How to Change Your Life

Co-authored by Michael Stern

Last Updated: October 13, 2022 Fact Checked

No matter how old you are, it's never too late to change your life for the better. Read this article to learn how to make changes on both the inside and outside to feel more fulfilled, happy, and at peace.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Changing Your Circumstances

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1
Change your routine. Remember that your reality is a result of the things you do on a daily basis, from what you eat for breakfast to where you go to work or school. If you're going to change your life's circumstances, you will have to change the things you do every single day.^{[1]
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National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases
Health information from the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, a division of the U.S. National Institutes of Health

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- Remember that you don’t have to change everything at once. Just trying one new change to your routine at a time can create progress. It can take a little time—66 days on average—for new habits to become second nature.^{[2]
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- Making even the smallest changes to your daily routine can help you feel less bored with life. For example, take a different route to work, eat something new for breakfast, exercise before school rather than afterward, or stop at a different coffee shop. Small changes like these may seem insignificant, but they will make your life more interesting in the long run by adding variety.
- Ask yourself this question on a routine basis: Is what I am doing (or not doing) helping me get where I want to be? This applies to what you eat, whether or not you exercise, and what you spend the bulk of your day doing. If the answer is no, then make the necessary change.
2
Examine your life's path. Whether you are in school, working, job hunting, volunteering, or traveling, take a look at your life and decide if it aligns with your values.^{[3]
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Michael Stern
Life Coach

Expert Interview. 8 July 2020.}
- What are your passions, interests, and goals? While these questions may take years to answer, you can start by asking yourself what kind of legacy you want to leave behind. This question applies not only to your career but to your relationships as well. How would you like to be described and remembered by other people?
- Determine whether or not your lifestyle is aligned with your personal values. Chances are, to some extent, your life and your values conflict. What could you be doing differently to help you reach your goals? You may want to consider changing your career path, changing your major, changing where you live, and changing the way you manage your time and money.
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3
Improve your relationships. No matter how much money you make or how great your accomplishments are, you will not be able to enjoy your success if you don't have loved ones to share it with.^{[4]
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- Work on the relationships you already have. Be sure to spend quality time with loved ones, and treat them with compassion and understanding. If you have been neglecting or arguing with a loved one, then devote some time to reconciling the relationship. You must be willing to make compromises and even admit that you were wrong.
- Make new, meaningful relationships with others. If you are feeling lonely, then you will have to stop waiting around for others to approach you. Take matters into your own hands, and get proactive. Put yourself in social situations, strike up conversations, and remember to always have a smile on your face. This is the best way to attract other people.
4
Get out of your comfort zone. Some people are more prone than others to get stuck in the comfort of routine and familiarity. Regardless of your inhibitions or fears of change, humans need variety to be happy. You should practice this on a small scale on a daily basis as well as on a larger scale.^{[5]
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- Try to do something you've never done every single day. Go to a show you've never been to, talk to a new person, eat something new, and so on. You never know when you'll discover something or somebody who will end up making a life-changing impact on you.
- Pick up a new hobby or travel to a new place. If you play an instrument or a sport of any kind, push yourself above and beyond what you would normally do. Run that extra mile, take a different trail when hiking, and explore new artistic styles.
- Seeking out new friends who like your hobbies can keep you engaged. Meetup.com is a great way to meet people in your area.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Changing Your Attitude

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1
Live in the present moment. The best way you feel happier about your life is to stop dwelling on the past and stop worrying about the future.^{[6]
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Research source} If you find yourself constantly dwelling on negative memories, try the following exercise:
- First, acknowledge the memory and how it makes you feel. If it was a recent incident and you feel the need to cry or scream, then do it. Consider writing about the event in a journal or talking about it with a loved one. Once you have properly grieved the memory, then admit to yourself that it is over, and nothing can be done to undo it. The next time the thought returns to your head, acknowledge it, be thankful that it is over, and let it go.
- While it is impossible to forget the past completely, many people tend to focus on negative or traumatic memories rather than on the positive ones. Take some time to remember all the good things that have happened to you in the past. If it helps, make a list.
- Try grounding techniques to bring yourself back to the present moment. Noticing things around the room that are a certain color or breathing deeply can calm you and focus your attention on the present.^{[7]
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  University of Rochester Medical Center
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2
Be positive. No matter what you have, where you are, or who you're with, your perception of your circumstances is more important than the circumstances themselves. To put this into perspective, consider this fact: at any given moment, there are other people in the world who have less money, fewer resources, and fewer loved ones than you do, and yet they are happier. Similarly, there are people who are richer than you, in better shape, and with more resources, who feel less fulfilled than you do.^{[8]
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- Get in the habit of noticing the positive aspects of whatever situation you find yourself in. If you find yourself complaining about what's going on around you, then counter each complaint you make with one or two positive observations.
- Stop criticizing yourself and those around you . Again, everybody has both positive and negative qualities; this is a universal fact. If you constantly focus on the negative qualities of your spouse, for example, then those are what you will notice, and you will constantly feel frustrated and annoyed. In contrast, if you constantly remind yourself of the positive qualities of your spouse, then those are what you will notice, and you will feel appreciative and lucky.
3
Don't compare your own life with other people's lives. Part of what makes people feel unhappy with their own lives is the comparison they make with the lives of those around them. The tendency is to compare the low points of your own life with the positive points of other people’s lives.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Michael Stern
Life Coach

Expert Interview. 8 July 2020.}
- Let go of jealousy. Nobody's life is perfect, no matter how it may seem on the outside. If you find yourself being jealous of others for their money, their talents, or their relationships, remember that each and every one of these people has struggled with hardships and insecurities.
- Minimizing your use of social media can help you stop comparing yourself to others. It may even make you feel happier. Take a break from Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter to clear your head for a few days.^{[10]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Changing Your Look

