Tyrese Is Basically Just Feuding With Himself Now, Right?

While the rest of the world is falling apart, Tyrese Gibson would like to remind you that he’s feuding with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson after the latter delayed the ninth Fast & Furious movie to do a spinoff. Although, that’s not entirely true, because a feud requires two active participants.

Tyrese spent much of last week fuming about the spinoff (which will come out in July 2019 and costar Jason Statham), putting the blame on Johnson for ostensibly destroying the “#FastFamily.” He posted a photo of the first movie in the series, The Fast and the Furious, which he himself was not even in; Vin Diesel got involved. It was a whole thing.

But Johnson never really engaged, instead passive-aggressively posting a gaudy Instagram announcing the spinoff and intermittently using the hashtag #BigDogsEat.

That seems to have pushed Tyrese into a strange place, because Wednesday he posted a video on his account of Johnson trashing his 2015 album, Black Rose. To recap: Tyrese posted a video of Johnson making fun of Tyrese on his own Instagram. “Haters come in many forms,” Tyrese added in a caption.

The video, which was almost definitely not made in conjunction with this recent #FastFeud—Black Rose is from 2015, and in the video, Johnson refers to it as a “new album”—is amazing and seems like some kind of WWE-style kayfabe Tyrese made Johnson do to promote Black Rose. It’s “the biggest piece of dog shit that I have ever heard,” Johnson says with a near-smile before getting more specific. “Not even the hard, dried-up dog shit for seven days; it’s soft dog shit, like, baby shit.”

I think we need to take a step back and consider what this latest twist in the feud means. First of all, it probably means that Tyrese spent the entire week waiting for a specific response from Johnson to come. When it never did, instead of saying to himself, “OK, I guess this is simmering down, maybe I should go outside and walk a cheetah or something,” he opted to make it look like Johnson responded to him. And he did this by unearthing an unused promotional video that was apparently wasting away in the depths of his iPhone storage. (The video does not exist on either Tyrese or Johnson’s Instagrams. I know because I spent an ungodly amount of time scrolling back to early 2015.) I don’t know if that’s brilliant or deranged, but it’s clear that this thing is being fueled by one side only.

So, where do we go from here? If Johnson refuses to go after Gibson directly, and Gibson wants to keep making this a thing, maybe he’ll continue posting old videos of Johnson disparaging him? Do you think he has a vault? Maybe the Rock has rated all of Tyrese’s work on a scale of soft shit to hard shit. Anything is possible at this point.