How to Relieve School Anxiety for Special Needs Children

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Last Updated: February 8, 2022 References

Going to school can cause anxiety in any child, but school-related anxiety is especially common in special needs children. These children may not understand the reason behind going to school, struggle with learning difficulties, suffer from learning anxiety or feel lonely and separated from their peers. Reducing this kind of school-related anxiety in special needs children can be a challenge, which requires parents and teachers to work together to identify the cause of the anxiety and come up with proactive solutions.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Identifying the Cause of Anxiety

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Understand that a child's school anxieties may be related to their specific condition. "Special needs" is a broad term that can refer to a vast array of mental and behavioral conditions. The type of school-related anxieties experienced by a child with intellectual disabilities may be very different from those experienced by an autistic child.^{[1]
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Research source
Allen, Francis. “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders”. (4th Ed.), American Psychological Association, 1990.pp. 507-511.} Therefore, it's very important that you take your child's specific condition into account when you try to tackle the issue.
- Children with intellectual disabilities: Children with intellectual disabilities usually have an IQ between 50 and 75 (the average IQ is 100). This means that they often have difficulty learning and communicating. They have to work much harder at learning than their peers, which can result in feelings of frustration and low self-worth, leading to anxiety.
- Children with ADHD: Children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder have difficulty concentrating, keeping organized, controlling impulses, and (in some children) sitting still. As a result, they may have trouble with keeping track of and completing their work, or engage in disruptive or inappropriate behaviors that get them in trouble with their teachers or peers. This can cause them to feel unhappy and anxious about school.
- Children with learning disabilities: Children who have difficulty with reading, mathematics or written expressions are often unable to process information in the same way as others, but this sometimes goes unrecognized. When this occurs, the child is not given the additional support they need and falls behind as a result, leading to feelings of anxiety and low self-worth.
- Autistic children: Autistic children often have difficulty communicating with other people and with understanding social norms. They may be overwhelmed by noisy classrooms, struggling to keep track of assignments, and bullied by peers or even teachers. This can make school frustrating and frightening.
- Children with conduct disorder: Children with conduct disorder tend to behave in an antisocial manner, acting aggressively towards others and refusing to follow the rules. These children have a lot of difficulty in school and are almost constantly in trouble, causing anxiety which exacerbates the bad behavior.^{[2]
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  Research source
  Comer, J. R. (2008). “Abnormal psychology”. (7th Ed.) Princeton University Press, pp.518-523..}
2
Identify the specific symptoms of anxiety in your child. Dealing with your child's school-related anxiety will require you to fully understand what causes these negative emotions in your child, and to recognize how they express them. It can be very easy to mistake your child's anxiety for bad behavior, which is not helpful for either of you. Some common expressions of anxiety include:^{[3]
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- Complaining about feeling sick or having a pain in their stomach on a Sunday night or Monday morning before school.
- Crying and temper tantrums before or during school.
- Being in a bad mood or constantly insisting that they don't want to go to school.
- Bad behavior becoming progressively worse as school time approaches.
- Clingy behavior — refusing to let go of the parent's hand, leg or waist.
- Manipulative behavior, such as crying, extreme tantrums, acting aggressively or hurting themselves in order to get out of going to school.
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Speak to your child's teachers. Speaking to your child's teachers and observing how they interact with your child in the classroom is a good idea. It's very important that there is good communication between parent and teacher when it comes to a special needs child.^{[4]
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- Teachers may be able to provide insights into your child's everyday behavior that you would never have known otherwise. They may have noticed patterns when it comes to the child's anxious behaviors and provide constructive advice on how you can support the child's learning at home.
- On the other hand, the teacher will benefit from your insight, as you may be able to fill them in on the specifics of your child's condition and make them aware of the issues they have been having.
- It may also be a good idea idea to speak to the principal and other teachers in the school so everyone that your child comes in contact with is aware of the issue and knows how to handle any problems with your child in an appropriate way.
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Observe how your child behaves in the classroom. It may be a good idea to ask the teacher if they would allow you to sit it on a lesson and observe how the child behaves. This may help you to understand the source of your child's anxiety.
- Keep in mind that your child may behave differently than they normally would if they know you are in the classroom. Therefore, it's best if you are able to sit at the back of the classroom or behind a screen, where your child is unaware of your presence.
- Pay attention to how the child responds to the teacher's questions or requests, look at how they interact with other children (if at all) and try to identify the times when your child is focused and when they become distracted.
- Watching how they act in the school yard at playtime is also a good idea, as the school anxiety may not be related to their schoolwork, but rather to the social aspect of school and their interactions with other children.
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Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Coping With the Anxiety

