I have dropped literally every liquid I have encountered this morning, including:

• Melted butter (on pierogies)
  
• Swiffer wetjet liquid (to clean up the melted butter)
  
• Glue (to glue part of the swiffer that I didn’t notice was broken back together)
  
• Cherry-pomegranate drink (on my carpet)
  
• Vinegar (to try and get the stain out of the carpet, but spilled it in the kitchen first) 
  
• Blue hair dye (because I learn lessons slowly) 
  

Fortunately the dye jar landed right side up and only speckled my feet. And it looks like most of the cherry-pom stain on the carpet came out with liberal applications of vinegar. 

What I’m saying is, I’m not allowed to hold any babies today. THEY’RE MOSTLY LIQUID.