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We’ve all been nervous at some point—it’s a totally natural feeling that’s part of the human experience! However, if your nervousness causes you to freeze up before performing certain activities or just makes it really hard to go about your day, it’s something you probably want to work on improving. Luckily, with patience and practice, you can beat unpleasant nervous feelings.

Here are 11 tips for keeping your nerves at bay.

1

Practice for anything that you’re nervous to do.

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  1. Practice a presentation out loud in front of a mirror or in front of people you’re comfortable around, for example. Or, go out to a park and practice your shooting for an upcoming basketball game if that’s what’s making you nervous.[1]
    • If you’re nervous about an upcoming social engagement, you can practice how to introduce yourself to new people or practice some small talk in front of the mirror.
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2

Give yourself a pep talk.

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  1. For example, if you’re nervous for an upcoming athletic performance, tell yourself something like “I’ve got this!” or “You’re ready for this!” Or, if you’re nervous about trying something new like going hang gliding, tell yourself “This is going to be fun!”[2]
    • You can also try developing a mantra, or a phrase or set of words that help calm you, and using it every time you feel nervous about anything. For instance, repeat something like “You are strong.” over and over to yourself any time you get nervous.
3

Visualize success.

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  1. If you’re feeling nervous about something like an upcoming presentation or sports match, imagine it going super well for you. If negative thoughts come into your mind, push those out and continue visualizing yourself doing well.[3]
    • To help you do this, ask yourself: “What’s the best thing that can happen?” Then, focus on visualizing the most positive outcome that could happen from your upcoming performance.
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4

Take deep, slow breaths.

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  1. Close your eyes and slow down your breathing rate to relax your mind and your body. Try breathing in through your nose for at least 4-5 seconds, then deeply exhale out of your mouth for as long as possible.[4]
    • Yoga practitioners around the world manipulate their breathing patterns every day in an effort to calm the mind. Long, peaceful breaths cue our minds and bodies that everything is okay. Short, harsh breaths do the opposite. By breathing correctly, you can tell your body how to feel.[5]
    • You can regulate your breath by counting to a certain number or repeating "Now I breathe in, now I breathe out."
6

Write down your nervous thoughts.

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  1. Get a writing utensil and a piece of paper and write down everything that’s making you feel nervous. Write down additional thoughts about why those things are making you feel nervous. Once you've written down your feelings, either throw the paper away as a symbolic gesture or keep it to consider it during the day.[7]
    • For example, if you’re nervous about an upcoming social event, write down what that event is and try to elaborate on why it’s making you feel nervous. Then, confront those feelings and try to let them go — they might seem less rational when you see them written down!
7

Focus on the present instead of living in the past or future.

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  1. Don't stress yourself out by dwelling on an embarrassing moment or expecting to fail at something that’s coming up. Instead, focus on what you’re doing or what you can do in the present moment.[8]
    • There is such a thing as a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you concentrate on messing up your big speech tomorrow, you might end up messing up your big speech tomorrow. Focusing on the now grounds you in what's going on and lets you keep a level head.
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8

Remember that it's natural to get nervous.

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  1. Try to practice self-compassion and recognize that you are bound to be nervous at some points in your life. It's a really natural reaction, so don't beat yourself up for feeling that way.[9]
    • If you notice physical reactions like your throat tightening, your palms sweating, or your stomach feeling knotted, remind yourself that those are just natural reactions caused by your nervous system — it doesn't mean your body is betraying you![10]
9

Get organized for upcoming performances.

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  1. For example, if you’re nervous for an upcoming presentation, get all your notes together, go over your presentation slides again, and make sure you have any props or visual aids you need ready to go. Or, if you’re nervous for your basketball game tomorrow, pack your uniform and other gear in a bag and place it by the door.[11]
    • A “performance” can be anything you have to do that’s making you feel nervous. For example, a party or other social event can be considered a social performance. You could pick out your outfit and brainstorm some topics of conversation to get organized for something like that.
    Beyoncé Knowles
    Beyoncé Knowles, Singer & Businesswoman

    If you experience nerves, channel them so that they fuel you. "I think it's healthy for a person to be nervous. It means you care – that you work hard and want to give a great performance. You just have to channel that nervous energy into the show."

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10

Face your fears.

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  1. Instead, force yourself to do activities that make you nervous to overcome those feelings. Start small and work your way up to conquer bigger fears as you get more comfortable.[12]
    • For example, if social interaction makes you nervous, start small by just going to a party full of strangers with a friend of yours. Then, once you feel okay there, make it a goal to introduce yourself to at least 1 new person.