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Get in shape. Exercising regularly not only keeps you looking your best, but it will also improve your cardiovascular health, reduce your likelihood for certain diseases, give you more energy, and even improve your sex life.^{[11]
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MedlinePlus
Collection of medical information sourced from the US National Library of Medicine

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- Healthy adults need 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity each week.^{[12]
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  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
  Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services
  
  Go to source} Moderate activities include walking or swimming leisurely, while vigorous activities include jogging, kickboxing, or spinning.
- You should do strength training of some kind at least two days per week.^{[13]
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  Trustworthy Source
  
  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
  Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services
  
  Go to source}Try lifting weights or doing floor work (crunches, push-ups, etc.) that use your own body as resistance.
- Consider joining a gym or local sports team. Exercising with other people can help keep you motivated, and will make exercise more fun.
2
Eat well. Remember that you are what you eat. Whether you want to lose weight or simply improve your overall health, what you eat matters.^{[14]
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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services

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- Your diet should consist of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. Read food labels and stay away from foods that contain artificial coloring, aspartame, and other chemicals. Eat sugar and empty carbohydrates in moderation.
- If you suffer from anxiety or depression, then cut down on alcohol and caffeine, as these substances will make matters worse.^{[15]
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3
Get a makeover. Makeovers aren't just about looking better, necessarily. The simple act of getting a haircut or buying different clothes can make you feel like a new person. Whether you're unhappy with your look or simply bored with it, try to mix things up.
- Change your wardrobe. Get rid of clothes that make you feel frumpy, sloppy, or otherwise bad about yourself. Make an effort to look your best on a daily basis. This doesn't necessarily mean dressing fancy or formal; rather, find clothes that are figure-flattering, stylish (in your opinion), affordable, and age-appropriate.
- Change your hairstyle. Get a haircut or dye your hair a different color. Women with long hair should consider getting layers, bangs, or a short bob.
- Men can drastically change their appearance using facial hair. Try growing a beard, mustache, or goatee. If you are a man who has always had facial hair, try shaving it off for a change.

Expert Q&A

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Question

How can I change my life in 30 days?

Michael Stern
Life Coach
Michael Stern is a life coach and the owner of Integral Alignment, a coaching and training business focused on a holistic approach to optimizing one's health, work, love, play, and spirituality. Michael began his professional training in 2011 as an Integral Spiritual Mentor through One Spirit Learning Alliance, and has been certified as both a hatha yoga instructor and an Emotional Intelligence Coach through GolemanEI. In addition to his private 1:1 and groupwork, he has hosted workshops with thought leaders such as Frederic Laloux, Charles Eisenstein, and Thomas Hübl. Michael holds a BA in Spanish Language from Vanderbilt University and lives in Portland, Maine.

Michael Stern

Life Coach

Expert Answer

Don't put too much pressure on yourself to make major life changes in under 30 days or something like that. That's not a productive thing to do. Instead, just focus on making minor changes over time to gradually improve yourself. If you go out and try to do a complete 180-degree turn overnight, you're just going to get disappointed.

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Question

What lifestyle changes can I make to be happier with my life?

Michael Stern
Life Coach
Michael Stern is a life coach and the owner of Integral Alignment, a coaching and training business focused on a holistic approach to optimizing one's health, work, love, play, and spirituality. Michael began his professional training in 2011 as an Integral Spiritual Mentor through One Spirit Learning Alliance, and has been certified as both a hatha yoga instructor and an Emotional Intelligence Coach through GolemanEI. In addition to his private 1:1 and groupwork, he has hosted workshops with thought leaders such as Frederic Laloux, Charles Eisenstein, and Thomas Hübl. Michael holds a BA in Spanish Language from Vanderbilt University and lives in Portland, Maine.

Michael Stern

Life Coach

Expert Answer

Too many people try to solve "being" problems with "doing" solutions. If you're unhappy with yourself on an emotional level, you aren't going to fix that by going out and exercising or eating a different diet. That said, if the changes you need to make a purely behavioral, going out and fixing your worst habits is a great way to improve yourself.

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Question

How do I figure out if I'm actually making progress?

Michael Stern
Life Coach
Michael Stern is a life coach and the owner of Integral Alignment, a coaching and training business focused on a holistic approach to optimizing one's health, work, love, play, and spirituality. Michael began his professional training in 2011 as an Integral Spiritual Mentor through One Spirit Learning Alliance, and has been certified as both a hatha yoga instructor and an Emotional Intelligence Coach through GolemanEI. In addition to his private 1:1 and groupwork, he has hosted workshops with thought leaders such as Frederic Laloux, Charles Eisenstein, and Thomas Hübl. Michael holds a BA in Spanish Language from Vanderbilt University and lives in Portland, Maine.

Michael Stern

Life Coach

Expert Answer

Set aside regular time to review and reflect on the progress you're making. That will help you maintain focus and stay motivated. Take stock of how you're doing every week or so and you'll be able to figure out if you're getting closer to your goal or not.

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Tips

Try to keep your life balanced between work and play. If all you do is work, then you are missing out on the joys in life. If all you do is play, then you will eventually grow bored and no longer appreciate the fun times.

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Sleep early, wake up early. Do something creative with your early time; folding origami for your friend's kid, writing a short story on Wattpad or even go out for a run.

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Consider finding a positive role model to look up to. This person may be a teacher, a family member, or your favorite writer, actor or musician. Having positive influences in your life can help you find the motivation to overcome obstacles and pursue your dreams.

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