Allow me to let you in on a little secret that'll make your Tinder matches go weak at the knees. You won't need to scour their photos for a thoughtful opener. You won't have to read their bio to find a mutual interest. You won't even need to stoop to the low level of uttering the word "hey."
All you'll need is a rudimentary understanding of cryptocurrency. And, if you fancy yourself something of a crypto-expert, your Tinder profile could well be about to blow up.
I'm talking about sending your matches cryptocurrency-related pick-up lines. And, before you dismiss this as the dorkiest, silliest thing you've ever heard, just take a look at what happened when I embarked on a little Tinder experiment. An experiment that—to my pleasant surprise—proved to be wildly successful.
You might have noticed the odd bit of Bitcoin chatter wangling its way into your conversations at the pub. Or, maybe your parents were asking you questions about Ethereum or Dogecoin over the holidays. Well, you're not alone. Per Google Trends data, interest in cryptocurrency is at an all-time high. Why not capitalise on the crypto-buzz and make interest in you surge to an all-time high?
Armed with the knowledge that cryptocurrency is the ~hot topic~ of the moment, I decided to write some cryptocurrency-related pickup lines. I compiled a little list in a Google Doc and then swiped like there's no tomorrow.
One line, suggested by a colleague, worked a charm on a chap named Christopher. I opened with "I wanna be your monero," which I wasn't entirely certain would prove fruitful. I was wrong, though. Christopher took the bait. Big time.
He told me I could interrogate his "private digital protocols" any time. Gosh.
Another—somewhat saucier—line also proved successful with one of my matches. "Does a fire burn in your litecoin when you see me?" I asked. To my delight, Manos lapped it right up. "Oh my god, is this a cryptocurrency pick up line?" he queried. Um, you bet it is, Manos.
He told me he loved me not long afterwards, but things quickly fell apart when Manos shifted the conversation towards ad blockers and cookies. Sorry, but I've only got eyes for cryptocurrency.
Buoyed up by my success, I decided to craft my own crypto-related acronym. I replaced DTF? (which means "down to fuck?") with "DTM?" My new acronym stands for "down to mine?" as in, "are you down to mine some bitcoin?" One match, Tom, couldn't resist that line.
At first, Tom was confused by the acronym. He thought I was asking for driving lessons. Once I enlightened him, he came at me with some strong crypto-chat.
"Have you got a good mining rig? If so, I'm in!" he said. "But I should warn you with quantum computing just around the corner I think we're entering the final years of bitcoin mining."
Tom was sooo into the crypto chat, he decided to give me some unsolicited investment advice. "I recommend putting a small amount in (enough that it wouldn't be the end of the world if you lost it) —that way you'll buy into it more," he told me.
Another match—also named Tom—didn't bat an eyelid when I replied to his opener with a line he definitely wasn't expecting.
"Ere, Rachel. You'll never guess what?!" Tom said.
"You wanna decentralise the financial system by creating a distributed ledger system that ensures contracts are executed?" I asked. Close, but no.
This one's a rude one, but hey, Tinder's not exactly a chaste space. I messaged Martin with a cool: "is that a blockchain or are you pleased to see me?" Sadly Martin revealed that he's not worth very much bitcoin, so I fear we might not be compatible.
One line that showed itself to be a bit hit and miss was this: "I'm an Ethereum in the streets, and a Bitcoin in the sheets."
Tim seemed to enjoy it.
Most other recipients of that glorious line straight-up ignored me (um, rude!). One guy simply responded to it with a heart and then told me I'm "really pretty." Thanks, Siavash!
To save you the bother of trial-and-error, here are the lines that worked a treat:
Is that a Blockchain or are you pleased to see me?
DTM?
Does a fire burn in your litecoin when you see me?
I wanna be your monero
Wanna decentralise the financial system by creating a distributed ledger system that ensures contracts are executed?
Sadly, based on empirical evidence, these lines were unsuccessful:
Bitcoin for your thoughts?
Let's go from Coinbase to first base
I hear you’ve got an impressive blockfolio
Moral of the story: Crypto-talk is the new dirty talk. Trust me on this one.
Topics Bitcoin Tinder Cryptocurrency
