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Shark Lift-Away Steam Mop with Removable Handheld Steamer (Refurbished)

  • A steam floor mop for floors, plus a built-in detachable handheld unit for steaming your shower, clothes, even your car’s filthy wheels and other hard surfaces
  • Wipes out microbial nasties and the only chemical it needs is H2O
  • 3 levels of intelligent steam control, which is way better than stupid steam control
  • Includes a direct-steam nozzle, flat scrubber tool, and a washable two-sided Steam Pocket Pad (TM, we’re assuming)
  • 22-foot cord and 180-degree swivel so the filth has nowhere to hide
  • Model: S3901 (yes! chalk up another win for the one-letter, four-numbers school of model numbering)
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The Mop of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Hey, I’m ready to go to SteampunkCon! Let’s get our steampunk on!

“Uh, what is that you’re wearing?”

Just, you know, clothes.

“I don’t see any rivets or epaulets. No leather gauntlet, no top hat… unless that hoodie is made of velvet, there’s nothing steampunk about you. At all.”

Oh, isn’t there? What about this mop?

“What about it? It’s not brass. It doesn’t have so much as a single exposed gear or gratuitous analog dial. How is it steampunk?”

Because unlike any of your so-called steampunk gear, it actually uses steam to clean floors. Three levels of steam, in fact. And check this out: it’s got a detachable handheld cleaner for steam-cleaning counters, walls, any hard surfaces.

“OK, it’s steamy, I’ll grant you that.”

And it’s bad-ass! It sterilizes away 99.9% of dastardly microscopic dreadfuls without using any chemicals aside from good old H2O. How’s that for retro-future technology?

“Hmm. Even Jules Verne would be impressed by that.”

Yeah, he would. When we roll into the convention center with this, we’ll be the steamiest punks there. And we won’t have to glue a bunch of spray-painted plumbing parts to our clothes.

“Thank God. These goggles are starting to give me a rash.”

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