After years of years of being “instructed” how to look, feel, and even act, 21-year-old model Nyadak “Duckie” Thot is embracing her inner voice. The recent target of online bullying, Duckie opened up about her struggle to not only embrace her natural hair on set, but also how difficult it is to find skilled stylists who are familiar with her hair texture and type. Her honest Instagram post received over 15,000 likes — and revisits the ongoing discussion on lack of diversity in the fashion industry.
Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time top models have spoken out about not feeling confident during photo shoots. Catwalk queen Jourdan Dunn tweeted about her frustration about lackluster hair and makeup preparation behind the scenes, which was echoed by fellow models Nykhor Paul and Leomie Anderson. Even the iconic Naomi Campbell shared her past experiences about having to do her own hair and makeup backstage because the team wasn’t qualified. "It’s disappointing to hear that models of color are still encountering these same issues all these years later,” she shared with Teen Vogue in March.
Teen Vogue exclusively caught up with Duckie, the South Sudanese Aussie beauty, to hear how she’s taking the high road — and how she's loving herself inside (and out).
Teen Vogue: You recently spoke up on social media about being hesitant to appear on set with your natural hair, and you also wrote about a painful experience you had on Australia's Next Top Model. [Editor’s Note: Duckie had to cornrow hair herself during one of the challenges due to an inexperienced hairstylist.] How did you feel, and how did you bounce back after that?
Duckie Thot: That experience definitely didn't make me feel confident. I felt like a joke during that whole scene to be honest And, I felt like that many other times during the show. I got a lot of backlash on social media for my weight gain, the color of my skin, andmy hair. So, I took quite a few blows as a 17-year-old girl — and it was hard to understand why. I was lucky enough to have a mentor who understood what I was going through; her name is Charlotte Dawson. And, she had her own online battle with negative comments on social media, which unfortunately she took her own life over. But no matter what she was personally going through, she always made the effort and time to make sure I was okay. She called me after every episode, she spoke out for me during interviews, she went the extra mile every time for me. That was really my driving force post-show.
TV: You've been modeling for quite some time, do you often bring tools and products on set to ensure you feel comfortable? Or, do you show up and hope for the best?
DT: Typically, I always do a mask before the shoot and try to get a decent amount of sleep. Shooting can take a full day, sometimes even up to 10 hours plus, so it’s important for me to feel well-rested. I tend to bring a bottle of foundation and some clip-ins/ weaves on most my shoots. Believe it or not, a lot of the time makeup artists or even hair stylists, they’ve never worked with a girl with my complexion or hair texture. I do my part to make sure they properly do theirs. It's not a personal thing against them or their work, I just know my skin and hair better than anyone else does — and I know what works well for me.
TV: You’ve mentioned you often wear wigs and extensions on shoots or casting calls. How does this affect your relationship with your natural hair?
DT: First and foremost, hair is an accessory and doesn't define a woman. I've done all things possible with my hair for the industry — I've been skin bald, shaved, cut with blonde hair, I've been fairy floss pink, I've tried and done everything possible for other people. What I've learned from all of this is that you need to step in being your complete self. If that means walking up to a casting with a 24-inch Brazilian weave down to my butt, then so be it! I feel good, I feel sexy, and I feel confident. With that being said, with natural hair becoming more socially acceptable, I think people often forget that wigs, weaves, and extensions are a part of and came from black culture too! In my field especially growing up and trying to work in Australia, no one really went out of their way to help me. I remember doing absolutely everything they asked of me. I'd still end up with bald patches on my head or looking pasty or ashy in the face on the photos.
TV: In your own opinion, why do you think models of color (or even women of color) are still being bullied about their natural hair in 2016? What do you think needs to happen in order for it to stop?
DT: Being a black woman, we haven't really been taught how to take care of our natural hair — we've only been taught how to hide it. I think hair companies, the media, hairstylists, and the industry itself are to blame. They haven't made the same efforts to ensure black women are looked after in their most natural form. If you really think about it, it's the black women on YouTube who have really held it down with their natural hair tutorials. I think [the industry] should really take ownership and start to invest into us.
TV: Unfortunately, you are not the first model to speak out on on these issues. Do you often hear other "horror stories" from friends or other up-and-coming models on photo shoots?
