Living With Bipolar Disorder as a Nurse & Student

The purpose of this article is to share my experience of living with bipolar in Australia as a 24-year-old nurse, including what has been challenging and what has been supportive.

I count myself lucky to have bipolar disorder in a country like Australia, where the stigma attached to mental illness is continuing to decrease.

I am 24, work casually as a nurse in an emergency department and am completing my honours degree in nursing. Two years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar type I disorder. I had my first depressive episode when I was 14 and my first full-blown manic episode when I was 22. Since my diagnosis I have had 3 hospitalizations, tried to jump off a cliff and have had a few courses of alternative treatments.

The amount of support from family, friends, colleagues and health care professionals has been insurmountable and I wouldn’t be where I am today (which is healthy and happy) without them. I have worked very closely with my psychiatrist and I couldn’t ask for a better doctor. I am lucky that half of my fees are paid for by the public health service when I see my doctor in her private rooms. When I don’t have much money my psychiatrist sees me in her public rooms where her fees are paid for by the government. I am also lucky that the government subsidizes most of my medication. I see a wonderful psychologist, which is free through my university.

The hospital that I go to when needed is a calm and safe place. The staff are all extremely kind and caring and I find it comforting knowing I can go there during difficult times.

Living in the southern part of Australia means that during summer we are exposed to 14 hours of sunlight, which I love. However I have bipolar disorder with seasonal patterns, so I usually become elevated in summer. I have to get enough sleep and take extra sedatives and mood stabilisers to ensure I don’t become psychotically manic. This can be hard because I like to spend as much time at the beach as possible. Whether that is in the early morning running, swimming and surfing, or in the evenings when friends have BBQ’s. The consequences, however, are not worth it and I have to monitor myself.

Unfortunately, though, I have faced some discrimination due to my bipolar disorder – not so much in everyday life, but in my workplace. I used to hold a permanent position in the emergency department, but soon after I started working there my mood swings became progressively worse. It wasn’t long before I discovered that shift work made me unwell. The late nights, early starts and night shifts were either impossible to do when depressed or fuelled my mania during times of elevation. As the months and years went by I needed to take sick leave more frequently and for longer periods as my bipolar disorder became progressively worse. Unfortunately my work couldn’t accommodate my health needs and wouldn’t make adjustments to my roster so I had to resign because I was constantly unwell. This meant that I had to abandon my long-term nursing career goals.

Now I work casually in the department (still as a nurse) but the difference is I can choose my own hours. This is a good thing because I find that my mood is better controlled. However recently I ran out of money because the availability of shifts was scarce and I wasn’t earning enough to live. Needless to say this has been a big stressor and I have had to go onto government payments. Although these payments do help, they’re not much and I live paycheck to paycheck. My family also supports me financially in times of need. When well, l work a few shifts a fortnight.

Yet things could be worse. I have a loving and supportive family and I still live at home. I’m lucky that I was able to complete my university degree and work for 3 years as a nurse before things became really bad. We’re fortunate in Australia to have the government subsidize some health care and the range of pensions available to us. The stigma around mental illness is continuing to decrease as understanding increases and I feel comfortable talking about my bipolar disorder. I am open about having a mental illness and try to educate others about mental health. The discrimination could be a lot worse – in some countries it would be dangerous to be open about having a mental illness. So yes, I am lucky to be living in Australia because the wide range of supports allow me to live a relatively normal life with bipolar disorder.