What Makes Some People Unforgettable

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When mingling with industry peers at a conference, you don't want to rely on a “Hello My Name Is” sticker in order for people to recognize you. Better to ensure you are remembered by making a memorable first impression. Easier said than done? Actually, no; it's pretty easily done. The challenge is being remembered for all the right reasons.

Documented research on the link between memory and distinctiveness is corroborated with anecdotal evidence. We can all relate to having met someone who is unforgettable. Chances are, they struck you as unique in some way. The woman in the red dress. The man with the pocket watch. A stranger who imparted a valuable piece of information or gave you a compliment that made your day.

We also remember someone who is unexpected and unusual — and that does not mean the best-looking person in the room. Some of the most memorable people are not beauty queens or dashing princes; they are regular-looking people with unique characteristics or warm, endearing personality traits that make the rest of us feel good about ourselves.

Being less attractive is probably not the reason you want to be remembered, but let us start here, to debunk the myth that only beautiful people are worth remembering. In a study by Wiese et al. (2014), researchers discovered that less attractive faces are more memorable than more attractive faces.[i] To arrive at their results, they controlled for distinctiveness, recognizing that distinctive faces are memorable. This finding may explain why we remember some people so well and not others, regardless of their level of attractiveness.

Understanding Beauty

Other research reveals that more attractive people might be better understood. For example, beautiful people are viewed more accurately. In a fascinating study by Lorenzo et al., entitled “What Is Beautiful Is Good and More Accurately Understood” (2010), the researchers discovered that we notice attractive people, which leads us to pay more attention to them, resulting in a greater understanding of their personality.[ii]

The study involved a “round-robin” routine, in which strangers participated in three-minute meetings. The results corroborated the “beautiful is better” stereotype in the sense that more physically attractive individuals were considered to be more desirable. There was, however, an additional finding: The more attractive targets were also viewed more consistently with their self-reported personality traits.

Eye of the Beholder

Further analysis of study results revealed the phenomenon of beauty being in the eye of the beholder. Lorenzo et al. found that idiosyncratic impressions of attractiveness were positively linked with both positivity and impression accuracy.

They found that even people generally not viewed as attractive may benefit from the physical-attraction stereotype when the perceiver considers them to be attractive. This finding is important, because not everyone is lucky enough to be naturally dazzling. Fortunately, interpersonal attraction develops in a number of ways, including through personality characteristics and individual personal taste preferences.

The researchers found that impression accuracy, however, emerged only among individuals perceived to be of at least average attractiveness. As they explained: “People do judge a book by its cover, but a beautiful cover prompts a closer reading, leading more physically attractive people to be seen both more positively and more accurately.”

Worth Remembering

Regardless of how you look, people remember how you made them feel. This usually ends up being far more important than your level of objective attractiveness. In the final analysis, making someone feel good about themselves is likely the best way to be remembered — and fondly.