How to Be Envied

Co-authored by Sheila A. Anderson

Last Updated: December 18, 2022 References

Being envied can be advantageous. You may want others to look up to you at work. You may simply want to be admired in your social circle. Find ways to show off achievements. Avoid bragging, but talk about your successes, travels, and other positive attributes of your life. Behave like a successful person. Dress well and talk about the finer things in life. Work on cultivating charisma. People tend to be jealous of those who are naturally charismatic.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Showing Off Your Achievements

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Find ways to brag subtly. Bragging overtly can put people off. It's more likely to make people dislike you than envy you. However, you can find ways to subtly work your accomplishments into daily conversation. This can make people envious without making you look boastful.^{[1]
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- Express gratitude for success. This will make you look grateful rather than boastful. For example, "I can't believe how great I did on that test. I'm glad I studied so hard."
- Find ways to sound self-deprecating while working in a brag. For example, you got a new internship at a very prestigious magazine. You could say something like, "It's the most professional sounding job title used to indicate I grab big time publishers coffee."
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Use social media to your advantage. Many people feel sad or envious when looking at other people's social media profiles. They may come to envy the lives of those around them. You can use this to your advantage. Try to use your social media profile to make your life look enviable.^{[2]
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- Watch what you post. Try to post things that make your life look fun and exciting. For example, post happy statuses about success at work or school. Post photographs of you and your friends having fun. Post pictures of any fancy possession you have or events you attended.
- Try to avoid posting anything negative. People are unlikely to envy you if you, say, got a "D" on a test or had a negative exchange with your boss. Rant about these issues to close friends rather than broadcasting them online.
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Talk about finer things. People tend to envy those who have refined tastes. If you want to be envied, try to mention the finer things on occasion. This will make you look sophisticated, which may make others envy you.^{[3]
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- Find ways to make yourself look cultured. Start reading the most recently acclaimed books. Attend museums and art shows. See films lauded as artistic and groundbreaking.
- Work these things into conversations. For example, "I just finished reading that new Toni Morrison book this week..." or "Did you see that new photography exhibit at the Art Institute?"
- Much like bragging, however, try not to be over-the-top. Wait until a moment comes to naturally bring such things up in conversation.
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Discuss your travels. People are often jealous of those who travel a lot. If you've been on a vacation recently, or have traveled a lot in general, bring this into conversation to make your life look enviable.^{[4]
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- Tell anecdotes of your travels at parties and get-togethers. Share pictures online and with others during social events.
- If you've traveled somewhere where you've been exposed to other cultures, mention this. This can make you look worldly.
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Behaving Like a Success

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Be somewhat exclusive. You do not have to be cruel, but successful people are often too busy to fit everyone into their busy lives. Therefore, work on being a little exclusive with your time. This may make you look successful, which can spur envy in others.^{[5]
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- Spend your time with people who bring you up. You should strive to hang out with people who are successful, interesting, and motivated. This can make other people envy your social circle. For example, try to befriend the most successful person at your office or the best student in your class.
- Try to make it look as if you're busy. If someone asks you to go out on the weekend, mention your schedule and obligations. This will make your life look packed with exciting activities.
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Dress the part. If you want to look successful, it's important to dress well. Others will be drawn to someone with a fancier sense of style. This can inspire envy in those around you.^{[6]
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- To look stylish, dress in quality classic pieces that fit well. Keep your outfit monochromatic or wear neutrals or dark colors. Vary your fabric textures, layer your clothes, and add interest with accessories.
- Splurge on some nice clothes. More expensive outfits may cost a bit more, but they'll last longer and make you look more impressive.
- You can also pair more expensive items with cheaper staples. For example, a pricey blouse or button-down shirt can be worn with a cheaper pair of dress pants.
- If you're on a budget, try shopping somewhere like Marshall's or TJ Maxx. These places often sell designer clothing for discount prices.
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Have knowledge of world events. People often envy those who they perceive as worldly. If you want to be admired by those around you, develop a knowledge of world events and world culture.^{[7]
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- Start by watching the news. Turn on CNN in the background while you clean at home. Listen to a news show on your morning commute.
- You can also read some. Get a subscription to magazines that talk about world events. Check a few online news sources each morning. Read some books that cover basic world history and culture.
- Find ways to mention your knowledge of world events on occasion. If someone is talking about current events, for example, throw in a few references to something you've read or watched recently.
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Drop names on occasion. As with any aspect of being envied, be careful when name-dropping. You do not want to look obnoxious or annoying. However, when the opportunity presents itself, drop the name of a contact you know. At work, for example, if people are expressing worry about a client you know who's coming to the office, say something like, "Oh, I know Jared personally. We play cards together and he's a great guy."^{[8]
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Cultivating Charisma

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Give off positive energy. People may envy those who are charismatic by nature. One key aspect to charisma is positivity. If you exude positive energy, people will be more drawn to you.
- Try to go into any situation with a positive attitude. Hope for the best at school, work, social situations, and other aspects of your life.
- Surround yourself with other positive people. You do not want to be around anyone who's going to drain you emotionally.^{[9]
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- Engage in positive self-talk. If you screw something up at work, think, "This is an opportunity to grow" instead of "I'm so mad at myself for failing."^{[10]
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Be authentic. People tend to envy those who are comfortable with themselves and their interests. This can also make you look more charismatic. Try not to fake interest or enthusiasm. Do not appear shameful of your own interests, moods, and passions.
- Be upfront with others. Showcase your unique sense of humor and style. Express your interests and opinions without shame. People will be drawn to you naturally if you give off a sense of authenticity.
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Work on building your confidence. Confidence is enviable, and it can help build your charisma. If you don't already have a good self-image, take steps to work on feeling good about yourself.
- If there's an area in your life you would like to improve, work on it. This may help improve your confidence. If you're insecure about your body, for example, try working out and eating healthier.
- Take action in your life. If you're more proactive, you'll feel better about yourself. Talk to someone you think is attractive at the bar. Approach someone at a networking event.^{[11]
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- Speak more assertively. This can help you feel confident. Avoid "ums" and "uhs." Simply cut to your point.
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Smile. It's a small thing, but it can go a long way. Work on smiling throughout the day. Smile at co-workers at the water cooler. Smile at people you make eye contact with on the street. This can make you look happy and charismatic, which may spurn envy in others.
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Have enthusiasm. Enthusiasm can help boost your energy. It can also boost the energy of those around you. Being enthusiastic throughout the day can increase your charisma. If you're a naturally charismatic person, this may make others jealous.
- Sit up straight, smile, and make eye contact. This will make you look energetic and enthusiastic.^{[12]
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- Go into every situation with a willingness to listen to others, learn, and try new things.
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How can I do this when I'm at a new school and I don't know anyone?

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This is a chance to start over. Be happy, social, and develop your own personality to show others.

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