Friendship: The “Golden Secret” to Living Well with Bipolar

Last Updated: 25 Sep 2019
25 Comments
Views

Having tried-and-true friends who stand at your side can make a world of difference in achieving and maintaining your stability.


Twenty years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. For 15 years now, I have been in a remission or stable with just a few changes in my medication. I look forward to sharing my trials and tribulations with the illness and all the life lessons I have learned along the way. I hope my experience with this disease brings you hope.

Do you remember the television show “Golden Girls ” from the 1980’s-1990’s? Four sometimes grumpy, grey haired woman with wrinkles lived together as roommates. They shared their heart aches and joys in the kitchen at midnight over cheesecake and ice-cream.

I have been blessed enough to have my own golden girl friendship with Penny, my best friend. She has made a positive impact on my journey.

On a sunny, 80-degree California day when I was 6 years old, Penny moved in down the street from my beautiful, two-story house. Right from the get go we were inseparable. I will never forget sitting in her kitchen at her very small wooden table coloring a picture of Strawberry Shortcake and asking her to be my best friend. To my delight she said yes. I had no idea that friendship would withstand the test of time.

We spent summers on the ocean chasing freezing, salty waves. We Irish danced together and, in front of the entire talent show audience, Jenny’s shoe feel off. We were the laughing stock of the school. We fought like sisters and drove our parents nuts. I wanted the bigger piece of chocolate cake and insisted Penny had it. We laughed together all the time and were just plain silly.

Time marched on quickly and before we knew, we were in junior high. That is when I had my first experience of anxiety and paranoia. We went to an all-girls school. (My hormones were raging so this was hell on earth!)

Penny was a year ahead of me. I struggled to find friends of my own. I will never forget the day I walked into the library and felt stares and heard whispers from what felt was every girl there. I ran home and trembled in my mom’s arms. Penny came to comfort me too.

In high school I was happy until the summer of my junior year. I woke up one morning and felt like I was in a dark room. It was a beautiful summer day, but I could not enjoy it like I had before. I tried everything to snap out of it. Listening to my favorite music, trips to the beach and time with friends. Nothing worked. Penny tried her darndest to reach me, but I was unreachable.

Because my uncle has bipolar disorder and my mother struggles with depression and anxiety, my parents immediately made an appointment with a psychologist. I found myself in therapy sitting on a brown couch staring at some god awful flower art work. Therapy helped for a bit.

The summer after I graduated high school I went on a cruise where I had my first manic high. I had no clue what was happening to me.

I did not recognize myself in the mirror. My mind was racing a hundred miles a minute. My speech was fast. I was Miss Know-It-All. I felt I was having an out of body experience.

When I returned home, I was terrified. Again Penny was there for me. She stood by my side when I was put on lithium for the first time. She never judged me, never preached to me, she just loved me and accepted me in a way that I desperately needed.

Through the extreme highs and lows of the next years, Penny continued to stand by me. She never gave up or turned her back on me. I can only imagine how hard it was on her to see me so sick and unstable at my worst. Now she rejoices with me at my best. When I think of our friendship I think of the sappy song “Wind Beneath My Waves” by Bette Midler. My hope for you is that you have a Penny in your life. For me it has made all the difference.

About the author
Susan Johnson graduated from Drake University with a BA in sociology. She is the author of Some Dreams Are Worth Keeping: A Memoir of My Bipolar Journey. Since her diagnosis of bipolar I in 1995, Susie's true passion in life is to help break the stigma of mental illness and to bring hope to those who live with one. An accomplished inspirational speaker and guest blogger at bpHope Blog, Susie was the subject of a “This Is Me” Q&A in bp Magazine in 2018. Her writing also appears in the Catholic Exchange, the Kingdom Revelator, and Las Vegas Pet Scene Magazine. Susie co-leads a mental health group at her church and currently works with special education students as an instructional assistant for a school district in Nevada. In 2021, she gave a TEDx Talk called "Having a Mental Illness Is Not a Death Sentence" at TEDxTenayaPaseo. Susie enjoys hiking, baking, traveling, practicing yoga, spending time with her goddaughter, and taking trips to Cancun. Originally from Thousand Oaks, CA, Susie now makes her home in fabulous Las Vegas with her husband, Gary, and Siberian cat, Angel-Ann. Visit her website, SJohnsonAuthor.com and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.
25 Comments
  1. Hi Susan, I am wondering whether I might ask a question. I was friends at one stage with a gentleman with Bipolar. Unfortunately, I offended them quite badly, without intention, I had asked them how their mother and father were going. Now prior to that they had on a number of occasions requested for me not to ask about their family but on multiple occasions they would themselves talk about their close relatives. Although I apologized profusely, I was informed that I wasn’t a friend to them anymore. I am not sure what to do, because I really care about this person. Perhaps this was one of their boundaries that I crossed, and hence the result. I am wondering is there anything I can do? Thank you for any advice you are willing to give.

  2. I too have had friends that see beyond my bi polar. One in particularly would say you will get better a number of times to me which at the depths of my lows I didn’t really believe after five years of trying different meds and really trying to get healthy. I now have been level and feeling well for almost two years and am so grateful to all who hung in there!! Thanks for writing.

  3. Lovely. Simply. Lovely.

    While I don’t have childhood friends in my life I am blessed with friends in my life and of my faith for 38 years now. While I have moved many times, no matter where I am in location or with BPD I always have kind & loving friends who all play different rolls in supporting me.

    I work to recognize their limits & keep healthy boundaries because not everyone can handle the really messy stuff. But there is always someone who can. Admittedly, there are a few things I choose to save for the professionals.

    Happily, I still have friends in all the places I have been. They understand when at times I have less to contribute to our friendship. They have a way of safekeeping the real me until I work back to the recognizable me.

    It’s a joy, a blessing, a gift & the best hard work to have & maintain relationships on this BPD rollercoaster.

    Thanks again for your touching experience.

  4. I love this story and also you as a writer. Simple subject but such deep meaning to those of us that struggle with this see-saw illness, bi-polar.
    In About the author, “She is proud to be a Christian.” If the only friend we have is Jesus, that’s excellent and truly enough. But, He has brought me a best friend, a loving husband, and other acquaintances as well. Lift your head and meet your savior. He worked miracles in my life.

  5. Our big concern at the moment is our youngest son, 27′, who we think is bipolar like me. Worse I’d say. Says there is no such thing as bp and would probably not comply even if prescribed. Spends impulsively money he doesn’t have. Sees it all as an investment in himself on his way to joining the rich guys he seeks out. Has all these income ships coming in that may never. His thinking has become so grandiose. Sees a psychiatrist in Oct but he was so laissez faire last time to hear our son tell it.

Load More Comments

Leave a Reply

Please do not use your full name, as it will be displayed. Your email address will not be published.

bphope moderates all submitted comments to keep the conversation safe and on topic.

By commenting, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Related