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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do I stop getting nervous?
    Tracy Carver, PhD
    Tracy Carver, PhD
    Licensed Psychologist
    Dr. Tracy Carver is an award-winning Licensed Psychologist based in Austin, Texas. Dr. Carver specializes in counseling for issues related to self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and psychedelic integration. She holds a BS in Psychology from Virginia Commonwealth University, an MA in Educational Psychology, and a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from The University of Texas at Austin. Dr. Carver also completed an internship in Clinical Psychology through Harvard University Medical School. She was voted one of the Best Mental Health Professionals in Austin for four years in a row by Austin Fit Magazine. Dr. Carver has been featured in Austin Monthly, Austin Woman Magazine, Life in Travis Heights, and KVUE (the Austin affiliate for ABC News).
    Tracy Carver, PhD
    Licensed Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Validate your feelings—being nervous is totally normal. When your palms get sweaty or your stomach is in knots, your nervous system starts activating chemicals that it thinks are going to help you survive, so just try to appreciate your body for what it's doing.
  • Question
    How do I calm down when I'm nervous?
    Tracy Carver, PhD
    Tracy Carver, PhD
    Licensed Psychologist
    Dr. Tracy Carver is an award-winning Licensed Psychologist based in Austin, Texas. Dr. Carver specializes in counseling for issues related to self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and psychedelic integration. She holds a BS in Psychology from Virginia Commonwealth University, an MA in Educational Psychology, and a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from The University of Texas at Austin. Dr. Carver also completed an internship in Clinical Psychology through Harvard University Medical School. She was voted one of the Best Mental Health Professionals in Austin for four years in a row by Austin Fit Magazine. Dr. Carver has been featured in Austin Monthly, Austin Woman Magazine, Life in Travis Heights, and KVUE (the Austin affiliate for ABC News).
    Tracy Carver, PhD
    Licensed Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Once you're aware that you're nervous, start to regulate your breathing. Deeply inhale through the nose for at least 4-5 seconds, then deeply exhale out of your mouth as long as possible. That's the best technology we have for consciously regulating the nervous system—and it's free for everyone.
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Tips

Tips from our Readers

  • Keep in mind that whatever you're nervous about will be over before you know it. For example, if you've got a test in an hour, remember it'll just take a little while, and then it'll be done.
  • Take a few deep, slow breaths to chill out. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Breathing like this can calm both your mind and body.
  • Try not to look out at the crowd if you can help it. You'll just think about why you feel nervous. Look at a plain wall or straight ahead instead.
  • Talk to a friend first to get your mind off whatever's making you nervous. Chat about other stuff to distract yourself until it's time.
  • Tell yourself that you practiced and are ready to go. Being confident in what you can do helps with nerves.
  • Picture everything going perfectly! Thinking positive can lead to positive things happening.
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References

  1. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/specific-phobias/expert-answers/fear-of-public-speaking/faq-20058416
  2. https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/nerves.html
  3. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/specific-phobias/expert-answers/fear-of-public-speaking/faq-20058416
  4. Tracy Carver, PhD. Licensed Psychologist. Expert Interview. 7 January 2021.
  5. Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Expert. Expert Interview. 23 January 2020.
  6. https://www.inc.com/larry-kim/15-power-up-tips-to-make-you-a-better-presenter.html
  7. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/social-anxiety/
  8. Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Expert. Expert Interview. 23 January 2020.
  9. Tracy Carver, PhD. Licensed Psychologist. Expert Interview. 7 January 2021.

About This Article

Tracy Carver, PhD
Co-authored by:
Licensed Psychologist
This article was co-authored by Tracy Carver, PhD. Dr. Tracy Carver is an award-winning Licensed Psychologist based in Austin, Texas. Dr. Carver specializes in counseling for issues related to self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and psychedelic integration. She holds a BS in Psychology from Virginia Commonwealth University, an MA in Educational Psychology, and a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from The University of Texas at Austin. Dr. Carver also completed an internship in Clinical Psychology through Harvard University Medical School. She was voted one of the Best Mental Health Professionals in Austin for four years in a row by Austin Fit Magazine. Dr. Carver has been featured in Austin Monthly, Austin Woman Magazine, Life in Travis Heights, and KVUE (the Austin affiliate for ABC News). This article has been viewed 1,181,694 times.
15 votes - 80%
Co-authors: 130
Updated: April 18, 2024
Views: 1,181,694
Categories: Featured Articles | Anxiety

Medical Disclaimer

The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.

Article SummaryX

It can be really hard to keep yourself from being nervous, but if you have to give a presentation, take a few deep breaths and take a sip of water to calm yourself. You can also listen to music you like to take your mind off of your nerves. Then, once you start to relax, try to dismiss fears that you can't control, like wondering what the audience is thinking while you're making a public speech. Instead, focus on what you can control, like making sure you speak clearly. No matter what the situation, remember that it's normal to get nervous, and it happens to everyone. For more calming exercises and tips from our Mental Health reviewer, read on!

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Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 1,181,694 times.

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    Oct 7, 2016

    "My boyfriend has a b-ball game on Saturday and I'm really nervous to go. I actually made up a lie to him..." more
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