I know what you're thinking: Who talks about money on St. Valentine's Day? Seriously?
There's a real good reason to talk about financial matters. Money matters are one of the prime reasons couples break up. So a decent, ongoing discussion can keep that romance alive.
But don't do the blame/shame game. You're both interested in financial well-being. That means manageable debts and spending that you discuss and agree to; it's an evolving process.
Money is on the minds of most couples, particularly as the stock market throws a fit. According to a survey by the National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE), "over two thirds (69 percent) of U.S. adults will set a financial New Year’s resolution for 2018, a consistent indication that many Americans continue to focus on their financial health as much as their physical health."
For couples, that means sitting down, putting away mobile devices, and having a conversation. Here are some items you need to discuss:
-- Do You Have Debt Issues? This doesn't have to be turn-off, particularly if you're responsible about debt repayments. Do one or both partners have student loans? Do you have a plan in place to pay them off over time? Know your options, which may include refinancing.
How are you doing on credit card debt? Do you pay your charge bills every month in full? That's the best way to avoid onerous interest charges. Here are some more suggestions from NEFE:
"Take a hard, honest look at what you owe. Set a goal to reduce your debt load in 2018 by 5-10 percent. That might mean reducing impulse shopping. When you face temptation, delay the purchase and give yourself time to consider whether it’s a wise move that fits within your budget."
-- Are You Saving Enough? You should have enough to cover monthly expenses if one of you is out of work. That's a decent rule of thumb. You should also cover out-of-pocket deductibles on health and other insurance policies. Again, here's NEFE:
"Emergency savings can offset unexpected costs and help you get back on solid footing. A good rule of thumb is to have six to nine months of income set aside. That may seem out of reach so start with a smaller goal—even as little as $500. "
The best savings plan is automatic. Have money withdrawn from your checking account every month.
-- Are You Having Regular Money Talks? Most couples spend more time discussing restaurant choices than money matters. Seeing where you're at on saving and spending should be a regular activity.
My wife and I not only go over monthly bills, we review our portfolio the end of the year. Then we discuss if we're hitting our goals.
-- What's Your Overall Financial Plan? If married, do you have a regular savings fund for emergencies and long-term goals like buying a house or funding retirement? Are you both participating in retirement plans at work? How much are you saving?
There's no harm in bringing in a professional to help. I would suggest you consult with a fiduciary adviser such as a fee-only financial planner or registered investment adviser. Avoid brokers and anybody selling products on commission.
I can't tell you what exactly makes love endure over time, but working through your money issues will certainly give your relationship some staying power.
