Cancelled Lego MMO's biggest problem was a penis filter
You think you have problems? Try coding a universal penis detector, then we'll talk.
It seems like each new day brings with it another penis-related story. Sure, sometimes it may just be best to keep it zipped up and hidden from the public eye, but let's be serious, it would actually just be irresponsible for us not to cover it. Get it? Anyway, moving on.
A Lego MMO certainly sounds like a construction fan's wet dream, but it isn't all sprawling metropolises and fancy, creative vehicles, unfortunately. There are also penises. Lots of penises.
Lego Universe was supposed to be the Lego MMO to rule them all, but the PC-exclusive title disappeared from existence not too long after its launch. The reason? Well, it had to do with some sour pickle sticks.
A former developer, named Megan Fox (not the actor, I triple-checked), released a few salty details via Twitter just the other day, explaining why the project was inevitably canned. Basically, they just couldn't figure out an inexpensive way of dealing with the widespread penis epidemic sweeping over the game.
"Funny story - we were asked to make dong detection software for LEGO Universe too, " they began. "We found it to be utterly impossible at any scale."
Despite the team's best efforts, their "dong detection" software just couldn't keep up with the sheer amount of inappropriate player erections popping up everywhere.
"Players would hide the dongs where the filtering couldn't see, or make them only visible from one angle / make multi-part penis sculptures.
"The moderation costs of Lego Universe were a big issue in general. They wanted a creative building MMO with a promise of zero penises seen. They actually had a huge moderation team that got a bunch of screenshots of every model, every property. Entirely whitelist-based building.
"YOU could build whatever you wanted, but strangers could never see your builds until we'd had the team do a penis sweep on it. It was all automated, but the human moderators were IIRC the single biggest cost centre for LEGO Universe's operational costs. Or close to.
"People saying 'well just allow dicks' - LEGO's brand is utterly trusted by parents. We had to uphold that trust. Which meant zero tolerance. This is all obvious, simple stuff, and is why dealing w/ [the US Children's Online Privacy Protection Act] COPPA (which protects kids) is so damn hard in online games. Even DEVS build dongs."
The timing of these new developments in the Lego MMO department is quite interesting, especially considering rumours that a new Lego construction game may soon be revealed. The rumours were sparked by this new image.
It certainly seems legitimate, especially considering that TT Games and Warner Bros. are working on the upcoming Lego Dimensions. However, no official statement has yet been released by Warner Bros. regarding Lego Worlds.
The game looks promising. Whether you like Lego or penises, there really is something for everyone. Stay tuned for more info.
Big thanks to Eurogamer for the low, down, and dirty.
Kyle Lautenbach is a freelance writer for IGN Africa. You can follow him on Twitter as he awkwardly traverses the canals of life.
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