Spoilers through Season 8 of 'The Walking Dead' follow.
Sunday night's episode of The Walking Dead was once again not nearly as bad as the first half of Season 8. The bad motivational speeches, weird editing and other follies of that half of the season are all gone. Instead, we had some decent character drama, some tense moments, and a zombie-guts-covered Lucille.
I'm not saying that this is prime Walking Dead television. I'm afraid that ship has sailed. The show's heyday is long since past, and even this trio of relatively good episodes won't change that. These are decent in relation to the past two seasons, sure, but compared to The Walking Dead's best episodes we're still a long ways off.
Ratings for the midseason premiere were terrible, reflecting audience's antipathy toward Scott Gimple's bizarre decision to kill off Carl. In fact, ratings are all the way down to Season 1 levels. Season 1 was fantastic, but it was a new show and had a much smaller audience. It's quite frankly pathetic to see this show fall so low, and a clear reflection of just how poorly written, directed and produced AMC's zombie drama has been lately. They desperately need new blood and I'm more worried than ever that simply shuffling the deck of current producers and writers won't cut it.
Still, I've enjoyed this back half of Season 8 way more than the front half. It feels better paced, more contained and less confusing than earlier episodes this season. It's less melodramatic, too. And unlike Season 7, we haven't gotten stuck with any solo episodes. Thank goodness, too, because I'm not sure I could stand another Tara episode.
Because Tara, man. Tara is the worst.
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When Tara and Dwight Went To The Fire Swamp
"Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist." ~ The Princess Bride
As the Hilltop runs out of food and Maggie begins planning the torturous starvation death of her prisoners, another huge group of survivors makes their way to Gregory's mansion. The survivors of Alexandria, replete with a whole bunch of extras we've never seen before. I have a nagging suspicion that they're actually survivors from the island on Lost. I have no idea where else they could have come from. In any case, lots of mouths to feed and very little food.
(Never fear, though, Jesus is out scavenging for food. He'll steal a whole truck of it from Rick and Daryl and we'll discover this is actually a time loop.The survivors keep meeting Jesus, who leads them to Gregory, who sicks them on Negan, who kills Glenn and Abraham, and then the entire cycle repeats over and over again.)
Sorry, I got a little carried away there.
In any case, Dwight tells everyone that Negan will have basically every single approach to the Hilltop guarded except for one: The Fire Swamp. (Okay, just the swamp. I'm adding flavor.)
This is the first or second time, but definitely not the last time, that Tara wants to kill Dwight. And gosh does she ever. She wants to kill him so bad she can't think about anything else. Her and Denise were girlfriends for like seventeen minutes, but her vengeance burns hot, runs deep, wriggles and jiggles and tickles inside her. She simply has to kill Dwight, right now, and she isn't afraid to tell anyone even when he's standing right over there. Tara, he's literally standing right over there. Keep it down.
So when the others go to clear a path through the zombie-filled swamp, Tara stays behind. She takes Dwight with her to go kill some nearby walkers, but it's obviously a thinly veiled excuse to get him alone where she can kill him. When he tells her he's sorry and that killing him won't make her feel better, she tries to anyways, missing at point blank range. He runs and she follows but her execution is cut short by a pack of roving Saviors. They hide and Tara looks like she might still kill him right then and there, nearby enemies be damned. But Dwight ducks out of their hiding place, greeting the Saviors as friends.
When, to no one's surprise but Tara's, Dwight doesn't betray them to the Saviors she has a 'come to Jesus' moment. She realizes that maybe, just maybe, she should let a guy who fought on the wrong side for a time, but then risked everything to help the good guys, have his redemption moment.
I mean, for God's sake Tara you used to be on Team Governor! You were on the bad guys team once, too!
While I do understand her anger---Dwight put a crossbow bolt in Denise's eye, after all---I found Tara incredibly annoying in this episode. Frankly, I'm not even sure why she's still on this show. She's such a boring character and whenever she's not boring it's because she's doing something obnoxious. I'm not necessarily a fan of Dwight, but I like him more than ever after this episode. He fought for his life and still didn't give up his new allies even after they tried to kill him. Good for Dwight. I like that he's doing the right thing even if it means he'll die in the end. It's brave and selfless.
