Raising My Son with Bipolar: It Takes a Village to Raise a Child

I have been blessed over the years to have a great village. Being a single parent presents so many added struggles raising a bipolar child that many families can’t understand. My son has a father, but he has his own struggles and wasn’t proactive in his life. My son did have visitation with him until he was around 10 until he moved out of state. during visitation his father never believed my son had bipolar and wasn’t concerned with making sure he took his meds or keeping him on a regimented schedule. Truthfully I was lucky if he came home bathed. Financially speaking I was the sole supporter of my son and I still am.

When my son was little and started exhibiting bad behaviors I sought help immediately. No one had to tell me he needed help, I knew when he was little. Thankfully we found a therapist who started to work with him. He knew I was a single mom struggling to make ends meet but he wasn’t in it for the money he was in it to help people. I can’t imagine the amount he would’ve normally charged but he definitely put us on a sliding scale. I only had to pay what I could afford and sometimes that was nothing. He didn’t stop helping my son instead he fought harder to help point us in the right direction for a diagnosis.

When my son started school we endured more problems. He was getting into trouble all the time. Not paying attention in class, not staying in his seat, hitting the teacher and the list goes on. If it wasn’t for his 3^rd grade teacher intervening I am not sure what I would’ve done. She approached me after school one day and gave me information on IEP’s. At the time I had no idea what she was talking about, but she guided me through the process so I would be educated enough to get my son the help he needed. Eventually my son changed schools and sadly his illness was getting worse and not better. We were fortunate that my sons case manager at his new school could see that I was trying to do the best I could with him. She approached me one day and said he really needs a therapeutic school. I had no idea they even existed but I trusted her. She worked vigorously to help me fight the school system and get him into a therapeutic school.

Around the same time, we managed to find my sons doc. Not only were they the first doctors to really listen to me they were the first doctors who seemed to get it. Back then my insurance didn’t cover mental health 100% and I wasn’t sure how I was going to pay for his services when it ran out but the doctor didn’t charge me when it ran out. They provided him services and let me pay whatever I could afford which wasn’t much.

During my sons struggles I have always had the tremendous support of my family, friends and coworkers. Most of my friends and coworkers didn’t understand what we were going through but they were always there to babysit so I could work, lend a shoulder to cry on, or even help me out financially when I was struggling to put food on the table.

As his treatment continues into his adulthood I have been fortunate to have found people along the way who really genuinely care. He was placed into a residential facility recently in another state. The facility wasn’t a good fit for him. They could have walked him to the door and said goodbye but they didn’t. They networked and called and vetted various places near them to see if they could find him better treatment. Change is never easy for him so when it was nearing the time to go he went into full melt down mode. Instead of calling the police for his threats or taking him to the hospital one of the staff took him to a hotel and sat with him all night until he was calm and ready to go.

It warms my heart to know that there are still genuine caring people in this world because it truly takes a village to raise our children. I am forever thankful I have an exceptional one.

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