How to Deal With Being a Gifted Student

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: March 28, 2022

Being a gifted student comes with a unique set of problems and benefits. There are a number of ways that gifted students can cope with and work on being the best students they can be. Gifted students can achieve success and gain more confidence by understanding themselves and their own abilities, learning to better interact with teachers and other students, and managing themselves in the classroom.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Excelling at Academics

1
Stay focused. No matter how many talents, interests, or obligations you have, do not allow yourself to lose focus on your goals.
- Prioritize your goals and decide which are most important and might need the most time considering your long-term objectives.
- Plan ahead and manage your time so that you can balance all of your obligations. Remember, you can’t do everything!
- Identify clearly what you want to achieve and then find people, such as teachers, guidance counselors, and college professors, who can help you develop a step-by-step plan.
2
Make a list of short-term and long-term goals. This will help you stay focused on your priorities. Do this by making a list and then ranking what goals are most important to you and how you think you might achieve them. Consider the following questions when making your list:
- What do you want to achieve this year in terms of your studies and intellectual growth?
- If you’re in middle school, where do you want to go to high school?
- If you’re in high school, what do you want to do after graduation? If you want to start a business or go right to work, start thinking about that now and line up a mentor. If you plan to go to college or technical school, consider what school would be best for your chosen career path and your long-term plans. Consider college rankings as a way to evaluate specific programs.
3
Look for mentors. Connecting with someone in a field you’re interested in can help you stay excited about learning, and a good mentor can also help you find challenging opportunities. A mentor could be anyone from a teacher who inspires you to a business owner, a scientist, a writer, or a professor who teaches a subject you love. Reach out to someone whose work is meaningful to you and start a conversation. You might both learn something from each other.
- Good ways to meet mentors include sitting in on college classes, attending workshops or events in your community, doing volunteer work, or even sending an email with a few thoughtful questions to an expert in your chosen field.
Remember, just because you are gifted does not mean you have to work less. You should do your best to channel your gifts and your energies so you can succeed and achieve your short-term and long-term goals. Do this by committing yourself to excellence in everything you do.
5
Stay challenged and be proactive about your education. Talk to your parents and teachers about what you can do to stay challenged or get ahead. In most cases, they will be happy to help you find work that is engaging and challenging. In addition, there are other things you can do:
- Cultivate your gift. If you are interested in or excel at one subject or another, make sure that you do everything you can to hone your abilities in that subject.
- Talk to teachers about Honors, Advance Placement (AP), or International Baccalaureate (IB) classes in a specific subject field that you like. Visit the IB website at http://www.ibo.org for more information. Visit the AP College Board website at https://apstudent.collegeboard.org/apcourse for more information about courses that might be offered at your school.
- Find out if there’s a college or university in your area that invites gifted students to take or sit in on college courses.
- Don’t ignore your work in other subjects. All of your classes are important in cultivating a well-developed intellect.
- Ask questions in class if you are confused or want to know more.
6
Manage your perfectionism. Avoid the temptation to achieve perfection in everything you do. Perfection will get in your way and undermine your ability to balance the different goals you have.
- Know when to quit a specific assignment or task.
- Match the time commitment to the value of assignments. Don’t spend 5 hours perfectly outlining a history textbook chapter instead of studying for your chemistry test that you’ll take the next day.
- Enjoy the process, not the perfect product. The goal of education is to learn and to develop your intellect, not to achieve perfection on every assignment or in every class.^{[1]
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Just because you are gifted does not mean you have to make an A in every subject every day. Remember, some people are gifted in certain activities or subjects, and no one is perfect. Your goal should be intellectual growth and understanding, not perfect grades.
8
Do extracurricular activities that mesh with your interests. Classes aren’t the only place to gain new knowledge and hone your skills. Consider signing up for clubs, events, or activities that support your interests. In addition to learning new things, you’ll have an opportunity to meet people who share your passion.
- For example, if you love math, you might join a math club that participates in competitions. If you’re an artist, look for events and workshops for young artists at your local art museum or community center.
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Dealing with Your Peers and Teachers