Speaking of annoying characters, Daryl is just...he's just ridiculous at this point. When even Tara starts defending Dwight for not double-crossing them, it's Daryl who fecklessly rages about killing him. He's so angry he could just...stomp his feet and pout! Why is he angry? It's not like Dwight got away. He was chased by Tara who was trying to kill him like an idiot, and all Daryl can do is whine and cry about it? Until he notices little Judith looking all cute and decides that maybe he should hold it together.
The best part of this entire segment was the swamp zombies. Let's call them 'bobbers.' They were, as usual, very grotesque and cool, though highly ineffective at their job. You had one job bobbers: Kill all humans. One job. Sheesh.
The Blind Leading The Blind
I really dislike Father Gabriel. I've disliked him from the very first moment he showed up on The Walking Dead, and no matter how hard I try I still dislike him. But I didn't hate his story in 'Dead Or Alive Or' (which, by the way, is a very silly name for an episode.)
Gabriel and Dr. Carson have escaped the Sanctuary with the help of The Mullet. They're hopelessly lost because they're both just terrible at surviving but still somehow managed to survive this long. Gabriel's infection has gotten into his eyes and he's going blind. (I'm still confused by the infection...how exactly did he get infected by putting zombie guts on him when they've done this countless times already? Nick in FTWD does this almost every single episode!)
In any case, with a dead car and no sense of where they are, Gabriel and Carson seem stuck, until Gabriel hears a bell off in the distance. God, he assures his scientifically inclined travelling companion, is leading them. So off they go until they find a house in the middle of nowhere. Once there, Gabriel's faith is bolstered once again. Surely this is god's hand at work, guiding them to safety.
When Carson finds the previous occupant dead in the back bedroom he doubts Gabriel's hypothesis. But when they find bottles of antibiotics his own faith wavers. It is a bit miraculous, after all. Gabriel gets his meds and starts talking and gesticulating and accidentally breaks a piggy bank on the counter. Inside it they find a key and a map, leading them to a vehicle. More of god's beneficence at play, it would seem.
But on the way to the car, Carson steps in a bear trap. Zombies descend, and things look grim for our good doctor. Gabriel, nearly blind, grabs Carson's gun and takes aim, putting his faith once again in his maker and...perfect shot. Carson's angle is likely broken, but at least Gabriel saved him. They can get to the car and drive to Hilltop "for Maggie."
Brief side-note here: This whole "Maggie needs the doctor" thing is so, so, so, so very stupid. Maggie isn't even showing. Maggie is no longer infected. Maggie is fine. There are many others, including both Gabriel and now Carson, who would be better served by a medical professional. Countless people have been wounded fighting the Saviors. Maggie doesn't need a doctor. Women literally gave birth for hundreds of thousands of years without a doctor.
Many people, even in this day and age, use midwives instead of doctors. Actually, at the dawn of modern medicine, doctors were probably the worst thing a woman in childbirth could have near her. They used all sorts of barbaric instruments to drag children into the world, refusing to use older, more tested means of midwifery. Maggie can bring this baby to term and give birth just fine without a doctor, assuming she survives both the war with Negan and contract negotiations with AMC.
And that's good, because Carson dies. Literally fourteen seconds after Gabriel fires off the gun and they get to the jeep, the Saviors show up. Apparently there are still so many Saviors that they're just everywhere at once. They just pop up randomly when they hear a gun shot miles off, seconds later, like magic.
In any case, it continues with our theme of elation and crushing defeat. But even as they're dragged into the bed of the Saviors' magical truck, Gabriel is chill about it. We're still on god's path, he tells Carson. And Carson, probably delirious with pain, decides that yes, he agrees, and he knows what to do! He'll grab the Savior's gun and take on all of them single-handedly! Poor doc. They put him down like a dog, though one Savior points out that they were trying to capture the doctor, not kill him.
Gabriel weeps as he's driven away, all his faith shattered.
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The Mullet Makes A Bullet
Eugene is an idiot. He becomes more and more of an idiot with every passing episode. He's a true traitor, not just to his old friends, but to any sense of decency inside himself. As his fear and alcoholism further consume him, he sinks deeper into his role as a Savior boss.