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Tailor the schoolwork to each child's individual abilities. One of the main reasons behind school anxiety in special needs children is frustration and feelings of low self-worth when they have difficulty understanding the material and keeping up with their peers. Therefore, it is essential that you find a learning speed and technique that is appropriate for your child, which allows them to learn without feeling pressurized.^{[5]
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- Engaging in schoolwork that they can fully understand will boost your child's self-esteem and help them to feel happier about going to school. This is particularly important for children with intellectual or learning disabilities, who perform much better when they can work at their own pace.
- Although the teacher may be able to provide separate assignments for your child, in some cases it will be necessary to enlist the help of a special needs assistant who can sit with your child and walk them through their schoolwork. This is often necessary for children with ADHD, who can benefit hugely from having someone to keep them focused and engaged in their work.
- This will allow your child to receive the individual attention they deserve, without slowing down the rest of the classroom.
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Reward good behaviors with positive reinforcements. Using positive reinforcements by praising or rewarding your child for good behavior will do wonders in alleviating their school anxiety. There are several reward methods you can try:^{[6]
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- Using a star chart is a great way to reward good behavior, as it is simple and easily understood by children. For every day that your child goes to school without complaint, does all of their homework, or doesn't throw a tantrum at the school gate, they get a gold star. After a week of gold stars (or whatever goal you choose) you can give your child a more tangible reward, like an ice cream or a small toy.
- You can also use positive reinforcements by verbally praising your child each time they exhibit good behavior or complete a task, no matter how small. Try telling your child that they did a great job, clap for them or give them a sticker. Hopefully, this will encourage the child to continue to behave well.
- Praise can be particularly useful for autistic children, as it will help them to associate good behavior with a reward. It can be especially helpful to tell them why the behavior is so good.
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Be firm and assertive with your child. Although it can be very difficult, it's important to be firm and assertive with your child, without getting angry or being unkind. Children need boundaries and shouldn't be allowed to manipulate parents or teachers using bad behavior in order to get their own way.^{[7]
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- Don't allow the child to stay home from school or avoid doing their homework just because they cry or have a tantrum. Instead, take a moment to get down to their level and figure out why they are being so resistant. Calmly explain why they need to go to school and tell them that it would make you very happy if they were good.
- Giving in to tantrums or other bad behavior will signal to the child that it's okay to behave in that way and that it will allow them to get what they want. This will simply make matters worse.
- This is particularly important for children with conduct disorders or ADHD, who often use destructive, aggressive behaviors to wear parents and teachers down and get their own way. A firm, assertive hand combined with positive reinforcements for good behavior is your best chance of getting through to these children.
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Spend time with your child and help them with their schoolwork. When dealing with school anxiety in special needs children, it's very important that you spend a lot of time with them and do your best to make school a safe, happy place for them.^{[8]
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- You can do this by sitting down with your child when they are doing their homework and working through it with them. Try to make it fun for them — use rhymes or games to help them remember information and praise them each time they complete a task.
- Spending time working with your child will also help you to identify the specific areas they struggle with, whether it's sounding out words, completing mathematical problems or simply staying focused. You can then work harder in that specific area by supplementing your child's schoolwork with additional practice at home.
- This is particularly important for children with learning disabilities, who are often highly intelligent, but don't process information in the same way as others.
5
Help your child to associate school with positive emotions. One great way to help your child to associate school with good, happy feelings is through role playing games. Let your child pretend to be the teacher while you pretend to be the student, or use small toys or dolls to act out situations.
- This kind of role playing can actually be very revealing when it comes identifying the causes of your child's anxiety. They may say or do something during a game that will draw attention to a specific worry or concern — whether it's sitting alone at lunch time or getting in trouble with the teacher.
- If possible, get other children involved in the play pretend, whether it's your child's siblings or schoolmates. Ask them to act out good behavior, so your special needs child can observe, participate and learn from it. They can then try to model this behavior at home and at school.
- Training your child to associate school with feelings of happiness is important for children with all kinds of disabilities, whose anxiety surrounding school may stem from the negative emotions they currently associate with it — such as fear at being separated from their parents, anger at being unable to understand schoolwork, frustration at being cooped up in an enclosed space, or feelings of loneliness due to their lack of identification with other children.
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Because of bullying, I am very anxious at school. I become antisocial and get snippy really fast. How can I make my teachers understand that I'm not a mean person, that I'm having trust issues?

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Talk to them! Approach each of your teachers before or after class and explain exactly what's going on. They will most likely be very understanding about this, and they may be able to help you with the bullying issues. You can (and should) also talk to the school counselor about this.

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When reinforcing learning at home, try using attractive, brightly colored books and toys to hold onto your child's attention.

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