Black Friday is among us and many people seem all too eager to pull out their credit cards and rush into a spending frenzy. There is a societal cliché that people living with bipolar disorder, who soar into manic highs, are bound to spend too much of their money. This claim may hold some accuracy, but there are times when people with bipolar disorder do not comprehend the financial consequences of their actions. However, there are many things that a person can do to ensure that they do not end up in financial distress.
In the winter of 2005, I was consumed by my first manic episode and bipolar psychosis, and I did not know that I was actually ill. My financial troubles began when I saw a man in a wheelchair outside of a coffee shop, who had no legs, and my manic heart was overwhelmed with empathy for this man. As tears rolled down my cheeks, I approached him and gave him my grandmother’s gold diamond ring. Due to such events, I did end up homeless, penniless, friendless, and jobless, and it took a number of years to regain my financial freedom. Although I was in a deep psychosis, my experience of ending up living in the hospital with five dollars in my pocket is not a situation that I would never want to bestow upon anybody.
During my manic highs, I would use my department store credit cards to ease a void that was plaguing me due to my recent bipolar diagnosis. I also continued to feel a nagging pain of despair when I was depressed, and I hoped that filling my life with things would bring me happiness.
I did not think it was even possible to deal with my financial situation as I had buried myself so deep, but once in a stable state, I knew it was time to take full responsibility for all of my past financial transactions.
Throughout my life, I have found myself purchasing anything that appealed to my senses. If it felt, smelled, tasted, sounded or looked good, I simply had to have it. My senses constantly feel heightened, but I simply had to learn to be mindful and continuously ask myself, “Do I really need everything I want?” I find that when I treat myself periodically, I am more appreciative of my purchases.
People with bipolar disorder may go through extreme periods of mood fluctuations where they are not even aware of their actions. During my psychosis, I spent all of my money, but as I stabilized, I did not have any money left. There was nobody to help me, so it would have been beneficial to have access to a reserve of money to call my own in a time of crisis.
As I eventually managed to obtain a full-time job, I took it upon myself to deal with my financial stress, which included all of my debts. I worked with a credit counsellor, which allowed me to pay monthly increments and today I am debt free!
You may have heard others tell you to freeze your credit cards in a block of ice and I highly recommend this strategy. I also know many people who do not even have their credit cards in their possession. We have to remember that credit is not money and being careless can hold damaging consequences.
All too often we want our financial worries to be eased in an instant, but it simply takes time to deal with a situation that has gotten out of control. I never believed that it was possible to be fiscally aware, but I know now that there is hope in every situation. We can all pick up the pieces caused by a manic storm and slowly rebuild ourselves into a life that is both fiscally responsible and comfortable.
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Thank you so much for your blog – I live this every day. What adds to my psychosis is the fact I have a well paying job. Unfortunately, last year when I was let go because of grant funding issues from my previous employment, I too had not saved anything and long story short, had to move out of my home and in with my sister and her husband (I’m grateful for that because I had no one else and no money).
Everyone tells me to keep a budget sheet, monitor your spending, but the truth is I have not found a tool that works. I get a head than boom, manic and spending because I see the cash as dispensable and the needs of others/myself/charity profound. I always think that this is God calling me to help my fellow man and He will provide money when I need it – it doesn’t work that way – much to my chagrin (it’s taken me 30 years to learn that; let’s hear it for tenacity). The difficulty for me is that I have been unable to find a financial counselor who understands my disease, the challenges that presents, and a way to help me work through it. That’s a constant struggle for me.
Thanks again for your posting.
Years ago I read a book entitled “How to Get Out of Debt and Live Prosperously,” which had a huge effect on my thinking. I have recommended the book to many. One of my most effective strategies for curbing unplanned spending is to carry and index card or a cheque register and note every expenditure when it happens – whether in cash, by cheque, or on credit. It’s kind of like keeping a food diary in that it keeps me accountable and on track.
Right now, I am in financial ruin. I am just realizing what has been happening over the years. I used things to soothe my depression and further fuel my manic highs. I’m trying to pick up the pieces, but it is very hard and depressing.
Sooo true. Even when there seem to be great sales or discounts, we spend more than we thought we saved by the time we pay years of interest rates. I’ll tell you one thing: don’t ever become a mystery shopper!