1
Be modest, supportive, and helpful. Try to always be humble when it comes to your abilities and help others. Be a model for other gifted students in how they should treat others.
- Help or tutor friends and peers who are struggling or need assistance.
- Be supportive of others in their academic work or in their effort to overcome their own limitations.
- Refrain from teasing others or making jokes about others’ abilities.
- Don’t brag or be arrogant about your abilities when dealing with other students.
Approach intellectual activities as opportunities to learn, grow, and foster cooperation. While competition is good, if taken too far, it can create conflict and alienate you from other people. It is best to see academic activities – homework, tests, writing papers – as opportunities to cultivate your own gifts, rather than to beat or out compete other people.
3
Surround yourself with peers with similar ambitions and interests. Try to find friends who share your commitment to knowledge and to cultivating your gifts. Avoid social connections that make you feel poorly about yourself, make others feel badly about themselves, or lead you toward activities that are counterproductive to your goals in life and as a student.^{[2]
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- You might also find it helpful and challenging to connect with people who are gifted in different areas from yourself. For example, if you have a gift for writing but struggle with chemistry, look for friends who excel in the sciences. Their enthusiasm might encourage your own interest and help you overcome your challenges.
4
Work and communicate with your teachers about your education. The best way to cultivate a healthy relationship with your teacher is to talk to them about issues concerning your education. Do this in a polite way so that the teacher can see that you are engaged in your education and want to take a proactive role in it.
- Have conversations with your teachers about areas that you are interested in, and ask how you might find opportunities to advance your knowledge in those areas.
- For example, you might say, “I loved our unit on the ancient world, and I really want to learn as much as I can about Mesopotamian art. Where would be the best place to start? What kind of college major should I choose if I want to eventually study ancient art in graduate school?”
When socializing with others, don’t always try to steer the conversation to what interests you and what you are good at. Move outside of your comfort zone, and engage others on topics or subjects that they are interested in as well. Remember, part of being a successful gifted student is interacting with other students and teachers in a healthy and well-balanced way.

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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Understanding Yourself and Your Abilities

Gifted does not mean mere intelligence or book smarts. Gifted people excel at a variety of activities and in a number of different ways. Extraordinary talents can be expressed through art, athletics, communication, mechanics, and more. This means that a gifted student will not always be at the top of the class in every subject, but might just excel in one particular subject.
2
Be proud of all your assets, not just your intelligence. Being a well-adjusted and successful gifted student means that you should be proud of all aspects of who you are. This includes your intelligence, but pride in self should transcend mere intelligence. You should be confident in who you are as a family member, an athlete, and a friend. At the same time, don’t let this go to your head. And remember, you are not the center of the universe!
- Be proud, but practice humility. Remember that there is always more to learn, and that every experience is a learning opportunity.
Embrace the fact that you are a student. Being a student is a privileged position. You have the benefit of learning from teachers and professors who have substantial education and life experience. Approach your knowledge and experience limitations as an opportunity to grow and learn from others.
Expect that you may not be good at everything just because you are gifted. Being gifted does not mean that you have to succeed or can succeed at everything. Recognize where your talents lie, and set your expectations accordingly.

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How do I deal with having no friends?

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Professional Counselor
Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Perhaps you’re looking for friends in the wrong places. Get involved in organizations or activities that you enjoy and you’ll eventually connect with people who have interests similar to yours.

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I want to get into a gifted and talented program, but how? Any suggestions on how to do it?

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Professional Counselor
Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Check what is available through your school or your school district. A guidance counselor or teacher could help you.

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Tips

Being gifted means little if you’re not happy and don’t achieve your short-term and long-term goals. Think about where you want to be in 3, 5, or 10 years, and work towards making that happen.

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Middle school students should consider the classes they take, their extracurricular activities, and where they will go for high school.

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High school students should consider all of the above, as well as what they want to do after they graduate, and whether they want to work, start their own business, go to technical school, or to the university.

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