An unrequited love letter to the lost rollerbladers of Brisbane

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This was published 6 years ago

An unrequited love letter to the lost rollerbladers of Brisbane

By Katherine Feeney
Updated

Dear Rollerbladers of Brisbane,

It's not easy for me to write this letter. Indeed, I don't even know where to send this letter because I don't know where you are anymore. Where did you go? Why didn't you take me with you?

Fierce wrist guards were just part of the rollerblading appeal.

Fierce wrist guards were just part of the rollerblading appeal. Credit: Riverlife

Twenty years ago, it felt like you were everywhere.

I used to watch you fly past the cement planter boxes river lining the river at South Bank. Sometimes, from the balcony at Jo-Jo's, I'd see you spin down Queen Street. I remember 30-cent cones at Maccas at Eagle Street Pier and you blading by, and me yearning for the day I too could lace up and snap in. I loved your wheeled boots. I loved your Stackhats. Those wrist guards looked totally fierce. Like Jet Li fierce.

'Wait, stop. Come back! I miss you.'

'Wait, stop. Come back! I miss you.'Credit: Steven Siewert

But I was just a kid. A tween before the term was invented. I wasn't even in control of the knob on the TV, and only got to touch the VCR to pause the tape during the ads in the movie we were recording. No way could I blade with you. So in my dreams, you'd fly by, whirling and laughing, and listening to your Discmans. And I longed to tie a flannel shirt around my waist, under a sports-bra and crop-top, and gracefully transform into a the pictures of blading babes in the pages of Dolly magazine.

Bladers were cool. Bladers were street. Not like those daggy disco rollers who spun around rinks in the suburbs. Like Flavor Flav and Professor Griff, bladers were public enemy number one. They were big trouble in little Brisbane's pavements and parking lots. The signs above the doors at the Cultural Forecourt car park stand testament. They still warn against bladers above all else.

Public enemy number one: rollerbladers.

Public enemy number one: rollerbladers.

How things change. There is no longer any need to ban or monitor rollerbladers in Brisbane. Because the bladers of Brisbane have gone. Gone the way of the goth kids who used to congregate in that shady bit of King George Square, where Officeworks is now. Now King George Square is all cement. It's actually a blader's paradise. Not that it matters. No-one blades there anymore.

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But why? Was it just a phase? Did something cooler come along? Please tell me you didn't just simply 'grow-up'. I pray you haven't 'matured' into two-wheel cyclists - Lycra with fake sponsors doesn't scream sex appeal like in-line skates and Nirvana shirts.

I spoke to Mark McCrindle about you today. He's an expert on social trends. He said trends used to happen "more organically back in the day". He said movies and TV and music used to influence the critical mass in a way they don't anymore. Now, we do what the kids on social media do, and they are so damn quick about changing what they do that it's harder to keep up. He said Pokemon Go was a great example of how trends get "fatigued" quickly these days, but blading "had a whole fashion and identity with it." "It had a little bit of an alternative factor." It also had Mighty Ducks, I thought.

"But trends do have a rebound," he went on. "There's a rest cycle, and sometimes that's just a seasonal thing. Sometimes it's a generational thing." Mark said kids still drive trends but parents still pay for them. And if there's some nostalgia…

I asked him if he thought blading could come back. He paused. He said he used to blade. "I guess no kid's going to be caught dead going for a blade with their parent," I said. "No, probably not," he replied. I said I didn't think that I was cool enough to bring it back by myself. He said he probably didn't think so either. He laughed politely, and I laughed too. But I was crying a little bit inside.

So, that's why I write this letter.

Dear bladers of Brisbane. You may have gone. Blading may be 'over'. But why? Where did you go? And could you come back please?

Love Katherine Feeney.

PS. If you happen to cross paths with sweater-vests, that's okay, they can stay where they are. Same goes for tube tops and skorts. CD towers we also don't need. And CD wallets. And I think we have enough juice bars now also. Nintendo is already back - and don't worry about Tamagotchi because we tried already. But if you do come across the Macarena or any of the other coordinated dance moves it'd be cool to get them back. Some group dance is what the world really needs right now.

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