3 Ways to Reduce Worry Now

Worry is a natural part of life with bipolar disorder. But that doesn’t mean it has to keep you from being stable and happy.

Worry is a natural part of existence, especially when you have bipolar disorder. But that doesn’t mean it has to keep you from creating a life of stability and happiness. What worries you today, and what can you do about it now?

For me, worry is a sign that there is something wrong in my life and I need to make a change. Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed I just have to tell myself: “Enough worry! I’m taking action, right this minute!” A bit dramatic, maybe, but it pushes me to figure out what’s wrong and do something about it. Action is the key. This has changed my life, and it is one of the reasons I’ve been able to keep working steadily despite my mood swings.

There are two reasons a person with bipolar disorder experiences worry: First, worry is a natural symptom of anxiety, and many people with bipolar disorder have anxiety. Second, your worry is telling you something—you just have to figure out what. How?

Ask yourself a simple question: “Is my worry attached to a specific event or situation that’s making me feel out of control, or is it free-floating and I don’t really know what is worrying me?”

If it’s situational worry, that means you need to take action to try to improve your situation. On the other hand, if it’s free-floating anxiety and you can’t seem to get a handle on any specific thing that is worrying you, it’s probably your bipolar disorder acting up, which means you need to talk with your doctor about your meds and take a good look at your wellness management plan.

I had a situation where a relative refused to take his prescribed medications for his bipolar disorder, and his symptoms were really getting out of hand and taking a horrible toll on our entire family. This caused me terrific anger, fear, and grief. Finally, after months of worry, I mustered up my strength and courage (as I tell all of my clients to do!), looked him right in the face, and told him how his behavior made me feel. I put his meds in his hand and said, “You have to take these.” I was scared because he can be really unkind when he’s in a downswing. But he looked at me and said, “I will.” I could see it on his face: I wasn’t the only one who was sick of living this way.

Overnight, my worry was gone. I chose my moment and took action. My life is too important to let someone else make me ill.

If you’re in a situation that makes you worried, causes mood swings, and keeps you up at night, it’s not going to go away on its own. Here are three ways you can take action and feel better:

Remind yourself that excessive worry can be a symptom of your bipolar disorder and not related to something specific. Take care of yourself. You can significantly reduce your worry by managing your illness successfully.

Feel the worry and do it anyway. If you wait for the worry to go away before you take action, you will be frozen in place for a long time and probably end up feeling even more worried. Try this mantra: “I’m worried, crying, upset, and I’m afraid I can’t do anything about it. But I can and I will!”

Confront what’s worrying you, even if it scares you and the result may be very painful. Tell someone who’s hurting you how that makes you feel and that they need to stop. Ask a roommate to mop the kitchen floor. Talk with your boss/employer about a raise. Stick up for yourself.

It’s scary to face people you’ve been brooding about, to ask for what you want, or to simply plunge into a project that seems impossible—but, wow, it’s so much better than the totally pointless worry.

Worry is a signal that either your bipolar disorder is acting up, or you have a situation in your life that must be changed. Don’t lie in your bed in a stress ball with a running worry commentary in your head. Take action and do something about it. I guarantee it will be a relief.

Printed as “Fast Talk: Worried? Do Something Now,” Fall 2011