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My relationship with my cat is like when Leia says "I love you" and Han says "I know" except then Han knocks over everything on my desk
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FRIEND: do u like cats ME: I like *my* cat.
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Every time I see a large cardboard box I think "my cat would love that."
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"What's your favourite song?" Does the song I sing to my cat narrating his life count?
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i just vented to my cat for like an hour
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Saying "Bless You" out loud when my cat sneezes makes me
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Something hurt my cat's paw and now I'm all
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My cat: *Refuses to use the good toys I bought her* *only plays with things from the trash* Me: haha. same
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me when i leave my cat every morning and go to work
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interesting that my cat is afraid of wrinkled receipts but is totally fine carrying a half-dead spider in her mouth for two hours
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my cat always looks like she just watched you take the last slice of pizza without offering to split it
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"I don't have to answer to you." - Something I literally just said to my cat. Send help.
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*opens snapchat* 😍😺 *faceswaps with my cat* 😃😻
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My cat has eyes fixed on the ceiling and I'm hoping the disturbance turns out to be a demonic specter ready to eat my soul and not a bug.
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my cat and i made a short-form documentary
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Sorry I didn't pick up when you called, I was reenacting funny Broad City bits for my cat
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My cat hissed at me from his carrier on our way home from the vet and I have never felt more like a parent whose child yells "I HATE YOU."
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if my cat doesn't like you then i can't like you sorry i don't make the rules