Poldark recap: series two, episode one – here we go, scything fans!

“If he hangs, he’ll have only himself to blame ...” Here we go, scything fans! The sweeping coastline is back. Wrecking, inciting a riot and murder! The Bodmin Assizes! Truro jail! The recap was enough to give anyone a heart condition. It’s been a year and I couldn’t remember everything that had happened – although it certainly was a bonus to see how rough Demelza was when they first met.

This was an outing crammed with suspense and foreboding, and beautifully done it was, too. Although it has to be said: how much suspense could there really be about Poldark’s fate when this is the first of a 10-episode series? “Your situation is not good, Ross.” A swift reminder: Ross has been framed for the murder of Evil George’s cousin Matthew, who washed up on the beach on a night of much looting and pillaging. It was not only Ross’s fate that was at stake, though. Francis seemed precariously close to self-destruction, too. An episode about treachery, the settling of scores and what can and cannot be bought. (But what else is Poldark ever about?)

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Ross faces ruin and Demelza is left to weep over her dead child while Ross delves deeper into denial and deeper into the much-depleted mine. “So, you’ve made no arrangements?” No, none apart from some therapeutic bare-chested rock-hewing. Who can save the day? Come on, Elizabeth, seduce Evil George and get him to rescue Ross. Use your womanly power! What else is the point of your mahoosive hair? “You alone are the person I care to please ...” “It is I who would be indebted to you, George ...” A dangerous game for Elizabeth, who has now succeeded in offending her husband, Ross, Demelza and George all at the same time. Well done, Elizabeth.

Poldark is a beautifully shot piece, but it still has moments of self-parody. I keep expecting Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders to limp across the screen, playing toothless west country wenches trailing bottles of scrumpy. And what’s this? It’s Bergerac! I love John Nettles. And doesn’t he look good in burgundy? Middle England swoons.

What really keeps this series afloat, though, is the relationship between Ross and Demelza: there is a genuinely moving connection between Aidan Turner and Eleanor Tomlinson. The moment when she pushed him away as he saddled up to ride to Bodmin was sublime. They are a great, believable partnership whose connection moves Poldark well beyond shonky, forgettable Sunday night costume drama and into the realms of classic TV.

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Equally watchable is the dynamic between the two semi-tragic couples at the heart of this story. We like Francis, Elizabeth, Ross and Demelza and we know they’re all good people. The links between them are complicated. We sympathise with their shifting allegiances and the things that must be left unsaid. And, heavens, does Francis have a bromance for Ross now? If it all had to end in Francis’s death, I don’t know if I can bear it. Knowing Francis, though, he probably missed his own head while aiming directly at it. To be continued ...

Pewter Tankard Award for Bonkers Brilliance as Supporting Actor

I loved the crazy beautiful dog woman who looks like a blond Sindy doll (Gabriella Wilde playing Caroline Penvenen). “Horace and I will spend a delightful evening in our lodgings eating jellies.” And I almost complained that “There’s just not enough Verity” and then there she was.

But there could be only one major supporting star skulking terrifyingly in the wings. The pewter tankard goes to Caroline Blakiston, the exceptionally badass 83-year-old actor playing Aunt Agatha, who is always sitting in the corner looking like the angel of death, turning over tarot cards. The scowling countenance! The hooded eyes! The guillotine-style chopping of the fig! “That new contraption they have in France ...” And her dismissal of Evil George was priceless: “Pasty-faced ... Consequence of sitting too long indoors fingering coins.” Never has anyone relished the word “fingering” so knowingly. Aunt Agatha, we salute you.

Classic Poldark lines

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“She looks like a dangerous woman to me!” (Repeat ad infinitum every time Demelza appears in a public place.) Look, just because Demelza has red hair it doesn’t mean she is a harlot, OK? How many times?

“I decline to be distracted by matters beyond my control.” Oh, Ross, for goodness sake. You are about to get hanged by Evil George’s scheming. Do something apart from some self-flagellatory nudey mining for once.

“Does he never ask for the truth in private before the trial begins ...?” Demelza’s butter-wouldn’t-melt appeal to Bergerac. This is what Demelza is good at: faux-naif.

Regulation reverse sexism bare chest moment

“To the mine, where it’s still possible to do an honest day’s work.” We all know what that means! Bare-chested manly sweating while mining in an angry manner. Shirt off, Aidan, if you don’t mind.

The moment was brief. But it was there. It’s in the contract (and the small print of the licence fee). Poor Aidan Turner, who has reported in interviews that he has “had a fight to keep my clothes on.” Bonus middle-aged lady perv moment: a few seconds of naked canoodling. Well, this was the first episode of a new series. You’ve got to hook them in somehow.