The more you learn, the better you will be able to help your friend or loved one with bipolar. Educate yourself about this diagnosis, what to expect with symptoms, and the various treatments.
There is a plethora of information online and through organizations and associations like the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA); better yet, consider joining a support group.
Although this may seem counterintuitive, often when people talk about their problems and even ask for advice, subconsciously they are just looking to vent and find comfort in simply talking, putting their feelings into words.
If you sense this is the case, just listen and encourage without judgment. Sometimes it is most helpful to simply be there and be attentive. Only offer opinions if you are asked to do so and you believe your friend or loved one genuinely wants another perspective to consider.
Let your friend or loved one know you are there for them by being specific and authentic in your offer to help.
If they respond by saying they would like to have someone to talk to, then be precise in how you offer support. For example, you could say: “I work during the day, Monday to Friday, and go to church on Sundays, but I can talk with you on the phone during evening hours and anytime on Saturdays.” This shows them you are not giving them a vague or insincere offer of support—plus, a definite plan can be put in place.
What might be an easy task for you may be a daunting activity for someone dealing with a mood disorder. If you know your friend is in a state of depression and therefore is unlikely to ask for help, offer to do things around the house that you suspect are in need of attention and would help your friend feel a bit better or more comfortable.
Go over and wash the dishes, take out the garbage, and help tidy up; you will have likely accomplished much more than just completing a few chores.
When a person is in a low mood or lacking motivation for anything, it’s not uncommon for them to shut off the outside world. Self-isolation is a symptom of bipolar depression.
Go for a walk with your friend or loved one, grab a bite to eat together, or take a Sunday drive. Offer to pick him up and go for groceries or watch a sporting event together.
Giving your pal a fresh perspective will likely raise his confidence and could help release him from a frustrating state of inertia.
No matter how often your friend or loved one turns down your offer to get together, keep asking (without overwhelming them). Don’t take their refusal of wanting your company as a personal slight.
More than half of those with bipolar are also diagnosed with anxiety—and there may be other unknown factors that keep them from making or sticking to engagements, but they will appreciate being included and not forgotten about.
If it’s the first time your friend has been to a support group, they might be anxious about going alone. Having you there will ease their mind. Even if they are a regular group member, bringing a support person can be a refreshing change and help to keep them encouraged.
It also does wonders to show your friend that you genuinely care and they have your support.
There may be times when you have to encourage your friend to seek professional medical advice, particularly if they have stopped taking their medication. However, if they want to skip a therapy session, that’s their choice.
Remember that unless you’re an expert, the person living with bipolar tends to have deep knowledge about their own symptoms, triggers, and tendencies. Try not to judge the treatment plans and decisions your friend makes on a day-to-day basis.
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Great article! I think sometimes we also have to realize that not everyone is capable of handling our bipolar disorder and we have to just understand that as well ourselves. I think sometimes we always expect people to understand us and then maybe we don’t put enough time into understanding them and how it’s hard on them and some people just are not equipped to handle it. And it’s okay.
1st lesson. We are people with bipolar disorder, we are not bipolar people, we are not our illness. That is a major trigger for some of us!
Excellent article! It would be great if supporters of the bipolar person could read this.
This is probably the best article I ever read on the roll of a care giver. I would suggest pass the article on to our care givers.
I am bipolar I. Also suffer from anxiety that is crippling. This article was great if the highlights actually worked. I had a friend for many years that recently told me I am not worth the trouble. Too much everything. I am devastated. Handling these situations when people are unwilling to accept the way you are hurts. I battle this alone. Not just because of her but others around me too.