How to Deal With Smokers when You Are a Non‐Smoker

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methods

1 Living with Smokers

2 Coping with Smoke-Filled Environments

3 Encouraging a Loved One to Stop Smoking

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Expert Q&A

Tips and Warnings

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Co-authored by Klare Heston, LCSW

Last Updated: October 10, 2022 References

Secondhand smoke is a serious problem, especially if you spend a lot of time with smokers. Whatever the problem you're having with smokers, though, there are ways to reduce your exposure to secondhand smoke. You can take a number of actions ranging from excusing yourself from smoke-filled rooms to asking a loved one to quit smoking.

Steps

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Living with Smokers

1. 
   1
   Make your home a smoke-free space. To start a conversation about setting ground rules for smoking, speak to the smoker in private and say something like, “I'd like to talk about smoking in the house. I really don't want to breathe in secondhand smoke or have our furniture smell like cigarettes. I'm hoping that you'll agree to smoke only when you're outside.”

   • For instance, you can ask the smoker to smoke only on the porch or balcony. As always, be respectful but firm in your requests.
2. 
   2
   Do not allow smoke in your car either. If you ever drive the smoker you live with in your car, tell them they are not allowed to smoke inside the vehicle. This will help keep your personal space from smelling like cigarettes. Most smokers will respect your wishes right away, but, if they don't, you can be firm about your rules. It's your space and you want to keep it smoke-free!
3. 
   3
   Ask smokers not to smoke around you even when outside. If you live with smokers, you may spend a lot of time with them outside the home too. Many smokers understand that not everyone wants to be around secondhand smoke. If you ask smokers politely and respectfully not to smoke around you, many of them will understand and respect your wishes.

   • When around a smoker, you could say something like: “Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but could you please go smoke in the designated smoking area over there? The smoke really bothers me.”
   • If a smoker does not respond well to your request, you can try to hold your ground and see if they'll give in. If you really don't think they'll listen to you, you should decide to leave the area. For instance, if someone is smoking inside at a party, you can excuse yourself to a different room or go outside.
4. 
   4
   Develop compromises with smokers. If you're spending a lot of time with smokers, you may have to compromise sometimes about smoking. For instance, if you're spending an evening with a smoker, you might agree that they can smoke over drinks as long as they don't smoke over dinner.

   • You should make compromises primarily in situations that won't have long-term consequences. Allowing someone to smoke around you while on vacation, for instance, will not affect your life as much as allowing them to smoke in your home whenever they want.
   • If you have smoke allergies, you may not be able to compromise.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Coping with Smoke-Filled Environments

1. 
   1
   Find smoke-free areas. If you find yourself in a place that has a lot of smokers, try to find areas where there is less smoke. Many public places have designated smoke-free areas, so you should seek these out.
2. 
   2
   Report smokers in appropriate situations. Sometimes people smoke in places they shouldn't, like restaurants or bars where smoking has been banned. In these cases, it's appropriate to ask an authority figure -- a restaurant manager or police officer, for instance -- to tell the smoker to stop.
3. 
   3
   Stand upwind of smokers. If you cannot get away from smokers, try to place yourself upwind of them. This will not completely protect you from secondhand smoke, but it can help you to breathe in less than you would if the wind were blowing the smoke towards you.
4. 
   4
   Walk past smokers quickly. When walking past smokers in public spaces, try to move past them as quickly as you can. This will help limit your exposure to secondhand smoke.
5. 
   5
   Stay hydrated. Cigarette smoke is harmful to people's immune systems. If you're around smokers and cannot get away, do your best to stay hydrated. Keeping hydrated will help your immune system to stay active in spite of the smoke.

   • If you know you're going to be in a smoky environment for a while, bring a water bottle with you.
6. 
   6
   Get plenty of vitamin C. You should do your best to get plenty of vitamin C if you're around smokers. Like staying hydrated, vitamin C helps promote a healthy immune system. You can get vitamin C from foods like oranges and strawberries or from vitamin supplement pills, which you can usually find in any drug or grocery store.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Encouraging a Loved One to Stop Smoking

1. 
   1
   Encourage smokers you're close with to quit. If someone you're very close with smokes, like a best friend, parent, or spouse, you may want to respectfully ask them to quit smoking. This can be a touchy situation, so you'll have to approach it delicately.

