girlfriend and I visited the House on the Rock. It’s a little hard to explain, but here’s the short version: an architect/engineer climbed up a rock and built Frank Lloyd Wright’s worst nightmare. It struck Neil Gaiman so deeply he included it as a critical location in American Gods, and it’ll be featured in season 2 of the Starz series.

So we went. Behold.

This was what greeted us when we pulled up: a ¾ full parking lot, and a big one at that. I was a little surprised; Gaiman’s descriptions of the place gave me a seedier, hole-in-the-wall vibe, but this looked like some mid-level theme park entrance. Hmm. 

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We started the tour and ventured around … and I was starting to think we came to the wrong place. Sure, the statue in front was kind of iffy, and some of the rooms looked a little retro, maybe gauche … but not the mindfuck I had anticipated.

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Then … then we came to the Infinity Room.

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… um. Okay. Hey, there’s a glass floor at the midway point, what’s under ther–

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What are those, bushes? Wait … treetops?

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HOLY FUCK YOU BATMAN IT’S AN UNSUPPORTED ROOM HANGING OUT OVER A FUCKING CLIFF YOU GO JUMP UP AN ASSHOLE

(It also creaks and sways. I thought it was just an old house, not a FUCK YOU CLIFF OF DOOM.)

Once back on solid ground, we found a door.

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After that, shit got … weird.

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I call this the Impractical Rejected Weapons from Fallout 3 collection.

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Including a literal HAND CANNON. What the what?

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Um.

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This is getting unsettling.

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The pooping dog piggy bank’s eyes won’t stop following me.

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Ooohhhkay … hey, look!  Another one of them doors!

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I wonder what’s behind this–

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… well, I would have never guessed “replica American Main Street inside a house.” You win this round.

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“I wish I was BIG.”

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And because why the hell not, he’s a goddamned carnival pipe organ.

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Then we came to this sign.

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What? Bullshit. Bullshit you have a whale in this house. I will *shit myself* if you have a whale in th–

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OH FUCK YOU MATE.

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NO FUCK YOU THAT IS A THREE STORY TALL WHALE.

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THAT IS A THREE STORY TALL WHALE FIGHTING A GIANT SQUID IN YOUR HOUSE YOU HAVE TOO MANY DRUGS

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YOU PUT A FUCKING MOTORBOAT IN ITS MOUTH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU

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THIS DUDE GETS IT.

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“I have seen some shit.”

And after the whale was just menagerie after menagerie of random audacious bullshit.

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“Hello, I’ll be waiting in your closet tonight.”

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“YOUR SILENCE GIVES CONSENT.”

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Okay, this made me smile.

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Fun fact: Burma Shave ads were the precursor to WTFIWWY.

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Wait, where is that noise coming fro–

Oh yeah! There’s a HUGE assortment of these weird mechanical music machines assembled from real instruments, electronics, pneumatics, and madness.


But it doesn’t stop there.

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Then we stumbled on the “Abominations in the Sight of God” section.

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And at the very end … this. If you’ve read American Gods, you know *exactly* what this is. If you’re only watching the show, consider this spoilers for season 2.


Then we went outside, and there was a kitty.

I petted the kitty.

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The end.

Bonus: Here is a machine that perfectly replicates the sound of Steve Martin falling down a flight of stairs.

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