It was a little more than six years since my mother had her first shot. Two years later, another shot killed him. After
my 93-year-old father moved to an assisted living center and
respiratory failure became his newly diagnosed terminal by placing him
in palliative care. My mother is struggling with advanced dementia, and my father was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.
This chapter of my life has been chapters already written the most difficult. It is not only because of the diseases that my parents and my husband's parents have, but also by my constant to preserve their dignity during the last days / years of their awakened life.
By nature, I am not a very patient person. I am a type personality with the desire to do everything as quickly as possible and move on to something else. They also tend to people and stop interrupting their sentence for them when I think they take too long to talk.
Add to that the fact that I am a perfectionist, so I really want things well. Not particularly "My Way", but at least in a way that I feel comfortable.
It is therefore obvious that preserving the dignity of another person is not something that comes naturally ... and preserving the dignity of the elderly is even more difficult because of its ability to do things in decline / think quickly And completely.
However, I have found an ability to respond to many of the situations / conversations that inevitably occur in a very creative way, hoping that in fact, preserve their dignity.
The first reason is simply the ability of God in my disability. I often prayed for my shortcomings in this area do not affect the members of my family that I care so much. I can testify to the fact that often surprises me how much patience they have during difficult times. There is no other explanation that God does this against me.
The second reason is that I am in the management of several companies owning certain companies. This forced me to learn how to mediate in difficult negotiations in order to bring everyone together to solve problems.
The last reason is that I find that I am able to laugh and flee a problem to talk about spreading potential fights.
Let's face it ... working with elderly parents is often a battlefield if you want it or not. They have their way of thinking and doing ... and have made things their way of life. When we arrived with new ideas and suggestions, no matter how good these ideas and suggestions might be, there is a natural answer to having a negative reaction. So here are the details on how you can make these conversations easier, and hopefully more successful.
1. Explain things thoroughly with an explanation of why you feel something is a good idea.
2. Use the "I" statements when you have difficult talks about using "you" (figuratively pointing his finger).
3. At some point helps to spread a tricky situation if you start a conversation with "It really is not easy to blaze a path in this conversation. (Smile) So I'm going to jump right. "That way, you're not trying to walk on eggs, knowing something difficult will be discussed and not really choosing if they want to talk or not. However, since you are the one who made the decision to jump right, their dignity is preserved because they have the ability to respond as they want what you have to say.
4. Be always ready to hear things that you have heard over and over again and practice the answer with new comments or facial expressions (or both) do not reveal what they said before. If they ask if you have said something as previously honest and let them know if they have.
5. Involúcalos with simple comments or even ask questions when you are on slow walks to the car, to the store or everywhere. Examples would be comments about birds that randomly fly or dog barking or ask them if they know what type of shrub is walking - if you do not know. It will help you keep your mind busy doing so less in hospitals ... in addition to making them part of the situation.
6. When you start to say things that are mixed, answer questions that do not accept what they say but do not argue with them. An example of this would be when my father told me that his brother had worked for a while, somewhere I knew I did not have.
This chapter of my life has been chapters already written the most difficult. It is not only because of the diseases that my parents and my husband's parents have, but also by my constant to preserve their dignity during the last days / years of their awakened life.
By nature, I am not a very patient person. I am a type personality with the desire to do everything as quickly as possible and move on to something else. They also tend to people and stop interrupting their sentence for them when I think they take too long to talk.
Add to that the fact that I am a perfectionist, so I really want things well. Not particularly "My Way", but at least in a way that I feel comfortable.
It is therefore obvious that preserving the dignity of another person is not something that comes naturally ... and preserving the dignity of the elderly is even more difficult because of its ability to do things in decline / think quickly And completely.
However, I have found an ability to respond to many of the situations / conversations that inevitably occur in a very creative way, hoping that in fact, preserve their dignity.
The first reason is simply the ability of God in my disability. I often prayed for my shortcomings in this area do not affect the members of my family that I care so much. I can testify to the fact that often surprises me how much patience they have during difficult times. There is no other explanation that God does this against me.
The second reason is that I am in the management of several companies owning certain companies. This forced me to learn how to mediate in difficult negotiations in order to bring everyone together to solve problems.
The last reason is that I find that I am able to laugh and flee a problem to talk about spreading potential fights.
Let's face it ... working with elderly parents is often a battlefield if you want it or not. They have their way of thinking and doing ... and have made things their way of life. When we arrived with new ideas and suggestions, no matter how good these ideas and suggestions might be, there is a natural answer to having a negative reaction. So here are the details on how you can make these conversations easier, and hopefully more successful.
1. Explain things thoroughly with an explanation of why you feel something is a good idea.
2. Use the "I" statements when you have difficult talks about using "you" (figuratively pointing his finger).
3. At some point helps to spread a tricky situation if you start a conversation with "It really is not easy to blaze a path in this conversation. (Smile) So I'm going to jump right. "That way, you're not trying to walk on eggs, knowing something difficult will be discussed and not really choosing if they want to talk or not. However, since you are the one who made the decision to jump right, their dignity is preserved because they have the ability to respond as they want what you have to say.
4. Be always ready to hear things that you have heard over and over again and practice the answer with new comments or facial expressions (or both) do not reveal what they said before. If they ask if you have said something as previously honest and let them know if they have.
5. Involúcalos with simple comments or even ask questions when you are on slow walks to the car, to the store or everywhere. Examples would be comments about birds that randomly fly or dog barking or ask them if they know what type of shrub is walking - if you do not know. It will help you keep your mind busy doing so less in hospitals ... in addition to making them part of the situation.
6. When you start to say things that are mixed, answer questions that do not accept what they say but do not argue with them. An example of this would be when my father told me that his brother had worked for a while, somewhere I knew I did not have.
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