   • Asking someone to stop smoking is a very serious request. You will probably not want to have this kind of conversation with someone you're not close with as it could be considered simply rude and offensive rather than helpful.
   • If there are specific things that bother you, like kissing just after they've been smoking, let them know.
2. 
   2
   Remain sympathetic. Imagine how your loved one might feel about smoking, and keep these feelings in mind. Many smokers have tried to quit before and failed, so you need to be sensitive to the fact that your loved one may have battled with quitting before. Their smoking might bother them as much (if not more) than it bothers you, so try to remember that this is a struggle for them too.
3. 
   3
   Stress how much you care about them. You don't want your loved one to quit smoking just because you don't like the smell but because you're concerned for their health. By emphasizing how much you care about your loved one's health, you can help ensure they know that you're making this request out of love.

   • You can start the conversation by saying something like, “You mean a lot to me, so I want to talk about quitting smoking. I'm just really afraid of what might happen to you if you keep smoking.”
   • If you have serious health concerns for yourself, it's okay to share those as well.
4. 
   4
   Direct your loved ones to resources on how to quit smoking. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, for instance, has compiled a list of effective resources on their website. You may also be able to pick up helpful pamphlets at a doctor's office, hospital, or community health center.
5. 
   5
   Don't lecture. Your loved one probably already knows about all the harmful effects of smoking, so don't give them a lecture. They aren't stupid for smoking, they simply have an addiction. Focus on how their smoking makes you feel rather than the facts about the dangers of cigarettes.

   • You can find a guide on how to quit smoking here: https://www.wikihow.com/Quit-Smoking
6. 
   6
   Distract your loved one from cravings. You can take your loved one's mind off of smoking by filling your time with fun activities. You can go hiking, play board games, make dinner together, go out to the movies, or anything else you think they'll enjoy.

   • You can also give them small things like gum or a stress ball to help them take their mind off of cravings. Try to have small stress reducers on hand as much as possible.
7. 7
   Celebrate their efforts and progress. Whenever you notice that your loved one has cut down on smoking a little bit, compliment them on their success and/or let them know how much you appreciate their accommodation. By acknowledging small changes, you can show your loved one that you're in this with them. This may make them feel more cared for and motivated.

Expert Q&A

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• Question

  What does it mean to be a social smoker?

  

  Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
  Professional Counselor

  Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Wisconsin. She specializes in addictions, mental health problems, and trauma recovery. She has worked as a counselor in both community health settings and private practice. She also works as a writer and researcher, with education, experience, and compassion for people informing her research and writing subjects. She received Bachelor’s degrees in Communications and Psychology from the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. She also earned an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University.

  

  Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

  Professional Counselor

  Expert Answer

  A social smoker is one who engages in smoking behavior when in the presence of others but not usually while alone.

  Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
  Thank you for your feedback.
  If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow

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  Not Helpful 1 Helpful 3
• Question

  What is a casual smoker?

  

  Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
  Professional Counselor

  Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Wisconsin. She specializes in addictions, mental health problems, and trauma recovery. She has worked as a counselor in both community health settings and private practice. She also works as a writer and researcher, with education, experience, and compassion for people informing her research and writing subjects. She received Bachelor’s degrees in Communications and Psychology from the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. She also earned an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University.

  

  Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

  Professional Counselor

  Expert Answer

  A casual smoker is traditionally someone who does not smoke on a regular, habitual basis. Instead, they may only smoke with certain people or in certain environments.

  Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
  Thank you for your feedback.
  If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow

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• Question

  Can you get cancer from one cigarette?

  

  Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
  Professional Counselor

  Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Wisconsin. She specializes in addictions, mental health problems, and trauma recovery. She has worked as a counselor in both community health settings and private practice. She also works as a writer and researcher, with education, experience, and compassion for people informing her research and writing subjects. She received Bachelor’s degrees in Communications and Psychology from the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. She also earned an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University.

  

  Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

  Professional Counselor

  Expert Answer

  Cancer is a complex disease. Research shows smoking is positively correlated with many types of cancer. While research does not state whether “one cigarette” can cause cancer or not, cigarette smoking is bad for one’s health.

  Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
  Thank you for your feedback.
  If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow

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Tips

• If you plan on helping a smoker quit, remember that you are fighting their addiction, not them.
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• Do not expect a smoker to kick the habit immediately. It won't happen.
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Warnings

• Experts state that there is no safe level of exposure to secondhand smoke.
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• Do not lecture smokers on the harms of smoking. They almost certainly know them already and will be annoyed.
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• Do not pick on people when they're trying to quit smoking, as it may frustrate them further.
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• Remember that smoking is an addiction. Many smokers would like to stop if they could.
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