He's at once terrified of Negan discovering his treachery and so full of himself that when one of the Savior women comes over to offer her assistance in bullet making, he treats her like garbage. Honestly, this really rubbed me the wrong way. He's just such a complete jerk to her for no reason. It just compounds how much I absolutely loathe Eugene.
Let's just stop calling him that. From now on he's The Mullet. Mullet the bullet-maker. That's the task Negan has set out for him, and he brings the captured Father Gabriel (who refuses to give up Eugene) to help sort bullet casings. But Eugene can't make bullets fast enough, so he suggests using zombie parts as siege weapons. They can toss zombie heads and guts and entire walkers over the Hilltop walls (burning said walls, which are made of wood, might be faster and easier, but whatever.)
This gives Negan an idea. Which leads us to....
Super Lucille, Killer of Worlds and Destroyer of Stuff
I guess if you put zombie bits into an open wound, you become infected. So if you cover your spiky bat with zombie guts and blood and then thwack somebody with it, it'll do 1d8+3 damage instead of just 1d8 damage. Or maybe it's still 1d8 damage, but now you need to roll a saving throw against poison to survive it or you take an extra 1d8 poison damage and then turn into a walker.
Now imagine coating your arrows and machetes and very small rocks with zombie innards and using this entire arsenal against your enemies, turning each and every one of them into a walker in the process. Pretty gruesome. Kind of bizarre nobody's thought of it before now, though. Especially a sadist like Negan.
Oh well, whatever the case here we have one of the comic book's big moments happening on screen. Seems a tad drastic to me, if Negan truly doesn't want to kill everyone and thinks "people are a resource, Simon!" This kind of approach feels more genocidal than anything. As soon as you start turning people, they'll all start turning on one another until everyone is dead. Maybe Negan is just full of it.
Meanwhile, back at the Hilltop...
Back at the Hilltop, everyone is running out of food. People are 1/3 rations. This has always been the story of Hilltop. They can't fight. They had the worst leader ever in Gregory. They farmed but never had full stomachs. It's the most useless community in the entire show, but at least they have hostages and it's basically the only safe place remaining since, during the midseason finale, Simon failed to go back there with Maggie to make sure they didn't have any more guns.
In any case, Maggie tells the prisoners they can't leave their pen even for exercise and also they won't get any more food.
There's a touching moment when Daryl and his crew arrive at the Hilltop and Daryl tells Carol and Maggie about Carl. We don't hear any of it and frankly I think it probably works better that way. We see the reactions of the Hilltop crew as Enid breaks down and Carol faces yet another loss of young life. Carol, whose daughter was lost in season 2, who had to kill that one crazy little girl who killed her sister, who tried to push away that creepy kid in Alexandria that ended up dying anyways.
Meanwhile, Morgan tells young Henry that Gavin (who Henry recently murdered) killed his older brother, perhaps indicating that he's once again souring on all the killing. I'm all for Henry turning into a total badass. Morgan, for his part, seems fed up with everything. Maybe he's off to join Fear The Walking Dead. (Note: I incorrectly stated that Morgan told Henry the name of the real killer; I was mistaken, or got the names mixed up. Fixed now. Thanks.)
That's all folks.
All told, not a bad episode by any means. I think part of the reason why I can't get more invested in the tense moments (like when Dwight and Tara are hiding from the Savior search party) is the simple fact that I'm just not that invested in any of the characters. I still like some of these characters like Carol and Morgan and Michonne and Rosita, but this whole Negan war has really played out for way too long and it's really dragging. The cast is too swollen and we could really use a major thinning of the herd in order to start focusing more on the characters we do care about. Separate the wheat from the chaff, as it were.
But still, for reasons I've already mentioned I do think the show has improved from the first half of the season. That's not saying much, I realize, and I'm fully expecting to once again enjoy Fear The Walking Dead more than I'm enjoying The Walking Dead, but at least I'm not rolling my eyes the entire time. I'm sure many of my readers will disagree---many of you wonderful people are even more disillusioned with this show than I am!---and that's completely fine. Let's argue about it on Twitter and Facebook.
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