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Imaginary exposure therapy after emdr was too tough

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Lily D.

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I have been diagnosed with CPTSD after having suffered multiple traumas over the course of my life (I'm 28). Ever since I was diagnosed at age 18, I've been in and out of several therapies including two tries of EMDR which I haven't been able to finish sucessfully because I responded way too severely (according to my therapist).
Basically what happened was that I internalised the traumas to the point where my mind was kind of ok-ish, but I was getting a lot of physical symptoms instead. During EMDR sessions I got so depressed at first, until my mind was throwing up obstacles and I started to feel it in my body more than my mind, and I didn't process - so the EMDR didnt have its effect.

To give a little bit more background, as a child, I've had to vist the hopsital a LOT for various health issues - and so several "hospital themed" things trigger major PTSD for me (taking blood, the smell of alcohol, seeing surgery rooms/equipments, etc etc. Next to that, I am the victim of sexual assault on various occassions throughout my teens and early twenties including a rape, plus a few "minor" (I say minor because they weren't violent) traumas like bad relationships and being bullied at school. All of these are things I have flash backs about and that still induce anxiety.

I am now in Imaginary Exposure therapy which is supposed to be less severe / more controllable, but I am finding this really really tough as well. I am allowing my feelings to come out more though, which is good, were it not for the fact that we are only dealing with one small part of one trauma, not even the whole thing because I couldn't handle that. It makes me really despare since this trauma is only one of many many more and I can't bear to think that this will be my life for ever (I am attempting to finish my studies, I'm not working and I manage very little else activity in my life, I even need help doing groceries, etc.).

Anybody who has been through this as well? Does it get better?
 
I have been diagnosed with CPTSD after having suffered multiple traumas over the course of my life (I'm...
Hi
I am going through this right now. I am hanging in there. It is hard. Sometimes i feel like i am not making prigress because my emotion get overwhelming and i sabatage the process. I let my anticipation get i. The way. I want result now. I have noticed rvertime i break the cycle it gets hard and i am on this rollercaoster and again. Processing Deeply. Not understanding. But i tell you almost a year into this i have made a great deal of progress. I finally see the green light my focus is better. I see what is going now not so much of my past. I have to make a living. And take care of my finances. Yated me to keep working. I had a daughter in collge. That was my motivater. I had some one counting on me. When i didnt that was hard on me. And i was counting on me. I hope you get better. This is real. I look back and i dont like it. I look forward and i see what is hsppening now and i can make a few plans and do them.
 
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