DT: Of course, I can definitely relate to that! The first time I really saw the struggle with black women in the industry was my sister [Nikki Perkins]. When she started modeling I was about 15 years old, and I kinda picked on the little things she had to do. And, I was kinda shocked by it really, but as soon as I stepped in I got it. Really, it's the little things that a girl notices when she's sitting in the makeup chair. Like when the makeup artist pulls out their palette and they've got 20 different shades of foundation for a white girl, but only have four “darker” shades. Then, I'm awkwardly sitting there thinking "none of that matches my skin whatsoever." It’s those type of situations that [black models] are put in and not catered to. That shouldn’t be our responsibility to uphold or something we need to go the extra mile every single time for on a job. But unfortunately, that’s the case. By constantly challenging and pushing at [these discrepancies] I hope we will eventually make a difference.
TV: How does the fashion industry as a whole play into this? For example, what steps can casting directors and bookers take to ensure all of their talent feels comfortable and confident regardless of what ethnicity they are?
DT: I personally believe it comes down to respect. A lot of the time people in the industry talk as if models are a canvas instead of a person standing directly in front of you. It’s things that make things awkward for a model. [As a model] my job is just as important as the stylist, photographer, or director. We're all here to get the shot — you need me for the shot and I need you to get this shot. Everyone really needs to be on the same page. With the industry, I think they love to leave the model last and say “this is our job, we’re doing this on the model, we’re doing that on the model…” and forgetting that the model is still a human being.
TV: Do you have a roster of hairstylists with whom you prefer to work the most? Do you feel empowered enough to request your own team — or do you fear earning the reputation as a diva?
DT: [Laughs] Well, I kind of just came out here [New York City] a few months ago, so I don’t think I’m at that point where I can request a team just yet. But, I do think it’s something worth considering. Simply because, like I said earlier, I’m here to do my job as well and make it as good as I possibly can. It’s hard to find the right hairstylist that knows exactly what they're doing and won’t damage your hair or fry it, all those sorts of things. It’s extremely hard to find that. So, bouncing from hairstylist to hairstylist isn’t always the best idea for a girl’s hair. It’s worth considering but for now, I’m good!
TV: Your sister Nikki is also a well-known Australian model and vlogger, has she had any really good advice about addressing or avoiding the haters?
DT: Nikki has had her YouTube channel for quite some time now, actually since before I started modeling. So, I’ve seen the “dirty side” of social media and really having your life out there and what people would publicly say. Even about the smallest of small things, people would have an opinion. Nikki always just told me, “it is what is is, as you grow the hate will grow, and that’s okay.” If mostly positive energy [is what] you are putting that out there, you’ll get that back. You’ll always have people say negative things about you, or what you do. But, remember what people think about you doesn’t define you. At the end of the day when I’m reading those [negative] comments, they wouldn’t ever say that to my face — I know that for a fact! And, these are just people who can say whatever they want to say because you give them a platform to, which again, is okay too. I think that when you have your life in the public eye, you also need to understand you are giving them the opportunity to say whatever they want to say. You really need to be confident within yourself, first and foremost, before you even put yourself out there.
TV: How do you hope to inspire other young girls of color or not with your modeling career? And, what’s next for you?
DT: When I started, I didn’t really have a black woman to look up to in Australia. Like, I’d go to the shopping mall and I wouldn’t see a woman of color displayed on anything, like ever! One day, I remember I really noticed it. I went around the whole shopping center looking for a woman who was the same color as me, kinda representing “me” — and didn’t find one. I think, that’s what encouraged me to have some representation. It wasn’t easy for me growing up and not having any type of role model out in Australia. So, I was super persistent until I got my foot in the door and did work. Then, I came straight here because [in Australia], there’s a true lack of representation in the industry and I felt that personally as a child. It’s not fun to feel that. So my driving force is that hopefully — well, they don’t necessarily look to me — but that black women in general need to be out there the way that other women are. It needs to happen for “us” already!
TV: Anything else you want to say directly to Teen Vogue readers?
DT: Since I started modeling, I’ve been molded by absolutely everybody in every corner. People have always told me what to do, what I should look like, what hair I should have — all these sorts of things. And, I listened to these comments for a very long time. I took some time off, maybe about two years ago, right after my sister had passed, to really find myself and figure out how I felt. What I got from all of that, is you need to find yourself first before you do this thing properly. Yes, I did have a career on Australia's Next Top Model and it did go downhill for awhile because I didn’t know who I was, plus I didn’t take the time to to figure who I could actually be. I’d always had other people’s opinions in my ear. When I started listening to my own voice, that’s when things really started picking up for me. That for me has been the biggest change in my whole career — listening to myself, what I feel, and what I know. Until you find your own groove, you’re going to be confused. I definitely recommend finding yourself before you dive into something. Really being sure of what you represent and being confident in that. Know that you’re a voice for hundreds or thousands of girls out there.
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