How to Overcome Postpartum Anxiety and Depression

Co-authored by Alexandra Janelli

Last Updated: May 25, 2021 References

Welcoming a child into your life comes with challenges, no matter how much you love your baby. Having the 'baby blues' right after you give birth is relatively normal, but if your blues get worse and last more than a couple weeks, you may have postpartum depression. This depression and anxiety can cause you to think and feel negatively about yourself and your child. Luckily there are ways that you can overcome these negative thoughts and emotions, while also creating a healthy lifestyle for yourself that will help you to overcome this condition.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Creating a Happier Lifestyle for Yourself

1
Don't try to be supermom. Remind yourself that you are only human—you cannot do everything, all the time. You can, however, still be a great mom, just by being an ordinary, loving mom. Don't get down on yourself or feel guilty if you make a mistake—everyone makes mistakes.
- If you start feeling guilty or upset about a mistake you made or something that happened, remind yourself of the things you've done write or accomplished recently. Shifting your focus to something positive can help you to combat feelings of depression and anxiety.
2
Eat a balanced diet. After you have given birth to your baby, it is important that you eat a balanced diet, as you may be lacking some nutrients. Talk to your doctor about what vitamins and minerals you might be deficient in. Try to eat a balanced diet that includes^{[1]
X
Trustworthy Source

HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

Go to source}:
- Lean protein.
- Fresh fruits and vegetables.
- Low-fat dairy products.
- Complex carbohydrates.
- Unsaturated fats.
3
Try to exercise at least three times a week. It is important to slowly work your way back into exercising, rather than jumping right back into training for a marathon. Your exercise could be as simple as taking your baby for a half hour walk.
- Try to exercise at least three times a week because when you exercise, your body releases endorphins that can both make you happy and relieve any stress that you feel.
4
Practice breathing exercises if you start feeling anxious. Whenever you feel panic or anxiety creeping in, get some water, sit down, and focus on your breathing. Clear everything else from your head and simply focus on your breath flowing in and out of your body. You can also practice breathing exercises like^{[2]
X
Research source
Comer, J. R. (2008). “Abnormal psychology”. (7th Ed.) Princeton University Press, pp.518-523.}:
- Breathing in slowly, for 10 seconds, holding your breath for a moment, and then releasing the air slowly for another 10 seconds. You should count the seconds in your head while doing this. Repeat this process until you feel calmer.
- Self-hypnosis can help you manage some of your anxiety. Lie in a quiet place and relax the different muscle groups in your body, starting in your toes and working your way up to your head. As you do that, allow your thoughts to come up, but then release them so you're staying in a relaxed state.^{[3]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Alexandra Janelli
  Certified Hypnotherapist & Anxiety and Stress Management Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 27 August 2020.}
When you are suffering from postpartum anxiety and depression, you may find it challenging to sleep, particularly if you baby wakes up throughout the night. Despite these challenges, it is important that you try to get at least eight hours of sleep throughout the night and day. Getting enough rest will help you to be able to
6
Spend some time in the sunlight. When your vitamin D levels drop below normal levels, you can become depressed and feel anxious more easily, so it is important to get the vitamin D that you need each day. One of the most effective ways to do this is by spending some time in the sun. When sunlight gets absorbed through your skin, your body produces vitamin D.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- Go out for a hike in the daylight. Spend some time gardening, or take your baby for a walk (but make sure to protect your baby from the sun).
Advertisement

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Handling Negative Emotions

1
Express your emotions to someone you trust. Keeping your emotions bottled up can make your condition worse, rather than making them simply go away. Because of this, it is important to talk to someone about what you are going through. Talking to someone else can also help you to see your emotions from an objective standpoint.^{[5]
X
Research source} Take the time to talk to:
- Your spouse. It is important to let your partner know what you are going through so that he/she can help you to the best of their ability.
- A family member who has gone through childbirth.
- A friend who you feel comfortable talking to and know you won't be judged by.
- A therapist. If you feel like talking to family or friends hasn't brought you the comfort you need, set up an appointment with a therapist. If you don't know what therapist to go to, ask your doctor for a recommendation.
2
Keep an emotion journal. Keeping an emotion journal can help you to see that your emotions are fleeting, rather than permanent. When you begin to feel anxiety, sadness, anger, or some other emotion, write down the emotion and the details that go along with it. By doing this, you will be able to keep track of what triggers your anxiety or depression, and will help you to think about how you would like to handle these emotions in the future.^{[6]
X
Research source} In particular, write down:
- Write down what emotion you were feeling.
- Rate the intensity of your emotion from 0% to 100%.
- Write down what caused the emotion.
- Keep track of your response to the emotion.
- Consider what response you would like to have in the future.
3
Join a support group. Sometimes being around women who are experiencing the same things as you can be an eye opening experience that can give you insights into your own condition. As support groups, women who have had, or presently have, postpartum depression and anxiety can share what they are going through with women that have experienced the same thing.
- Talk to your doctor about support groups in your area.
4
Take time to do the things that you enjoy and make you happy. Taking some 'me' time to focus on activities that you enjoy can provide a much needed break from your negative thoughts or feelings. Doing something relaxing outside of your home and take the time to think about your emotions, your life, and your health. Consider the things you are grateful for.^{[7]
X
Trustworthy Source

HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

Go to source}
- Do activities that will leave you feeling accomplished, like going on a hike or planting some flowers. Keep this accomplishment in your thoughts if you begin to feel depressed or anxious again later.
5
Try not to isolate yourself. Keeping yourself from your baby, partner, friends, and family may seem like all you want to do, but you must overcome these feelings. Isolating yourself will only make your condition worse, while also deteriorating your physical health. Instead some quality time one-on-one with your baby, your partner, and close friends or family.
- Taking the time to really engage with someone else can help you to start feeling more like yourself.
6
Try to recognize that you are a great mother. While your depression and anxiety might make you feel like you are not the best mother, you have to overcome these thoughts. Remind yourself that you created a beautiful baby whom you love and want to give the world to.
- Leave sticky notes on your bathroom mirror or near your bed where you will be reminded that you are a great mother.
- Take moments where you could think negatively, like if you have to go to your baby because he has woken up in the middle of the night, and instead think, “I am a great mom to be here holding my baby at 2 a.m., singing him a lullaby”.
Advertisement

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Analyzing Your Negative Thoughts

1
Recognize your negative thoughts. At the heart of postpartum depression and anxiety are negative thoughts. When you think unhealthy thoughts frequently enough, they can become automatic and even comfortable. To overcome your postpartum condition, you will first have to overcome these negative thoughts and the way to do that is to recognize that you are having them. There are many different kinds of negative thoughts. The most common ones that occur with postpartum depression are^{[8]
X
Research source
Antony, M. M., & Barlow, D. H. (2011). Assesment and Treatment Planning for Psychological Disorders. New York, NY: Guilford Press.Burns, David D., MD.}:
- All or Nothing Thinking means seeing things in black and white categories. For example, if your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
- Overgeneralization means seeing a single negative event as a never ending pattern of defeat.
- Mental Filter means focusing on a negative detail and dwelling on it.
- Disqualifying the positive means rejecting positive experiences as if they didn't happen.
- Emotional reasoning means believing the negative emotions you feel reflect reality, when really they might not.
- Should statements are when guilt occurs because you did not do something that you think you 'should' have.
- Personalization is when you see yourself as the cause of an event that was actually completely out of your control.
2
Make a list of the negative thoughts that you have. Doing this will allow you to look at your negative thoughts in a more objective way. Keep a pad of paper with you and when you realize that you are thinking negatively, write down what you have been thinking, as well as what made you think the negative thought.^{[9]
X
Research source
Comer, J. R. (2008). “Abnormal psychology”. (7th Ed.) Princeton University Press, pp.518-523.} For example:
- If you find yourself thinking, “I can't do anything right because my baby won't stop crying”, write it down on your pad of paper. You should also write down what made you think this thought, for example your baby being asleep and then starting to cry out of the blue.
3
Look at evidence that proves your negative thought is wrong. Sometimes, we can't see something that is right in front of us because we are too focused on something in our heads. This is the case with postpartum depression and anxiety. Try to separate yourself from your negative thoughts and think about the positive things and accomplishments you have achieved. For example:
- If your negative thought is, “I can't do anything right”, think about something large like the fact that you created a beautiful baby, or something small, like the fact that you fed your child successfully this morning.
Instead of putting yourself down in a harsh, condemning way, talk to yourself in the same way that you would talk to a friend. You wouldn't cut a friend down and tell her how she is doing everything wrong. You would focus on the positive things she has done, and would compliment her and show her kindness. This is how you must treat yourself if you are going to recover from your postpartum condition.^{[10]
X
Research source
Comer, J. R. (2008). “Abnormal psychology”. (7th Ed.) Princeton University Press, pp.518-523.}
5
Consider other factors that could be leading to the situation that has caused you to have a negative thought. Instead of automatically blaming yourself for problems, consider all the other factors that can affect a situation. By doing this, you will recognize that you are not responsible for all of the mishaps in your life. For example:
- If your baby is sleeping and wakes up in the middle of the night, do not think “I am a bad mother because I can't get my baby to sleep through a full night”. Instead, think about the reasons that you baby might have woken up. Is he hungry? Did a loud noise startle him?
- It is not your fault that your baby woke up, but it is your responsibility to get him back to sleep by figuring out what he needs.
Advertisement

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Seeking Therapy and Medical Advice

1
Talk to a professional about what you are going through. In some cases, talking to friends and family, keeping emotion and thought journals, and changing your lifestyle isn't enough. In these instances, you should consider seeking the help of a professional.^{[11]
X
Research source
Allen, Francis. (1999). “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders”. (4th Ed.), American Psychological Association. pp. 507-511.}
- A therapist will help you talk through your emotions and help you to create strategies for how to face your depression and anxiety.
- A marriage counselor can help you to get the support you need. Sometimes postpartum depression and anxiety can be brought on by feeling unsupported by your partner.
2
Discuss hormone therapy with your doctor. When you give birth, your hormones get completely thrown out of whack. Sometimes hormone therapy can help to balance out your hormone levels, particularly those involving estrogen. However, there are some complications that can occur with hormone therapy so it is always wise to talk with your doctor in detail about the therapy.^{[12]
X
Trustworthy Source

HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

Go to source}
- Estrogen hormone therapy can be used in conjunction with antidepressants.
3
Take antidepressants if your depression and anxiety has gotten severe. If you find that you are unable to take care of yourself or your child, it is of the utmost importance that you seek medical help. One treatment option that your doctor may suggest is for you to take antidepressant medication.^{[13]
X
Trustworthy Source

HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

Go to source}
- Antidepressant use must be accompanied by therapy sessions to ensure that you are getting the help that you need.
Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Search

Add New Question

Ask a Question

200 characters left

Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

Submit

Tips

Allow others to help you. Adjusting to having a child can be tough, so accept the help of family members and friends.

Thanks
Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

Warnings

If you ever have thoughts of harming yourself, someone else, or your child you need to call the local police immediately.

Thanks
Helpful 3 Not Helpful 0